To not want to clean her flippin' house and to.be annoyed that she asked.

[TexasTyson]

Best mate sent me a WhatsApp 2 days ago...

Hay darling! We are putting the house on the market ASAP if you have any spare time in the next few weeks to come and doing some gardening, cleaning, packing or anything to get this house looking good for the photos I would be so very grateful! And pay you in lunch and bubbles! Xxx

I've been stewing over it. Why the hell would I want to come and clean her house and do her garden!?

Are cleaners and gardeners usually paid in "lunch and bubbles"!? I don't even drink bubbles, I don't like the sensation and I never have.

Where is all this spare time coming from? And why would I not have my own stuff to fill it with? Like, for example, my own life admin. Or even just relaxing after a stressful few days at work!

It just feels like another case of "she has no kids so she must have loads of time and must want to help us" to be honest.

I moved last year and she didn't help me at all!!

I can't tell if I'm being a selfish cow... AIBU?

No way in a million years would I ask someone to do this. And I have lots of friends. There are professionals they do this sort of thing for a living.
sounds like she’s expecting you to do it all, not even “help out” which I wouldn’t do either. The tone of her message would have ground my gears too.

You sound bitter about something else or even jealous she’s moving. Isn’t this part of a valued friendship like those ‘painting parties’

I think it's cheeky, and out of order. I can kind of see it, if she was organising a whole group of friends as a work party with a barbeque, like a kind barn raising party. But I still wouldn't want to do it.

Vague acquaintance- CF
Best friend - totally normal. I'd be round to help my best mate in a shot and she'd do the same for me I'm sure. If you don't want to though just say so rather than stewing away about it. Sorry I can't will do!

I think I've just heard this thread being discussed on Heart radio.

She is emotionally supportive to me, but doesn't offer practical help. When I moved last year, she didn't even offer any help. I didn't need it, but thats not the point. Its the sentiment.

Do you ask for practical help though? Outright like she has just done? If you do and she always says no or does so without a reasonable reason then maybe yanbu after all but if she's just not done something you've never asked of her on the first place I don't see it as cheeky or her being a user

I don't even clean my own house so fuck that for a game of soldiers

I'm just thinking how extremely unlucky the OP is.

She's already had one thread appear on the Matthew Wright Show.

And a neighbour who spotted her vacuuming her car and expected the OP to do hers for her too.

Now a story in the DM too...

She’s cheeky as fuck

end of

as if you don’t have anything better to do with your spare time then clean her house for her!

I think not

definitely an element there of thinking that you have nowt bette to do with your time as a child free woman. So many people assume that

My best friend? - yes of course I'd help her, be happy to. But she'd have asked me during one of our regular coffees, not in a text. And it was me moving she'd offer without me asking.
Other friends and acquaintances I daresay would depend on the level of intimacy, but it's nice being asked favours: to me that's how lasting friendships are built.

I helped a friend to move by taking stuff to the tip and putting items into storage. On moving day I hoovered snd cleaned.
a different friend helped me pack up crockery and glassware when we moved.
Perfectly normal request, no payment needed

One of the reasons, I wouldn’t allow anyone to help when I was relocating, I wouldn’t have wanted to feel beholden to help when friends/family moved.

I wouldnt mind if she asked me to my face and it was tidying WITH her, but its taking the piss if shes not going to be there pulling her weight too!

If you don’t want to do it just say no. She hasn’t said you have to do it & you haven’t agreed to do it.
I certainly wouldn’t be doing someone’s gardening & cleaning a whole house for lunch & bubbles though I’d be giving her a cash figure for my time!
Maybe they have looked into professional cleaners & found them to be expensive or it could also be that they think you keep your home & garden really nice so think you’ll do a better job than someone they don’t know.

I’d do it with/for my best friend in a heartbeat. And she for me. That’s the dynamic of best friends in my book. Are you sure she’s your actual “best friend”??

To be fair you don’t sound like a very nice friend posting that on here. Of course you’re not obligated to help but her message never suggested that she thought you were. She literally just asked you as a friend if you might be willing to ask her and you can say no if you want. Sounds like she needs to find some nicer friends who learn to say no without being massively backstabbing about it.

Everyones different but if my best mate asked me for a favour I wouldn’t be offended. If I could do it I would. If I couldn’t or really didn’t want to I’d just decline in a friendly way.

lifewithelenakaterina Her text is lovely she’s even offering you something nice in return for your help.

Wow, you're easily pleased, aren't you?

What else can you say to that…she is a cheeky cow even if it was sent with the nicest of possible intentions.

Very weird robotic response to write to best friend. Don't text this 👆🏻

"............like you did when I moved last year? 😂"

I absolutely would help my best mate - I’d text back and say, “Sure, I’d love to come help, I am quite busy at the mo so let’s have a chat and get some dates in the diary,” and on that call make firm plans so I’d know what I was helping with and when and their expectations were also managed.

You seem bitter, OP, that your best mate didn’t offer to help you move last year…but did you ask her for help?

If you didn’t ask her last year for help, then how the heck was she supposed to know you needed any? Crystal balls are sadly few and far between nowadays…sure, she could have offered but she sounds like someone who assumes you’re doing fine unless you actually tell her you’re not. (And that is borne out by the fact that she asked you…she needs help and asks and assumes you would do the same).

We’re moving at the mo as well, and for things I needed help with, I’ve definitely been texting all and sundry (and yeah, paying in beer and chocolate and steak!).

I personally think your ‘best’ friend is better off without your help if you’re going to be this arsey about it.

Prepping a house for selling feels like a totally different ask than helping with moving.

I'd help someone with the latter, when often time is of the essence and as many bodies as possible is useful for moving furniture. Asking for help with general tidying seems cheeky to me.

If she was family or if she’d helped you when you moved then it’d be different but otherwise you needn’t feel obligated.

That's so cheeky!
Who would want to come clean someone else's house for "lunch and bubbles"?