Colleague offered help to a man friend and told inappropriate

[lunavista]

Ok so my colleague (work friend) told me this story in total mortification and I am trying to help.

She has a male family friend she has known for ages. He's married with a child. His wife is travelling to see her dying mother and he's staying back with their child. They often text to say hello etc and when she heard about his wife, she offered to come over for the weekend and help with the child. He then told her that it would be inappropriate for him to have a woman that's not related to him stay at his home in his wife's absence. She is absolutely mortified and doesn't know how to respond. I a personally think he's been a muppet. I asked if she has a good relationship with the wife and she said she doesn't think she approves of their friendship. My colleague is single if that's relevant .

I honestly can't see a problem with her offer. AIBU?

"Your mum (not you personally, anybody’s mum) can baby you if she wants to. Some random colleague, not so much."

My colleague's mum wasn't babying her - she really needed the help because in usual times some of the childcare/school runs are done by her husband who was away. I think it was either a case of having her DM there or taking the time off herself.

Only read the OP’s responses but am I the only one wondering why a single woman thought her help with a CHILD was needed? What would she know about children anyway?

Behave. A woman doesn't need to have children to be capable.

I can see why his wife wouldn't like that. I don't think I would if a single female friend wanted to stay in my home while I was away. I very much doubt many women would.

She hasn't thought it through at all.

🙄ah yes because only married women and those #blessed with children know anything about them.

But the child’s actual parent is likely to be better at it than a complete random who happens to have a uterus?

This friend seems to feel that some woman, any woman, will look after a child better than that child’s father. Well, either that or she’s trying to get in the dad’s pants.

That may have come across differently to how I intended - I meant “if your mum wants to baby you, that is totally fine, that’s what mums do”, because somebody had described it as infantilising upthread.

My point is people would accept help from their mum which would be a massive overstep from some random woman.

Even if your friend was male it’s really weird to offer to stay for a weekend to help look after a child.
I’m sure the child’s own dad is more than capable.

Why would your friend not say - if you need anything or you need me to watch the child or anything just let me know.

It’s weird and the intentions here are obvious.
If this is real I couldn’t bare to be around such a desperate women.

I don't disagree, I've took the piss out of the situation for the last 3 pages.

But please don't be offensive re childless women.

100% this.

I can’t believe either of you thought it was anywhere near appropriate.

lol

Would your friend offer to move in with a woman who’s husband was away to help out?

Exactly what I came to ask. Why do some women want so badly to play rescuer to men?

You say his wife already disapproves of their friendship yet your pal invites herself to stay the weekend at his house to help out. Really inappropriate under the circumstances. Good job the guy has some sense of propriety. She needs to back off to avoid any further embarrassment.

I honestly can't see a problem with her offer.

I asked if she has a good relationship with the wife and she said she doesn't think she approves of their friendship. My colleague is single if that's relevant .

This. This is the problem.

Nah, just makes you a it odd really, that you think having friends means you don't love your wife. Would you also stop talking to your sister / SIL, Mom and female cousins ETC once you got your wife?

So you had no interaction with kids before you had them? No nieces or nephews? No friends? I assume you think no one should be allowed in a job around kids until they procreated themselves?

His wife is completely justified to not be approving/happy with their 'friendship', to have opposite sex friends is pointless, why get married?

Blimey @JamesDUNN why do you think no married person should have friends of the opposite sex? Is this a religious issue for you, or a jealousy & possessiveness issue?

Is your wife a member of a cult @JamesDUNN?

Sounds like she has indoctrinated you. Blink 3 times if you need help ...

Maybe you just don't get out much.
Your cult leaders probably don't allow it.

btw, writing FACT in capital letters doesn't make your mad assertions correct.
HTH

What's your stance on bisexual spouses @JamesDUNN?
No friends allowed at all, presumably.

Barkingly controlling.

You poor soul, you've totally internalised this ridiculous paranoia.
Your entire marriage is based on insecurity, both buried & rampantly manifest.

Although I reckon you're having a laugh.

Of couse she is 😂

Also isn't being 'absolutely mortified', a bit of an over reaction?

I think your friend is quite sinister and pushing herself onto this man. Of course the wife is going to think it inappropriate to have a woman she doesn’t like or trust or approve of in her home while she is away tending to her dying mother.
the man doesn’t need help with their child so why is she trying to insert herself into their home?

Yabu totally!

She needs a hobby