to think mumsnet would be the one place you wouldnt get pulled down!!

[BroodyBaby]

Ok sorry if this comes out a rant, or a whinge but i am hormonal!!

Today ive posted on a few threads, one about a name, and have been told its Awful and not real, ok yes valid opinions but a simple, i dont like that, thats not for me would have been less aggressive??? i know im probably being a bit precious!!

Also this morning told not welcome on a ttc thread as i am not bding right now as am making financial preparations etc before the act!!

I love this site really i do but why do people have to come accross in such a bullish way!! It really makes you feel like your always wrong, ignore... hormonal...

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I think you have to be very understanding when on the ttc boards.

Nobody shouted you down, Broody - the OP was trying to start a thread for those currently TTC (actively) and you kindly posted saying you already had a thread going that she may care to join, and she replied (with a smile) that the thread you were inviting her to was for those 'pre-ttc' and she was trying to start an 'active ttc' thread, I thought she was quite gracious and polite abut it. I don't know why it got to you so badly but please don't take it that way

Is this it?

glad i am not only social outcast then i particually like the posts thats only comment is to tell you you are on wrong board or whatever and to those posts i say fuck off from the bottem off my heart. Actually there are certain people that just like to make a put down comment these people usually have such bad spelling you can not really understand what point they are making anyway but i wont name names

told not welcome on a ttc thread? Have seen said thread and I'm afraid you are being overly sensitive. The poster said nothing of the kind, merely that she thought thread you refered to was for those waiting to start ttc and she wanted one for people who were actively ttc. SHe never mentioned anything about you not being welcome. I agree with those who have said a thicker skin is required.

I think ttc is one of the places where emotions do run high. And I have to say i have been quite blunt in the past in responding to the "I've been ttc for three days, I've blown the inherritence on clearblue and am testing on the hour every hour and I'm sooo upset that I haven't yet got a bfp" threads because it annoys me when someone who has only just started ttc thinks they know what the emotional side of it is all about. Maybe it's irassional - it probably is, but 9 times out of 10 those same people will be joyfully announcing their pregnancies a couple of months later and will tell you how stressful it is when actually they have no idea.

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saff, not naming names eh? It is blatantely obvious to whom you refer.

blimey if that is the ttc thread you mean then yes, you are way over-reacting!

saff, what a pointless post

you want to send people a heartfelt fuck off... nice

There are very rarely such posts, saff.

you are absolutely right Wannabe. I know someone who was TTC, took about 8 months, she was complaining to another friend, who very quietly said, 'try waiting 13 years to get pregnant....' kind of puts things in perspective.

Nut lulumama does that meaan that the feelings of the one whose has only been trying for 8 months are not valid?

good god is that all you're getting upset about?

Maybe one of the fluffier sites would be better?

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I agree with Wannabee I ttc'd for, oooh probably a decade after finally having 3 cycles of IVF. Eventually adopted which took another 3 yrs.

I find it very hard to be patient with people who either think they are having a hard time if they aren;t preganant within a couple of months or those who wander onto the adoption threads saying "oooh I fancy adopting think I will do it next year after I've had a boy and a girl"

I am generally polite and they can't see the gritted teeth on the screen, but as Wannabee says they have nooooooo idea! Sometimes very targeted threads are necessary to give a bit of relief to those going through something specific.

no, no not at all, of course her feelings are valid, i was agreeing with wannabe re the TTC boards ,especially the sanctuary, being a refuge for women who are really struggling. not that you are not allowed to feel upset/ disappointed /disheartened/ depressed/ devasted or however you do feel when TTC. i think the distinction between threads on TTC is important, and perhaps the OP has not realised that. did not mean to be dismissive at all.

look im just venting, i didnt mean to cause ww3! i admited at the start i was being a bit precious, and i am a sensitive person and yes am feeling rotten now, i simply wanted tot vent not cause a row!! i cant help being sensitive but apologies to those of you've ive offended

Oh ok lulmama. I didn't mean any offence by it, it is just sometimes in some situations oldies (not necessarily talking about ttc but in all walks of life so to speak) can sometimes act as though they have a monopoly on things an that a newbies perspect of things doesn't warrant space because of the fact that they are newbies (iyswim)

cov, 8 months is well within the norm for ttc, of course their feelings are valid, but reality is that it's entirely normal to be ttc for up to a year, so to say that you're having trouble conceiving after only a few months just simply isn't true in comparison to someone who has been ttc for years.

On threads like that it's all about perspective IMO. e.g. there is a poster who used to go on ttc boards who ttc for 5 years and who then fell pregnant, had a text book pregnancy and at 40 weeks the chord got wrapped round the baby's neck and he was stillborn. She's now been ttc again for 3 years without success and is now at the point where she will be starting her only available IVF cycle in February so if that doesn't work she will have to face the reality that she was only ever meant to have one child and that that child was taken away from her just hours before he was due to be born.

I have been ttc for nearly three years, but I have a ds who I believe is perfect in every way, and what she has been through puts my own life into perspective, at least I have one baby, yes it's sad that I cannot have any more, but there is always someone worse off...

{{hug}}

Please don't feel like crap. We all get days like that

Cov of course their feelings are valid but sometimes you need to speak to someone who really understand ands it difficult being patient with someone who has, in your eyes, a smaller problem.

Its difficult for me to be sympathetic to people who have chidlren who want more but are having a problem ttc. AS someone who never managed to get pregnant, it was a real tragedy to me and I find it hard not to feel that having a second/third etc is a less serious problem. Intellectually I can see that it is painful to them but I find it hard to feel it IYSWIM.

My adoption training course was a huge relief for me, packed to the gunwhales with people who were exactly in my position and I felt much less of a freak.

broody - if you think this is WW3 then you won't last on MN! You'll be rushing off to have a cry every 10 minutes!

Wannabe I am crying reading that.