“Encouragement” from older men when I’m out running!

[Dubbin]

Out for a run in a local park today when I pass an elderly chap who shouts out “ooh well done!” . Now I know this isn’t the worst thing a random man can say to a lone female runner, BUT..... I have been a long distance runner for over 20 years, am now in my late 50’s, and run with confidence and ease. I don’t need encouragement; I’m not struggling! I’ve lost count of the number of (always older) men who feel they need to “encourage” me, and thereby distract me when I’m training. I always wear earphones but I can still hear them when they call out! I normally ignore them but today I stopped and asked the random man whether he “encourages” male runners too! He seemed taken aback and somewhat offended, but this (always male) behaviour has started to get on my nerves. The fact is they never do it to men. It’s always non-running men too; I’ve never had any problems with other runners who are male. What do the rest of you think? Am I over sensitive? Have any other runners experienced this and have you any advice?

Friendly comments that are regularly said to female runners but never to any of the male runners I know. 🤔

It’s never the older women, just the older men. Yuk.

Just realising I say hello to most people I pass when I'm out cycling or walking, when it's am empty sort of place & my pace is slow enough. Even worse, I have taught teen DS to do this, too.

I'm too out of breath when running to chirp much at others (!)

This isn't a post about help the elderly. Its about women being harassed by men while out running. This mythical notion of lonely old people sitting on park benches is entirely a fantasy. You would be as well to remember that men in their seventies often remain quite strong and can be just as dangerous, if that way inclined, as younger men. And tbh I would hope if I was as alone as you imagine all old people to be one day, I would have learned the wisdom of not annoying people by bothering them!

He's just impressed by you and making conversation. Its what people do.Honestly some people have got to complain about anything.I think some people would prefer to live on a planet where humans never spoke to each other and were like zombies.

Very low threshold if “ooh well done!” counts as "harassment."

Hmm l had an elder man comment on my running once but he was really rude about it - l am quite overweight but certainly didn't need him to point it out. Wouldn'y mind if he was slim and healthy himself but far from it.
So l understand where you are coming from op but would rather a positive comment than the opposite. Or nothing at all would be fine!

Quite happy to have no comments at all!

Very low threshold of personal behaviour if you can't simply leave people alone.

Well quite. Some real drama queens on here, ready to be offended at the slightest whiff of something even vaguely sexist. The poor old boy would likely be mortified if he thought he'd caused offends when he's likely just trying to be friendly. So judgemental 🙄

I'm just not friendly women when I'm running. Best not to to bother me.

Nothing to stop you being friendly and going around parks making old men feel good about themselves though.

@SummertimeTremdendous well done for acknowledging it's your own unfriendliness at fault

it’s not always old men.

I had a big overweight lady tell me to keep running as no one else was walking. I could have taken it either way. I decided she was just making conversation.

Do I tell all big over weight women to shut up in future?

What a strangely manipulative thing to say. I'm not friendly out running. Because I'm running. In a social situation, where I'm not moving at speed. I am as friendly as the next person.

I'm also not at fault. Mainly, I'm trying to stay safe, and to stay fast. Its not really an area of life where "friendliness" is relevant.

Do you normally have problems discerning differing social situations?

Women must be smiley and friendly and kind at all times don’t you know. 😂🙄

Heres some ideas to help you Dolphin

• Night club - social situation. People still choose who they speak to.
• Playing squash. Someone interrupting your game to be "friendly" would not be welcome.
• Online dating - social situation. People still choose who they speak to.
• Running. Not a social situation. Unlikely that people will stop doing it and change it to a social situation just to suit you.
• Sitting on a park bench. Man you don't know sits down next to you and without any introduction, starts to talk to you. Reactions may vary, but I'm out of there and running again!
• Drinks at a friends. Almost everyone will be sociable, friendly and polite.

Oh get over it , its no big deal and looking for a problem where there isn't one

This site is actually one of the most sexist I have been on
Have none of you heard how women also speak to men and look at them , so many must be in a time warp
He meant no harm just saying well done you , my dh has it said to him from time to time to and my younger ds

@SummertimeTremdendous he wAsn't asking her to be friendly or stop and chat , just made a comment , she could of kept running but chose to stop and pull him up on it
Some old man just being friendly, he may not of spoken or interacted with anyone for days but hey he dared be nice to someone

@SummertimeTremdendous he never harrassed her either
You really need to understand what that is
He said well done ffs
Some on here really need to get a grip on reality , I would rather runners don't run and breath on me as many do but it happens and i move on with my day

@SummertimeTremdendous you said you were unfriendly. Not me.

And I can assure you I don't need your warped help.

TooManyPJs
He could be a very lonely older man who is out looking to make connections with others

Women runners please do be sure to always keep this in mind. Do your duty. Stop - Smile - Interact🙄

😂

Maybe there’s a reason that men like this are lonely, if they actually are.

I can imagine my dad doing it - but he will speak to anyone and yes it's because of loneliness I guess (he was married 49 years and recently widowed)
But he wouldn't be offended if anyone didn't speak to him and he's likely to say nice day/morning/wish I could still run type thing

He did make me laugh when he said he gave a child a pound to buy an ice cream and then added another pound because "99s aren't 99p now are they?"

Really? Bordering on abusive?