“Encouragement” from older men when I’m out running!

[Dubbin]

Out for a run in a local park today when I pass an elderly chap who shouts out “ooh well done!” . Now I know this isn’t the worst thing a random man can say to a lone female runner, BUT..... I have been a long distance runner for over 20 years, am now in my late 50’s, and run with confidence and ease. I don’t need encouragement; I’m not struggling! I’ve lost count of the number of (always older) men who feel they need to “encourage” me, and thereby distract me when I’m training. I always wear earphones but I can still hear them when they call out! I normally ignore them but today I stopped and asked the random man whether he “encourages” male runners too! He seemed taken aback and somewhat offended, but this (always male) behaviour has started to get on my nerves. The fact is they never do it to men. It’s always non-running men too; I’ve never had any problems with other runners who are male. What do the rest of you think? Am I over sensitive? Have any other runners experienced this and have you any advice?

It drives me fucking nuts. I’ve had three similar interactions this week. I wish I knew what we could do to stop it. And it’s nothing like the cheerful camaraderie of cheering people on in a race.

I had a younger group of lads in the park doing it to me. Counting the laps and shouting encouragement. They were just sitting in middle of the park. I didn't know if they were taking the piss or not. I had visions of shouting to them to join me for the final lap. In the style of Rocky, so we all ran together with the theme tune and them waving their arms in the air 😀.
I think I was probably over heating!

So, in your theory, why wouldn't he try to make those connections with men as well?

Precisely.

It wouldn’t bother me if he just said “well done”! Doesn’t seem particularly inflammatory to me…and how do you know he doesn’t make similar comments to male runners? As an earlier poster said, I don’t think it’s a hill I’d die on to be honest. Perhaps he was just being friendly. If he’d said something like “nice arse love” then that’s entirely different.

🤣🤣🤣Not in the North West, so not your Dad @Butchyrestingface !

To be fair, when I asked him whether he encouraged male runners he didn’t give a definitive answer. My gut feeling is he probably wouldn’t. On a different occasion I saw another chap totally ignore a male runner while I got a “Well done, you can do it!” from him. Again, I was training, not participating in an event, just minding my own business 😞

It’s tricky, isn’t it! As I said in my original post, I used to ignore it but it’s started to get on my nerves! 😔

I wonder @Jofergo whether those excusing the behaviour of the men are runners themselves? I’m sorry you have also experienced unwanted comments when you run.

😂@Ithinkitsadoughnut “in the style of Rocky” that made me chuckle!

Yes, that’s the thing! Can you imagine what a male runner would say?!😂

MNers constantly say men are scary predators. Obviously nobody sensible would talk to a strange man for fear of assault. So that's why men say nice things to strange women but not to strange blokes.

ps: I sometimes go jogging. Dunno if that makes me a "runner" or not.

I clicked expecting to come on and say that since I'm in my late fifties the older men are really old and don't feel like any sort of threat. Then I read the original post. Oops 😳

It happens to me too, but on training runs I'm always happy just to say thank you or get into a bit of reciprocal banter. Doesn't do me any harm and might brighten someone else's day. I was much less polite when a random old bloke decided to tell me in the middle of a half marathon that I needed to go to a podiatrist and get some orthotics because he didn't like the noise my feet made when they hit the ground.

Thank you all for your input. Quite surprising how many of you don’t think the remarks are sexist and patronising! 🤔

I got cheered on by a man once when I was out running. I'm a shit runner, and it clearly wasn't easy for me, so a couple of genuine words of encouragement from a stranger meant the world to me in that moment. I took it in the spirit in which it was intended. 🤷‍♀️

Sometimes people just try to do a nice thing, and get shat all over. Poor bloke.

Well I’d be pretty annoyed too if someone stopped me during a running event!

I voted you’re being unreasonable. I always acknowledges runners when I’m on my road bike. I often say something of encouragement. It’s not meant unkindly. How wonderful you don’t need encouragement but I don’t see why encouragement comments are offensive. Everyone is out doing their bit to be healthy.

It’s (mostly) meant well, so I think the only thing, if you can be added is to stop and say, ‘ like lots of women, I’ve been running for 20 years, I’ve run x marathons. You probably don’t mean to be sexist and patronising, but you wouldn’t say something like this to a male runner, so please don’t say it to female runners. ‘

It’s worth doing.. but equally one might just chose to run on.

Have any of the 'the men are just being nice / lonely/ making a connection' posters yet suggssted a reason why these men don't seem to feel the urge to make a connection with other men in this way, rather than just with women?

He's probably just a lonely man and wanting some social interaction and being nice and you've probably upset him now. 😞

I like it when anyone gives me a smile or words of encouragement when I'm running, I smile back and say thank you. I asked my husband and he says people give him words of encouragement too. Obviously if the comment were sleazy I'd think differently but doesn't appear it was.

Good advice; thank you @Luredbyapomegranate

How do you know they don't? How can you know, if you run as a single woman, what happens to men when they're out running?

My DH runs, and has done for many years. He always says how many people comment (in a positive way)

How on earth do you have time for all of that without stopping?

When it happens to me, I'm generally concentrating and I get such a fright if someone interrupts me to say something, but I'm nearly always past by the time its registered, never mind having time to smile and say "thank you".

Then of course theres always the ones who decide to make a big song and dance about it, step into your path or make a big show of stepping sideways and clapping. All of its so weird.

Seeing women exercising as "fair game" is clearly one of the last bastions of sexism. These men know perfectly well that if they comment on a lone woman's appearance when walking along the street, they will generally be called out on it. But for some reason, they think running is different.

Lonely and offering cameraderie? My backside! Insufferable busybodies that need to wind their neck in more like. If they are lonely find somebody who isn't busy exercising for a chat. I even had one tell me my leggings and top clashed once. Knob off and leave me alone thanks.

And why is upsetting a random man more important than upsetting a woman out running?