Should a male teacher have done this?

[mycatisannoying]

During a residential school trip, enter a girls' shared dorm to wake them up?
To my mind it's a safeguarding issue, and there was also a female teacher on the trip who could have done it.
I wanted to seek others' opinions before raising it.
Thanks.

In answer to your question, No I wouldn’t have a problem with that

The teacher should not have entered the girls' dorm - this is a rule for the teacher' s own protection.

That is weird and it would have made me uncomfortable as a 13 year old.
Did any of the kids react? Was it noticeably off to them?

YANBU, OP.

Unless it's unavoidable, none of the males on the trip should be looking into the girls dormitory after bedtime until after everyone is up and dressed. The girls could be getting dressed or undressed or have thrown the covers off in the night and have their nightshirt ridden up or anyone of dozens of normal, everyday situations in which they might reasonably prefer not to be seen by someone of the opposite sex they don't have an intimate relationship with. Similarly it for the boys dorm, no female should be sticking her head in at anytime the boys aren't all up and dressed, unless it's unavoidable.

It doesn't require the teacher to be a predator for it to be inappropriate, though that is a concern. Girls and boys deserve dignity and privacy. In British culture, being able to be relaxed about sleeping and getting dressed without being seen by someone of the opposite sex who you aren't wanting to share that with is pretty basic.

Huh? Misbehaved while she was asleep? Or by not having a phone that a teacher thought she did? Where are you getting the misbehavior from?

All the wide-eyed, disingenuous '...and the problem was what, OP?' 🙄

Male or female - most teachers would bang on the door and yell at the kids to wake up. Repeat as necessary.

Walking into a dorm of sleeping female pupils to wake them up was completely unnecessary. It sounds like a micro-power trip for the male teacher tbh.

He knew what he was doing.

It does read like this to me too.

I'm wondering what OP wants the school to do as I wouldn't think they could make a policy to say teachers didn't wake up children of the opposite sex, that an overt or covert policy could be considered discriminatory.

Male teacher in room where girls are not dressed or getting changed or showering an obvious issue. Male teachers open door to room with several girls to tell them to get up when children are supposed to have gone to bed dressed as would be appropriate on school camp is a totally different scenario and one Id have no issue with.

I can totally see why people feel uncomfortable with it

Could it be possible he's trying to catch dd using the phone he thinks she has by catching her on it first thing in the morning?

I need to know how he entered the room before deciding. Can you describe what your daughter has told you about it?

Nope, I wouldn’t be comfortable with it. He is unwise to put himself in a situation open to accusation and it’s inappropriate for a male teacher to be entering a room full of sleeping girls, however brief.
i check my children before I go to bed no dd12 frequently has half her body out of the covers with one leg over her duvet, she goes to bed decent but sometimes her bed shorts ride up and she practically got her bum on full show-these are the types of thing that’s entirely innocent on the kids part but that a male teacher should not be walking in to potentially see.

i would personally chat to the school about it if it is indeed true he entered the girls dorm to wake them up, not in a accustationary way but to explain why it was inappropriate and that I would prefer it didn’t happen again.

So.. there is NO backstory WHATsoever to this OP..

This teacher decided randomly to conduct some sort of phone based witch-hunt on your daughter, who has a flawless record, has given this or any other teacher, zero reason to suspect she might bend the rules on occasion?

Or... as is more likely, she has given him/other teachers cause to suspect she's breaking rules, and he's keeping an eye out for that, and she's got wind of it and is pissed off and has created a huge drama out of bugger all?

HOW did he wake them.

A/ Did he knock loudly, yell it was him, give them a minute then stick his head round the door, shout 'gerrup you 'orrible lot' and put the light on and leave...

B/ Knock loudly, but enter quickly, put on the light and stand there telling them to get up but not buggering off so they could do so comfortably.

C/ Or did he knock softly and sneak in immediately and stand there in the dark, breathing heavily with one hand furtively down his pants waiting for them to wake up?

Because A is fine. B is thoughtless and C is illegal.

Which was it.

Bet you don't come back to the thread to clarify.

FWIW i think anything beyond A with another teacher in the corridor, seeing that he didn't actually enter the room/was only in there a moment, is bloody stupid for his own sake.

On sleepovers my daughter has I have knocked the door, called them to get up, knocked again, walked into the room. I’ll have to look at my own behaviour as a woman too.

no other adult should have entered the room really unless invited and everyone up and decent. So if my sloth like arse cheek and one leg hanging out the covers daughter was there they’d be in there still!

What did this male teacher do to wake the children?

Ottersmith

And for those asking if it would be different If it was a female teacher, well yes! Because 99% of sex crimes are committed by men.

you might want to fact check, if you’re going to make bold claims. But who am I to argue against a common trope?

www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/11/the-understudied-female-sexual-predator/503492/

I'm shocked at the replies. It's completely inappropriate. I wouldn't want an uninvited male to see me in my nightwear. Imagine the girls wearing a nightie and sleeping on top of the duvet. Ok, maybe they were all decent and under covers, but there's no way he would have known that. A total invasion of privacy.

And btw, for the record, I think it foolish for any teacher (whatever gender) to enter a dorm without a witness. In this case a knock on the door and a hearty "good morning, time to get up."

And btw, for the record, I think it foolish for any teacher (whatever gender) to enter a dorm without a witness

There's no need to enter the dorm at all. A loud knock on the door and a shout to get up is pretty much all that's needed. Going into the dorm is very deliberate. I wouldn't walk in on my DD and her friends after a sleepover. I'd knock and shout to them.

And yes. Women are far more likely to be the victims of violent and sexual violence, perpetrated by men, than the other way round. Men are far more likely to commit sexual offences than women. Your click link isn't a 'fact check.'

Exactly this! My son went away last week on a residential and he told me that a female teacher came to wake them up in the mornings.

It's one of those borderline things where some people will have a problem with it and some won't.

When I worked in boarding, male staff members weren't allowed in the boarding houses (girls' school) just to have a completely clear line in the sand. For teen girls to be comfortable in their pyjamas and sleeping etc it was important to keep male staff away. Not just concerns about abuse but simply feeling comfortable away from home.

I understand different schools do things differently but after careful planning that's how the safeguarding policies were written. I support it - it safeguards the pupils and it also protects the teacher from ending up in one of those grey zone awkward situations.

Sounds like they have had big problems with phones on residentials in the past.Maybe someone had complained that your dc had photographed them.without knowing the circumstances it's hard to say.

Para 1. Yes, that’s what I just said.

para 2. Better than the arbitrary 99% that was cited. I provided no "facts". I linked an article linking, discussing and citing legitimate studies (at least some of which appear to be peer revised) in gender based sexual assault and violence. "Men are far more…" - yes, that’s what the article says. So, we’re violently agreeing.

"the National Crime Victimization Survey, conducted by the Bureau of Justice Statistics. This survey focuses on violent crime. After pooling and analyzing the data gathered in the years 2010 through 2013, the authors found female perpetrators acting without male co-perpetrators were reported in 28 percent of rape or sexual assault incidents involving male victims and 4.1 percent of incidents with female victims. Female perpetrators were reported in 34.7 percent of incidents with male victims and 4.2 percent of incidents with female victims."

**Dutchesss · Today 02:24

I'm shocked at the replies. It's completely inappropriate. I wouldn't want an uninvited male to see me in my nightwear. Imagine the girls wearing a nightie and sleeping on top of the duvet. Ok, maybe they were all decent and under covers, but there's no way he would have known that. A total invasion of privacy.**

This 100%

You need to calmly talk to the school about your concerns about this teacher.

begore you do so ensure you have the facts straight.

take the emotion out of it - to be honest you don’t sound measured in your postings here and I think you might come across as difficult and defensive. I would worry your daughter has exaggerated this because she doesn’t like this teacher.

There will be lots of witnesses to the teacher entering the room so it should be easy for the school to get the facts.

the phone thing is odd and I suspect there may be more to the story. But share your concerns with the school.

For me, it would depend on how it was done. Knocking and speaking through the door? Fine. Possibly even opening the door a crack and speaking. I wouldn't approve of him looking into the room, because some of the girls might have kicked off the covers, pj tops can ride up during the night, etc. It's just a bit off to look into the room, imo, if that's what he did. Especially since there was a female teacher on the trip. It was most likely no cause for alarm, but I'd expect male teachers to be more vigilant against anything of this sort. It was easily avoided.

This

and what if the teacher had been gay and it was a dorm of boys think your really over thinking things here