Should a male teacher have done this?

[mycatisannoying]

During a residential school trip, enter a girls' shared dorm to wake them up?
To my mind it's a safeguarding issue, and there was also a female teacher on the trip who could have done it.
I wanted to seek others' opinions before raising it.
Thanks.

I do agree with PP if he stuck his head through the door and shouted that's fine!!

My point is that the previous commenter was talking about young girls being sexualised etc.

no young girls shouldn’t be sexualised. However in todays society young girls are encouraged to dress extremely inappropriately even in school settings.

I have seen and heard many a conversation where a male teacher has asked a girl to wear more appropriate clothing in the class room. And the children have gone back and told their parents and the parents have gone to the head criticising the teacher because how dare they sexualise their child. Yet this never happens when a female teacher requests the same thing.

@Stressedmummy94

I have seen and heard many a conversation where a male teacher has asked a girl to wear more appropriate clothing in the class room.

Does this mean you work in a school?!

Room full of naked girls?! Christ alive, it was a school field trip not a St Trinians film set

@thedogshatonthematt

You omitted the word "potentially" before naked there when rehashing the PP's quote.

Changing the meaning entirely.

Disingenuous to say the least.

Sadly yes he shouldn’t have done this. One of my kids had an inappropriate male teacher and he did small things like this that were “off” about him. He was not healthy. Sadly it ruins it for other make teachers now, yes, but I would raise it as this is how male teachers go unchecked. We need to protect our kids over the male teachers (and female teachers) needs. Sorry I would totally speak up. It has to be done. Unless you’ve had a daughter effected by a male teacher like this who did things they shouldn’t you can’t speak on it. It’s the small things like this that lead the girls to think it’s ok and then they can’t speak up.

@Stressedmummy94. How odd.
Where have you heard these conversations about clothing in schools which have resulted in condemnation for the men, yet commendation for the women?.

No my brother in law did though. So I’m very much aware of all of this.

even when I was at school no one batted an eyelid at a female saying it but there was always “pervert” and “paedophile” thrown at the male teacher who did ask people to dress appropriately. And the poor man never did anything apart from ask people to dress for the situation they are in.

also the OP still hasn’t informed anyone of how the teacher has woken the children up. Which also says to me they’ve probably made a mountain out of a molehill to be honest. They have been asked repeatedly to explain how the teacher woke the children up as dependant on how they did depends on whether they see there being a problem with it.

also there was no need really for the OP to bring up the phone situation as it was irrelevant to this situation. Which leads me to believe it’s more of a witch hunt on a teacher for nothing other than making her DD upset for being accused of having a phone they supposedly didn’t have.

Thanks @wellhelloitsme

Did we ever find out how he entered before the OP disappeared?

There is nothing wrong with a male teacher waking up kids. It's like saying a female can't wake boys up. IE we have zero trust in adults interacting with the opposite sex child. That is draconian and unwarranted.

But honestly this shouldn't even have been how the children were awoken. They could have used alarms etc. Told children to dressed and ready by xyz time or don't join in the fun.

Ref the other matters you raise, the teacher's choice of how he policed your DD is normal. It's how things are policed in school all the time. In fact it's how things are policed all over the world - someone hits your car and dies a runner, you snitch, someone's driving eratically you snitch etc etc

I think you're blowing this out of proportion. It's not fair asking her classmates to snitch on her, for sure, and he def sounds like he needs some redirection, but the starting point of him not waking up 13yo girls is no issue imo.

@Stressedmummy94

No my brother in law did though. So I’m very much aware of all of this.

So you haven't actually "seen and heard many a conversation where a male teacher has asked a girl to wear more appropriate clothing in the class room"? Bit silly to say you had then.

The OP doesn't know enough for people to be commenting. Just a little reported speech from an already pissed off daughter.

Men are undoubtedly the vast majority of perpetrators of sexual crimes. However, it's still odd to me that people kick off when similar statistics are used to justify caution around other demographics in particular situations.

For example, there was much heated debate and cries of racism on another recent thread when a poster stated their belief that we need to properly vet immigrants in light of previous terror attacks.

However, the majority (73%) of prisoners in custody for terrorism-related offences on 31 March 2021 declared themselves as Muslim, so surely pointing this out is no worse than pointing out that the majority of people charged with sexual offences are male.

Why is one approach considered racist but the other not considered sexist? Surely, 'the facts' are what should inform us, rather than some half baked concept of political correctness.

I've not yet seen anybody able to explain this.

Christ no it's not inappropriate, why assume this man is being pervy just because he's male? You sound paranoid

No. Decent male teachers are not "permanently on edge". I work with many men who have managed to have long and successful careers while still observing the basic rules. It's not difficult. Just follow guidelines.

Agree. Ds works perfectly comfortably with both sexes, as do most of his colleagues, because they understand safeguarding, how it works, and who it's for. Common sense is automatic for the majority. All but one of his department are male.

The idea that this mans career will be in jeopardy if anything is said, is histrionic.
Every so often male and female staff will be asked to give an account of something that has become a reported incident because someone wasn't comfortable with something, and most of the time it comes to nothing, because it is nothing. Occasionally it requires someone to re acquaint themselves with their safe guarding training, as part of their professional development, and very occasionally it's more serious. But in the later case it's because there's denial of poor practice in the face of overwhelming evidence. (poor practice does not automatically mean staff are a danger to children, but denial of mistakes can.)

As I stated previously. EVEN WHEN I WAS AT SCHOOL the male teacher who asked girls to dress more appropriately was called a pervert and a paedophile. So yes I think you would fine I have heard many a conversation about this! Therefore it’s not really very silly of me to say is it!

I was asked if I work in a school. And no I do not however you until 18 months ago my brother in law did and it was still happening in the school then!

However, the majority (73%) of prisoners in custody for terrorism-related offences on 31 March 2021 declared themselves as Muslim, so surely pointing this out is no worse than pointing out that the majority of people charged with sexual offences are male.

They're both just facts.

If someone extrapolates "all Muslims are terrorists" it then becomes racist.

If someone extrapolates "all men are sex offenders" that is equally wrong and sexist.

I've not seen a single person doing that on this thread. Can you point out any posts where someone has said "all men" are predators / paedophiles / rapists / dangerous?

Girls are taught from a young age to put up with creepy behaviour from men, we even joke about it with the and laugh it off so the man doesn’t feel uncomfortable. I am so glad that is all changing. We no longer have to care for their feelings of those who are creepy.

Ultimately I think the OP needs to clarify how the teacher woke the girls up. If he went into the room without their consent and little or no warning then I would say yes its inappropriate as someone of them could have been up and getting dressed already. which would be inappropriate for either male or female teacher to be entering.
if he knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer the door and just stood at the door and said everyone needs to get up without even entering the room then no I do not think it’s inappropriate at all

A male teacher in a room of sleeping 13 year old girls.

She says he entered the room.

She also says he was in the room when the girls were still asleep.

It seems clear from that information that he entered the room before waking them up.

It’s completely inappropriate for a teacher to enter opposite sex sleeping or changing facilities if there is an alternative.

A lone male teacher should never be going into female student accommodation or vice versa. If there is no-one of the same sex available then two members of the opposite sex should go together, but this is a relatively moot point on a residential trip as there should always be adults of the same sex as the children available.

This is really basic safeguarding, and I would be asking questions of the school.

Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it. I think you are reacting slightly excessively. No disrespect meant. We all worry about our kids and stuff we hear about in the media is making people rush to catastrophic conclusions when we hear about anything even slightly unusual.

I totally agree with you about them being facts until used to justify xyz.

But my point is that you could never ever get away with advising caution against Muslims in any situation in the same way you can with men. I mean, I even feel a bit icky talking about it and that is undoubtedly the social conditioning that one shall not criticise minority groups.

People definitely advise caution against men in ways they don't other groups. I actually don't think it's unreasonable but it is inconsistent.

Exactly this. Well said.

I'm not sure why people are making out that saying this is the same as saying the teacher in question is a paedophile and predator.

It's a question of basic safeguarding to mitigate risk for both the children and the adult.

It's not rocket science and if a female teacher was also available (which OP made clear) then it was foolish and against safeguarding for the male teacher to be the one to wake the girls from sleeping and enter their room in the process.

Also, with around 40% of sex traffickers being female, we do need to at least be aware of the possibility of women grooming young girls.