Fed up of Judgy comments to DS

[Fattyandconfused]

DS is 12 weeks.

DP has always been obsessed with clothes. Looking smart, designer gear… the lot.

so when I got pregnant I knew we’d have a very well dressed little boy. He has a lot of high end clothes

but for some reason my friends ALWAYS have something to say about it.

always the “you have more money than sense” or “he’s a baby you are ridiculous” or “oh god” followed by eye rolls or bringing other people over “LOOK WHAT DS NAME IS WEARING NOW”

Most of the stuff is from outlets, so end up being a similar price to next baby clothes. But I cant be arsed to tell people that. People also don’t realise that DS wears clothes from charity shops, hand me downs etc. I feel like if I started justifying it by saying “oh well it only cost xxx and his trousers are charity shop” it makes me seem like I’m embarrassed. Im really not.

who wouldn’t want their DC to have the best of everything?

we aren’t in debt and it’s something DP loves to spend money on. People waste money on drink/drugs…

i dont really care what they think, but just get bored of these stupid comments. WHO CARES?
id love to know some responses that basically shuts it all down without me sounding like I’m getting aggravated by it.

It’s a little bit tacky dress such a young baby in identifiable designer baby grows but each to their own, it’s your business what you spend/waste your money on.

Ralph isn’t as chavvy as Gucci or Moncler kids wear so I suppose it’s excusable. I could understand if it was Bonpoint though, but you maybe won’t know that one if you’re into logos?

So he's hardly got the "best of everything" if he's only in clothes from an outlet, charity shops and Primark then, is he?
There'll always be somewhere with more out there!
If you've grown up with little it's understandable wanting your dc not to have to go without, but he really won't care - save the money for hobbies and tutors and holidays for your son.

If you are genuinely dressing your baby in a mix of Primark, Charity shop finds and a few designer Onesies from an outlet, you need new friends.

If you judge other people on what they spend their money on, your friends need a new friend

I don't think I had the head space for all this aggro over baby clothes at that age.

If someone had commented on the clothes I'd have shrugged it off and forgot about it in the fog of having a baby. Honestly couldn't have been arsed to give it any thought.

Most people and their kids have a mix of primark and higher end clothes. You're doing nothing nothing wrong. No idea why you're getting grief on here or from your friends op🙄

I couldn't give two s**ts about what a baby is wearing as long as they are clean and comfortable. I have a few designer clothes and nice outfits for my boy and get only approving comments so your friends confuse me. These are bought as Christmas and birthday presents and he mostly wears supermarket clothes as he likes to get filthy.
I've no advice other than to ignore them.
Also I've found vinted really good. I haven't checked in baby sizes but you might get some bargains.

I suppose that calling the clothes 'high end' suggests that you do think of these as 'better' clothes?

You like some Morrisons clothes... but see them as 'low end'?

...So when your child is wearing the designer items - it is better dressed than the other babies?

This classing of clothes might be at the root of the problem with your friends. You seem to be criticising them rather than just decorating your own baby.

(It has been interesting to read your posts. I've not really thought much about about class and clothes before. I'd probably think that 'high end' clothes were made of unusual fabrics - designed and made individually - stitched with skill - including well-made fastenings etc. Clothes with a designer label on aren't always better made or higher in quality. I don't see them as 'better' - just fashionable. They are still mass produced etc.)

Wow so much judgement on here.

OP didn’t say she was better than anyone, she said she wanted the best for her baby, which is not just about clothes and everyone’s triggered.

You don’t have to justify to anyone what clothes you put on your child OP, if you and your partner like these outfits then keep doing it and tell people it’s getting so boring hearing the same boring opinions every time you see them… maybe point them towards Vinted where they can get designer baby clothes which are like new for £1.00 so they don’t need to think you’re in Selfridges every Saturday living it up 😂

Honestly don’t worry about anyones opinions cos it will be a longggg 18 years if you do 🙄 as you can see from this thread, everyone’s gonna have something to say, you can’t take it all on.

I'm calling bullshit on this whole thread.

When ds was a baby exh family were buying him loads of designer label clothes & tiny baby trainers, they didn't realise that the £50 top that they bought him only lasted a month & the tiny baby trainers were too small in under a month. I bought nearly all his clothes from the Next clearance shop & paid a fraction of full price for them.

I think surely it's just down to projecting your own interests onto baby?
Which is fine by the way! Surely everyone dresses baby in things they like - which if for you husband is labels why wouldn't he do the same for baby?
I'll admit I've spent more money than could be justified on a few pieces for our baby that are brands I like/things I would wear. I know she won't give a shit and neither will anyone else but there's something cute about buying tiny versions of things you like to wear!

It's your money to do what you want with.

Because babies grow so quickly, people think it's a waste of money which could be spent on better things!

Babies NEED cool sneakers though

My OH is the same, I just let him buy it. I’m not wasting ££££ on a tracksuit that won’t fit after a few months, I’d rather treat myself! Literally No one cares what a baby/toddler is wearing, buy what you want to buy innit

I will never understand why people buy Air Force one trainers for a baby that can’t walk boggles the mind 😂

This the first time I've posted so how do you know what my response will be?? Strange.

You have been aggressive to lots of posters! See their responses.

And if you want your ds to be and have the best in everything, they may well end up entitled. Let me know in 18 years!!

Not really sure what advice you’re looking for beyond ‘just ignore them’, or ‘smile and nod’.

It was quite obvious to me that you grew up with nothing hence your fixation on looking the part.

I was also a child from a very poor background and my younger sister is very like you with her attitude to looking the part. I have actually never cared what others think. I’m not entirely sure how we ended up with such different attitudes having been brought up in the same very humble circumstances. The only difference I can think of is I did exceptionally well at school and realised education was a way out of poverty.

I think you actually could do with spending some of your disposable-designer-gear income on wine. It helps to unclench you know...🙄

@Fattyandconfused

From your posts you do come across as hard work. I'm wondering whether your friends are reacting to how you come across?

From your posts of ‘i want the best for my child’ this comes across with equating to amount spent. I'm wondering whether even if not intended this comes across not just by how your son dresses but how you are as a person?

If you're honest with yourself do you judge people for not seemingly giving the best to their child, which from your perspective equates to designer clothes?

I also find it interesting that what your child wears even comes up at all? It feels like such a superficial comment. I wonder whether you've found your tribe? The type of people that couldn't care less what you dress your child in because the conversation would be discussing deeper issues actually trying to connect on a deeper level?

Basically, you do you. If you want to piss money up the wall on ridiculous designer clothing for babies then do it. Tell your friends it’s none of their business and that’s the end of it.
You don’t need to justify your reasons for doing it. Although I know someone similar, and her reasons were similar to yours ‘she came from nothing’ and wants ‘the best’ for her child.
Everyone’s opinions on this will be different and you cannot change that.

@Fattyandconfused

Genuine question on your experience though - I was gifted some beautiful looking ‘designer/high end’ stuff and I found the fit and just getting my kids into the clothes so much hard work! I always found tu/f and f etc just all round well designed easy to wear clothes.

@Fattyandconfused

I'm also wondering why this is bothering you? What's actually bothering you about people pointing out what your kid wears?

You say you are dressing your baby in designer clothes because you want the best for your child, your baby doesn’t care what logo is on his clothes so it’s a bit ridiculous to say it’s for your babies benefit. You are dressing him in designer logos to fill a need for you and your DP, which is perfectly fine. Your baby doesn’t care about logos, your and your DP do. As to your questions what to say in response just reply ‘ yes isn’t his little Ralph Lauren polo cute, we got it on EBay / charity shop etc. not sure why it’s irritating you that people react to a designer logo, isn’t that the whole point of them otherwise just dress him in a plain unbranded baby grow.

I could have written the same post! Though my sibling is my brother, not my sister. Not a pot to piss in when we're kids - now, as adults he spends thousands on designer clothes and I wouldn't be seen dead in a logoed outfit.

Clothes are such a reverse class marker in many ways. My brother is proudly WC whereas I went to university and joined a profession and I'm as MC as they come (give or take the odd Greggs pasty 😂). He's really proud of the fact that he's wearing a particular "make" whereas I think the whole thing is ridiculous.

So designer clothes are to attract attention and I think your getting it.

Sounds like your pals think his outfits are bit OTT and are gently pulling your leg and aren't giving you the reaction you want (admiration). The problem as you have found on this thread is clothes are subjective.

Most people recognise that designer brands are aspirational and the super loaded don't dress their babies in that, .
The fact is your baby won't be known as a "fashionista" (god I hate that phrase) because everyone knows it's not the baby picking the clothes.

The reason MN is struggling to provide you a witty response to shut the comments down is because your being a wee bit precious over the clothes. Most people do not care what you dress your baby in, but likely find the clothes a tad ridiculous. That's awkward to say out loud so people are turning it into a joke.

If it really bothers you just tell them it bothers and can they cut it out, then no comments will be made on his clothes at all ? (I suspect though this option wouldn't be appealing either as you want people to comment, just in a very specific way).