Fed up of Judgy comments to DS

[Fattyandconfused]

DS is 12 weeks.

DP has always been obsessed with clothes. Looking smart, designer gear… the lot.

so when I got pregnant I knew we’d have a very well dressed little boy. He has a lot of high end clothes

but for some reason my friends ALWAYS have something to say about it.

always the “you have more money than sense” or “he’s a baby you are ridiculous” or “oh god” followed by eye rolls or bringing other people over “LOOK WHAT DS NAME IS WEARING NOW”

Most of the stuff is from outlets, so end up being a similar price to next baby clothes. But I cant be arsed to tell people that. People also don’t realise that DS wears clothes from charity shops, hand me downs etc. I feel like if I started justifying it by saying “oh well it only cost xxx and his trousers are charity shop” it makes me seem like I’m embarrassed. Im really not.

who wouldn’t want their DC to have the best of everything?

we aren’t in debt and it’s something DP loves to spend money on. People waste money on drink/drugs…

i dont really care what they think, but just get bored of these stupid comments. WHO CARES?
id love to know some responses that basically shuts it all down without me sounding like I’m getting aggravated by it.

@Duchesscheshire That’s categorically not true. People with money definitely buy designer goods for babies. Not all of course but many. Designer childrenswear is worth billions. The average person can’t afford these goods no matter their desire.

Best Champagne?

If you’re in a baby group setting, Baby massage or Musical Tots for e.g. Look em in the eyes and say ‘ Today Tarquinius is wearing outlet* Gucci with accessories from Asda’, underneath he’s in a Tesco vest and Aldi nappy’ . Front it out op.

• omit if desired. Or you could say Mind your own effin business

If you are buying second hand stuff, you clearly can’t afford new babe!

second hand branded clothes is soo showy and cheap!

you definitely don’t need permission to be flashy and cheap. Feel free 😊

no wonder your friends find you so annoying. You came here with some questions, but you are just not willing to listen to answers!

Designer clothes fit in with people of certain wealth. Your choices don’t seem to fit in naturally with your financial circumstances. You are probably comfortable paying bills and mortgages. That doesn’t make you wealthy. So your friends are constantly asking questions and rolling eyes, because they can see how you are trying to pretend to be who you aren’t.

If you are buying second hand stuff, you clearly can’t afford new babe!
What!
Stuff and nonsense.

Designer clothes fit in with people of certain wealth.
Ditto.

The OP's money is as good as anyone else's, and her taste doesn't have to reflect her station in life. We no longer live in the days of Dickens.

@User112 I think you’ve @ the wrong person. I’m not the OP.

I completely get this! My DH is also into designer, limited edition, rare clothes. It’s a hobby and he is exactly the same. I buy clothes from Asda, primark and zara sale while he stalks the sales, Tkmaxx and waits for drops online of limited edition stock. Some stuff is reduced other stuff is really expensive. When baby comes he will be indulging this passion, as a parent with any other hobby … like fishing or football. It’s not wasting money in my eyes because the second hand baby clothes market is really big especially with designer and high quality stuff.
My reaction would be ‘name is wearing Gucci today thank you for asking’ play to it let them be weird it’s not your problem they should accept differences between what they pick and what other people pick. I literally would never dream of commenting on anything about another persons child. Your baby your money your choice. ❤️

Second hand clothes are better for the environment tbh

“you have more money than sense” or “he’s a baby you are ridiculous” or “oh god” followed by eye rolls or bringing other people over - frankly I'd tell them to get stuffed.

“LOOK WHAT DS NAME IS WEARING NOW” - "yes doesn't he look great?!"

Sounds like jealousy. May be irritating but try to rise above it unless they are downright rude (like above)

I am not really into clothes but I am very attracted by the idea of your DH's hobby.

I've always thought people wear labels because they want other people to notice said labels, why then complain when those labels do indeed get noticed?

Not necessarily, my son grew up in GAP clothes and M&S uniforms… because I don’t do ironing and less expensive clothes need more ironing or get damaged more easily.

I’m not sure M&S counts as a label for these purposes - they aren’t branded are they?

It was to explain that higher quality fabrics often need less care, so although I would spend £100s on baby clothes, investing in more expensive brands is actually cheaper and more convenient in the long run.

DS had Fred Perry clothes that are still looking pretty well ten years and three families later. Sadly, with many of these brands you often get a logo or detailing that gives the brand away.

I wouldn't be buying clothes to give away to others, children grow too quickly to worry about what the clothes are like in ten years time, it's irrelevant.

Spending £100s on baby clothes, is IMO a complete waste of money.

And no I'm not jealous, I wouldn't dress my baby in designer wear, if you paid me,

Huh? I don’t understand this point because you’re not dressing your child in designer clothes?

@Harridance I agree. Generally labels on clothes are there to be noticed and make some sort of point. A plain top with a RL horse on it is worth more than a plain top with no logo and it’s because it’s there to be noticed .. and the person noticing is supposed to realise that you’ve spent more money. And when people manage to buy the same top from an Outlet they are presumably happy that they bought a top more cheaply than other people would have expected it to cost.

My friend bought my daughter some sort of designer dress when she was six months old. It was Gucci or something

it did up with a single popper and a ribbon and popped open the second she moved

She wore if long enough for the thank you photo and went straight to the charity shop. I would have been too embarrassed to give it to a friend.

@tomatopsste lots of people do buy clothes that is long lasting because they don’t want to contribute to a disposable, throw away culture. It’s shameful to buy clothes to only last a few months then throw them away. The only stains I’ve been defeated by so far are the ‘washable’ red paint from nursery. Everything else comes out. Even those paint stained clothes get dontated to nursery as spares when we are done.

I help to run a children’s clothing exchange which well over a thousand families a year use. I see the same pieces of good quality clothing being donated time and time again. The best brands that get regularly donated that stay in good condition time and time again and don’t bobble tend to be Next, M&S, Sainsbury’s, H&M, Zara, White Company and Boden. We gets lots of Jojo and Joules but the quality of both is pretty rubbish, always bobbly and Jojo stuff seems to fade terribly. We get those Bonds wondersuits that people pay a fortune for, always bobbly and faded too.

I sorry but buying affordable clothing is not shameful, they last longer than the baby needs them and still get wear when handed down and to a charity shop.

No I don't buy clothes to last 10 years, not that I believe for one minute "branded crap" lasts 10:years.

If you're so worthy, buy reasonable priced clothes and donate regularly to charity.

I know a lady who dresses her toddler head to foot in designer gear....it looks ridiculous....chavvy....tacky and its probably all fake anyway.

Exactly!

Wow some of the responses from OP, who has now disappeared it seems. Wouldn't judge a small child for labels but would definitely think parents are wasting money. Would say nothing as its none of my business. At that age my DC wore things twice before it was too small.

IF the OP was moving in the circles where designer clothes for babies are the norm, no comments would be made as it would be the norm. Clearly, she isn't so it is being commented on. The OP was asking for help in how to respond to these comments. She can either smile and ignore it, as it is indeed her choice how to dress her child, but not expect to gain approval for her choices as she is experiencing, people will comment. Usually, they are made because it is seen as ridiculous to have babies in logoed clothes. Some wealthy people would see this as the norm (think footballers' wives) and not comment on it. Even so, logos on clothes usually mean it is intended for those with aspirations to be seen as wealthy, not the actual wealthy themselves. Have you ever seen the royal family wear logos?

This!!! 🥰

I don't think this is always the case. Maybe with some of the really in your face stuff.
My dad has always worn designer and I mean he's probably never owned anything from a high street shop. He only gets to wear them on weekends anyway as he's always working but they last YEARS. I Know it's totally different for a child as they grow out of them so less of an investment. But the quality of the clothes is worth spending the extra money. He doesn't buy clothes often but will always buy good quality and although I don't do it myself, Im more than happy in high street, his clothes always last miles longer than mine do.