Talk me down - is this country really so bad?

[BluePassportsAreBollocks]

I’m a long time MN user, NC for this.

Anyway, I’m really down about what our country has become. I’m Scottish but live in England, so much of what I’m saying relates to England but Scotland is just as bad if not worse whenever I go back (before anyone comes along and tells me that it’s all rainbows and unicorns elsewhere!).

The quality of our public services is pitiful. You can’t get a doctors appt, mental health support non existent, hospital backlogs, social care on its knees, schools underperforming, staff in every public sector unhappy and considering going on strike, huge wealth inequalities, huge health inequalities, outrageous profiteering by private companies exploiting the rise in inflation for their own gain (energy, fuel, food, travel), companies cutting their customer service to a shoestring level where it takes 45 mins for someone to pick the phone up only to tell you to use the online contact form, customer service in general appalling and delivered by people who just don’t care, continued and endless political divisions forced upon us and tearing people apart (divide and rule… brexit, boris, scexit, covid), no reply for days and weeks for administrative services like passports, overcrowded public transport, completely unattainable house prices, exorbitant cost of childcare, everything about parenting is a completion, I could go on and on.

I am genuinely thinking of looking for work abroad. But before I do, can someone please tell me…

1. Are things really as bad as they feel here compared to other peer countries (if so which)? Is it that we are living in a bubble and I’m not grateful enough for the things that work? Yes I appreciate the rights and human rights we have, but even they are being trashed as we speak.

2. If I could move anywhere in the world where stuff just worked, where would I’d be and why??

I’m N.Irish but live in Northern England in a large city. I think things have massively deteriorated from when I came here 20 yrs ago to now. Even the state of the roads, litter etc and don’t get me started on schools, the NHS etc. I’m just glad that my kids and I have Irish passports. I work in a job where I have a lot of clients who are doctors, surgeons etc and they are all buggering off to other countries because they say they can have much better working conditions and pay in other countries. I used to be a teacher and see that the same thing is happening in education. It’s so sad because it just didn’t need to be like this.
And we all know why it has happened and who is to blame…

I think we’re very lucky in this country. Ok you might have to wait for a Go appointment but medical treatment is free at the point of use and accessible to all.
i think of public service is much more generous than many other countries. Even in your post you haven’t suggested where is substantially better.

Would you be able to move abroad though OP? Brexit has taken away our EU rights if you only have a British passport. You usually need to be very highly skilled to get immigration visas .

This reads like an essay assignment. No one is holding you hostage, go.

I don’t have any answers for you, but I feel completely the same way. I wish I knew where to go.

I've had a frustrating few days dealing with banks over address and phone number changes. The length of time it takes to actually get to speak to a human is ridiculous, along with phone lines dropping out after 25 minute wait, and even customer service staff hanging up mid call.

Conversely, I've had excellent experiences with primary care, fantastic local doctors surgery, pharmacy and social care dept.

Family in Australia are concerned about rising cost of living, climate change (very serious weather events, drought).

Family in USA despairing over Rowe v Wade, rise of Christian fundamentalist right, gun laws, sharp rise in cost of living, healthcare or lack of it.

Friends in France worried about fuel and cost of living increases, also narrow escape from Le Pen winning elections.

I think the internet doesn't help - we're all hyper aware of everything bad going on around the world rather than just living our lives as best we can - I'm sure a lot of it is self fulfilling prophecy i.e. we're told things are bad and going to get worse so we just expect and accept things are bad, even if there's no good reason for it.

@BluePassportsAreBollocks Well we are just back from Denmark for work reasons . Stuff works there , but it's expensive and it's high tax, much higher wages though- the problem is it's not so simple as just moving now because of Brexit- you have to fit the 'non EU ' immigration criteria for any country that interests you. This will usually involve having a job to go to and sponsorship or substantial funds in bank or substantial passive income

@Kendodd yes luckily there would be an opportunity for us to move if we wanted to. Thing is I’d rather not have to, my question is really whether I’m too caught up in the negatives and whether the grass really is greener elsewhere (and if so where).

@SarahSissions my post is more about asking the question of are other places really any better? I don’t really have anything recent to compare it to to know how bad it is.

@KurriKawari on the contrary, millions of us are now held hostage as we had freedom of movement taken away. Even though I might be able to move it would be much harder than it used to be.

"Ok you might have to wait for a Go appointment but medical treatment is free at the point of use and accessible to all."

People are dying because they don't get treated in time. The NHS has been in crisis for a long time and it seems to be catastrophic since Brexit. It needs a serious cash injection and some attention.

I think you're right but I have this weird thing where I always try to justify it all in my head because I really want to love this country. And I do. I love the people. Most i come into contact with a lovely people and that's what makes it great. Everything else can just fuck off, and every country probably has its own shit too

It seems to be a race to the bottom and I don't disagree with anything you said. There are many good things about this country but it feels like the direction of travel is all one way. I work in an area where I help people who are financially struggling and there are so many problems they have which are caused by the system not themselves, the poverty trap is hard to escape.
I have no idea what other countries can offer in comparison though, and going abroad is not an easy option for most for various reasons.

I live in another European country and to be honest it has a lot of problems too. Pros and cons everywhere.
Obviously Brexit, Covid, Ukraine, supply chains problems, inflation doesn't help.

This isn't my experience. I'm in the south east (affluent area).

I don't have any trouble getting an appointment with my GP.

My child has recently been referred for a non urgent cardiac procedure. We only had to wait 3 months from the decision for the procedure to the date of it being done. Same DC has had loads of mostly urgent but some non urgent medical stuff over the last 3 years and it's mostly been good.

Public transport isnt overcrowded at all on my commuter line, since Covid.

I got the kids passport back in feb, one new & one renewal, it only took about 3 weeks.

The village I live in is a lovely community, really supportive etc.

Food prices have risen quite a bit. But we have family in other countries (australia for one) and it seemed british prices had been relatively low for years and were almost due a catch up.

Obviously energy prices and fuel costs have gone up.

Schools are a funny one. Teachers are definitely not well paid enough to continue to attract good people. There are teacher shortages. Education sector in the UK , primary especially, really resent any form of accountability on teachers. I used to completely agree with this them had kids and have watched as their teachers claim they are doing fine when actually they are barely scraping by. Year 2 SATS did to an extent flush out whether kids really were securely on track, they made teachers really up their game in y2 and I think scrapping them was possibly a mistake.

Politics is a shit show I grant you. We desperately need an election but we desperately need a new breed of politician too.

Regarding your questions:

1. The grass is always greener.

1. Everywhere has some issues. I have friends in Germany and it sounds good but does have a few things bubbling away causing problems too.

You're right OP but having lived in several different countries across the continents, we're pretty much catching up to the reality that to live comfortably anywhere, you need money.

As a woman though I still am v thankful to live in the UK as far as my basic rights and freedoms go

We are looking at moving away. You're not alone.

Same.

it has really gone downhill the last few years. yanbu!

@darlingdodo thats super interesting thanks, yes as soon as you mention those things eg RvW, it does remind me there are things we are lucky to have. USA is a good example of massively divided country where so much goes wrong and lack of universal healthcare causes so many problems, and guns

As many have said, the direction of travel seems to be to dehumanise and possibly desensitise as much as is physically possible… I’m not even sure that huge cash injections would work? The waste and inefficiencies and cultural problems are so ingrained in the system that 90% of any new money would be wasted or ciphoned off. It wouldn’t make anything better because people are too used to it being bad.

I do agree that people in primary care are however mostly very lovely and many other sectors could learn from them how to treat people

The country is a basket case and will only get worse as the impact of Brexit bites more and more. We are certainly thinking about moving to Europe.

@Justcallmebebes thing is, we actually have no money worries, but it still doesn’t stop me from coming across so many of these things in our day to day lives.
@InChocolateWeTrust I’m glad to hear some places are better, but it does also highlight the unequal nature of things doesn’t it

I haven’t lived in England for twenty years. I live in the US in a liberal state.

Quite honestly, ongoing mass shootings, the overturning of Roe V Wade, and the right wing drift of the Supreme Court far outweigh anything going on right now in the UK.

The NHS is a mess—I agree with you there. It’s completely unacceptable that appointments are largely telehealth and you have to wait for months to see a specialist. I have to wait two weeks max to see a specialist, but I happen to have great health insurance. For many people, it isn’t possible.

Unless you have the means to move to New Zealand or a Nordic country, I would stay put.

I hate the Tories as much as the next person, but...

Today I woke up in a house that is safe and warm. I worked in a job where I am treated with respect, pays a good salary and which makes use of the postgraduate qualification I was able to get due to the free schooling I experienced. My children went to a school where they are safe and mostly happy, and getting a decent education from dedicated teachers, all for free. Both me and my son have recently received excellent, free, treatment on the NHS for very different conditions. The rubbish gets picked up from outside my house. I live near a lovely park. I can cycle close to home on off road trails. I have a good life. I know, I REALLY know that many people are not so lucky, I was once one of the not lucky ones. But that has always been the case, I think the internet just really brings it home. I also know that many, many people also have the same safe, good, experience of life in the UK that I do.

I don't think my life would be better in another country. I know people who have moved abroad who have been very sad, and some that are fine - I'm inclined to think happiness mostly comes from within and from being grateful for what you have.

Sorry OP but I disagree. I love living in England and have travelled all around the world. There is nowhere else I’d want to live.

I live in the West Midlands and have never had a problem getting a GP appointment, whenever I’ve been to A&E - I’ve been seen within an hour, my local train station has free parking with regular services to Birmingham, London and towns around England which aren’t crowded… I personally think the UK has the cleanliest railway stations in Europe after having the mispleasure of using railway stations in the several around continental Europe. Food prices are going up but it’s still lower in the UK than most of the world when it comes to purchasing power with our salary and it’s going up everywhere globally.

I’m sure there are better places to live than the UK but nowhere is perfect!

The grass is always greener on the other side! The whole world is going through a rough patch and sooner or later Boris will be gone and things will likely perk up so don't despair. Though part of me is also saying that because I don't want you to feel sad...
If I could only pick much better than the UK I'd probably try either Japan or Singapore but that's my choice!
The reality of it is that we probably value different things. Would you be moving as a family? Any children? Roughly what ages? What do you like to do when it's your day off? Shopping? Hiking? Beach?

i think it can often be a case of the grass us greener. It’s clear there are lots of issues living here but equally having lived other places there are lots of pros and cons. Personally I think it’s gone very much downhill over the last few years in this country but am always surprised working in a company with a lot of international movers that they view this country very differently and very much more positively than we do.