Aibu to ask for this money back?!

[TeddyisMydog]

My daughters' nursery was doing a sponsored walk to raise money. I have two dds in the nursery so was x2 the sponsorship.
My daughters start at a different time than other children (been like this since they started)
I've only just found out the sponsored walk happened before my dds got there! We managed to raise about 75 pound between the two, money that I struggled to put towards it as we are skint
I'm going to phone the nursery tomorrow but would I look like an asshole to ask for this money back?

Yes. I presume the nursery is a charity and they’re raising much needed funds for them to provide a decent environment for the children? In future I suggest you don’t give more than you can comfortably afford though.

Yes if you’ve raised this money from other people you can’t ask for it back! What will you do with it, give it all back or keep it?

I would obviously give it all back to the people that donated
It's quite unfair my children didn't even get to take part, nobody even mentioned that it had already happened when I was handing over the money!

Who contributed the £75? Did you not check the time of the wAlk or could you/they do it another time?

Me, my mum, my brother, my FiL
No, it just said sponsored walk on the 29th of June

You can't ask for the money back! Why didn't you know the time of the walk?

The time was never specified

You can't ask for it back, surely sponsor money is the same as a donation?

And you did not think to check?

I was happy to sponsor my children as I thought they would be taking part, another parent has confirmed to me that the walk happened 1.5 hours before my children got there today. Pretty crappy of the nursery not to say "oh we've already done it but we are grateful for your donation" as I would've asked for it back there and then 😂

No I didnt think to check, they took the sponsor forms home so I assumed they'd take part

I don’t think you can ask for the money back. However, I do you think you can complain that your children weren’t included. Probably there were other children in the same situation.

Yeah, but...what are you actually sponsoring them to do? Toddle about a bit? It's not like they missed the Marathon des Sables. It's essentially just a donation without the nursery having to say 'please can you give us some money...'

Yeah I get that but I still think it's really crappy not to say oh we've already done it! My family aren't exactly made of money so it would be nice to get it back for them but they and me thought we were doing good by sponsoring them. It was a good mile walk too

I can totally understand you are upset and disappointed that your children missed out, OP, I would be too.

The money is a tricky one because presumably it's for charity so it might be perceived as a bit off to ask for it back. I wonder if you could ask for half of it back, and say that you will keep it for your daughters to bring in to the next sponsored walk/event? That way next time they will still have sponsor money but you won't have to ask your family to shell out twice.

You could definitely ask what charity it is so at least you know where the money has gone? It might make you feel better.

I wouldn't ask for it back. It's a shame they missed but I would walk the route of the sponsored walk with my kids next time we had time, that way they will have done the challenge and still have raised the sponsor money

The money has gone to the nursery.
They had to wear wellies for it too to make it a bit funner for them, I even put them in their bag
Obviously I shouldn't give what I can't afford but I was happy to because I thought my children would do well to walk the whole mile

Next time just put in a token amount especially if you have 2 children.

I think it’s a shame they missed it, but honestly the activity is irrelevant. It’s just to raise funds for the nursery they attend so they will still benefit. You cannot possibly be serious about asking for it back? Just take it as a lesson learned to check about the times, and don’t donate what you cannot afford.

I'm going against the grain here and I'd ask for it back , it's a pretty shitty thing to do, do the sponsored walk without all the children there they knew were probably taking part
Did you misunderstand the time ? They did it earlier than anticipated?
Yep I'd be cross and I'd ask for it back

Yes I am seriously debating asking for it back. Its like a pp said if you raised money to sky dive but then chickened out and just kept it all!
Some family members only donated 2 pound as it was literally all they could spare, I think they have a right to have thay money back when my children didn't even do it

Hi op, I am a nursery practitioner and in this scenario I would have made sure the parent knew what time the walk was well before it happened. Its not hard to say "oh just to let you know our sponsered walk will be taking place 10am Wednesday in case you want to bring Sophie and Emily in early to take part"

So I don't think you're being unreasonable to be to be annoyed they didn't get to take part.

As for asking for the money back I personally would just let it go to be honest. It was a mistake and as annoying as it is the money is going towards a good cause. I get your frustration though!

No there was never any mention of the time, nobody ever said its at y time and actually the mum that said it was 1.5 hours before mine arrived it was actually 2 hours before and she even said she'd be asking for the money back.
If they'd have said its at x time could you take them along and then home again until their nursery time I'd have done that but no not any mention of it

It's nothing like this 😂

The money went to the intended recipient (the nursery)

Think of it that you & your family sponsored the event, not your DC specifically.

You can't ask for it back. You can talk to them about not getting the right information so that your DC could take part.