Aibu to ask for this money back?!

[TeddyisMydog]

My daughters' nursery was doing a sponsored walk to raise money. I have two dds in the nursery so was x2 the sponsorship.
My daughters start at a different time than other children (been like this since they started)
I've only just found out the sponsored walk happened before my dds got there! We managed to raise about 75 pound between the two, money that I struggled to put towards it as we are skint
I'm going to phone the nursery tomorrow but would I look like an asshole to ask for this money back?

OK OP... You are totally being reasonable and sane. You absolutely should march in there tomorrow and demand your money back, and ask why they didn't specify the time of the walk. Then you should walk around to all of your relatives and give them back their sponsorship....

I disagree with all of the above but seems like that's the only answer you will listen to and you've just wasted everyone's time posting this in AIBU... Next time just start with "only reply if you think I'm right".

Obviously I have wasted peoples time posting this but there have been a few that have agreed with me
My donation to it has come out of the children's child benefit money so I am annoyed that they didn't get to take part and annoyed that I have lost a chunk of money that I do need

If you signed up for Race for Life or the Great North Run, or whatever and then raised money via justgiving. And then didn't get to the start line at the right time. Would you ask for the money back from JustGiving?

Christ on a bike. If I got relatives who weren’t well off to scrape together their precious few quid for a fundraising drive I’d feel crappy too OP. Why on earth did you donate so much and encourage relatives who weren’t well off to do the same, instead of putting in a couple of quid between you for each DC??? Madness.

Why fucking give it if you needed it???? ‘Makes no bloody sense only show show off how much your kids raised! Ridiculous

You haven’t lost money though. You donated to charity. The charity has the money. You would be an utter dick to ask for this money back.

Sounds like they probably would to be fair.

That’s not quite the same thing. Op understood that her children would be taking part in the event. Its not her fault they didn’t participate.

You're entirely correct in your thinking OP

I'd probably stop short of asking for the money back. But I'd ask for an explanation as to why the timings weren't given, why they just took the money knowing your children wouldn't take part and I'd express my disappointment as it's just not good enough really

My donation to it has come out of the children's child benefit money so I am annoyed that they didn't get to take part and annoyed that I have lost a chunk of money that I do need

You say this as if the nursery forced you to do so. You could have donated a pound and the nursery would have been just as appreciative. The fact you chose to donate money you didn't have and get relatives to do the same is your fault not the nurseries.

And yes its my fault for donating so much but I was happy to as I thought it was my children to take part, my children aren't particularly happy to walk anywhere so I knew it was a challenge for them.
We've had the forms for about 3 weeks so I made it clear to family we didn't expect anything, times are hard for our whole family and myself but we knew the girls would have a challenge to do it.
Yes it sounds awful thay I've asked family who weren't in a position to give anything but again it was a once off, my son has been in school for 4 years and has never done any sponsored activities so it's not like it's a regular thing and that's why I asked.

The only person here you should be annoyed with is yourself for giving more than you can afford to somewhere you know you're leaving anyway. Madness
And worse that you strong armed your family to do the same

X post

YABU

There must have been a time stated at some point otherwise, how did everyone else manage to all gather at the same time.

A few of your posts state “my money” it is not your money, you were raising money for a charity.

finally, you say that your family members struggled to raise the money and it took one a couple of days to gather £5. Why are you asking people with little money to spare to sponsors your young kids?

sounds like you were hyping this it so much and now you cocked up with the timings you want to return the cash to make up for your errors.

Sounds to me like you’ve over committed yourself donation wise and now you’re trying to think of a way to claw it back. As others have said too there is nothing to stop you doing the walk with them if it’s the deception thing you’re worried about rather than the actual money.

yes.

I didn't cock anything up, I was 1000000% never told the event was happening in the morning. No emails, no letters home nothing. My children don't attend until the afternoon.
Nobody ever said it was happening at x time otherwise I would have asked if it was okay for my children to attend and I'll take them home again until their nursery time.
The children that took part was obviously children who are there from the morning group. I don't often see other children/parents when dropping my children off for nursery so I'm not sure if other children attend the afternoon session and what they did.
If my children were sick, they wouldn't have gone into nursery and I wouldn't have gave them money. I would have gave it back to everyone who donated
If they really didnt want to do the walk while they are already there, I wouldn't ask for the money back as they at least would have had the chance to go. My girls would have loved it so I'm sure they'd have taken part no bother.

OP it is very poor organisation from the nursery and they should be apologising for the mixup.

However asking family to scrape together money to sponser your kid is not on. You don't actually have to sponsor your kids ans you shouldn't be handing over £75 if money is tight. If you want to sponsor them do £1. It would take nothing away from the achievement if they managed to do the mile. Also why donate so much to a nursery that your leaving soon anyway? The actual walk is just a token activity to justify the fundraising. You've made a donation to the nursery.

😂😂😂

But it's been explained to you. The sponsorship money is for the nursery. The walk doesn't matter - if you want them to do a walk, take them on one.

Your kids won't care either way.

If you & your family couldn't afford the donation, you shouldn't have given it.

I literally only want my money back as my children did not do the walk. I have told one family member so far that they didn't do the walk and they've encouraged me to ask for my money back and they've said if I get it back they'd like it to go back to them
Other family members will definitely be the same.
I did not rail road anybody into donating, I didn't hold a gun to anyone's head. I simply asked. They were happy to oblige as it was the first time my children have ever been asked to do anything like this before.

I also think it's really off that even when I handed the money over, they didn't say "oh we already did the walk but thank you for the contribution" absolutely no mention of it at all

I think the person you are annoyed with is yourself.
You gave money you couldn’t afford and got your family to do the same. £10 in total would have been fine.
You regret giving money you can’t afford to and are now looking for a way to get it back. If you do there will be plenty of talk of “cheeky cunts” at nursery but it won’t be about the Nursery staff

I don't know why but this is really making me laugh 😂

I also think it's really off that even when I handed the money over, they didn't say "oh we already did the walk but thank you for the contribution" absolutely no mention of it at all

No one is disputing the nursery have communicated really poorly.

However, you did not give £75 so that your two small children could do the walk.

You donated to the charity; the walk is just the hook to look for sponsorship & donations.

I'm sorry your family are like this too - imagine them telling you to get the money back & give it to them!

They were either happy to donate or they weren’t. If they were then you have to trust as adults that they gave what they felt they could. If they weren’t happy to donate then maybe they need help putting in appropriate boundaries.

children of this age aren’t motivated by knowing they are sponsored by something because they need immediate gratification and reward. That doesn’t come from “we might get some books in the future”. It’s unfair to say you sponsored them due to it being a big deal for them as your primary motivation.

Chalk it up to “maybe I gave more money than I should have done and now I regret it”. Move on.