AIBU to think my neighbour has lost the plot.

[ActualMadness]

I have name changed for this as having massive problems with my neighbour for various reasons so could be identified. My neighbours are horrible and extremely antisocial but that’s a thread for another time. The man has just come knocking on my door ranting and raving I chose not to answer, so he came to my open kitchen window and started shouting about how we have been constantly racist towards him and his family as well as lots of other accusations and unpleasantness. The reason I think he has lost the plot is that both our families are white British, so putting the fact that nobody in my household is racist to one side for a moment how on earth does he think this is even a possibility. I knew he was crazy but this encounter has cemented it for me, I am just hoping and praying they decide to move soon.

Nobody can possibly answer. Have you been racist?

Theres clearly a massive backstory here, what’s led to this? Why is he accusing you of this?

I suppose it depends on what racism means to him?

Have you informed the police? Is he a homeowner or a tenant?

No we haven’t been racist and I did put in my op that nobody in my household is racist. I have not spoken to these people in over 13 months, I do not leave my house if they are outside since he shoved me one morning when leaving for school and verbally abuse me and the children, we can no longer use our garden for the same reason as he shouts verbal abuse out the bedroom windows. But ignoring all of their horrible and abusive behaviour for a moment as it isn’t relevant here how can he possibly think this when every member of both families are white British?

Have you said or done something that could be construed as racist. How do you know he is white British.

@beeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I have said I have had zero contact with him or any member of his family for 13 months, non of us leave the house if they are out on their drive. If we come home and they are outside we leave and drive around the bloke a few times to avoid them, do no once again I have not said anything racist to him.

I crossed posted with you, so missed the update. How do you know he is white british.

Record him shouting through your window and show it to the police

@beeeeeeeeeeeeeeee also he is white and has an accent that is very identifiable from a certain area of the UK.

its entirely possible to be racist when both families are white. White people can be subjected to racism. I know both a gypsy girl and an Irish girl who have been victims of racism. I am sure there are other examples.

I know people asking if you have been racist, as this sounds unbelievable without a back story. But, I had bat shit crazy neighbours. Shes shout through the wall she could hear me talking about her. I honestly wasn't. She reported to the school I'd took my kids to Syria or somewhere similar on holiday when we'd been to Spain. She called police on me constantly for absolutely nothing. She'd shout over the fence she heard me call her 7 yr old a c*, while the poor girl was crying saying she didn't mum. It was hell. My only advice is report everything!!!

If you've had no contact with him for 13 months then why are you driving round the block to avoid him?

@BlackbirdsSinging That is terrible nobody should be subjected to racism. In this case tho we have had zero contact in over a year as he has consistently been verbally abusive and has pushed me on one occasion so I will do anything to not have to walk past him.

I would call the police if he was threatening you, and I would install a camera. You should have full use of your property.

@WishILivedInThrushGreen because I do not want to pull up on my drive, unload my children and put them through being abused. I will do anything to protect and keep them safe, so to answer your question I do it because I am scared of him. I have gone out of my way to actively avoid him for 13 months since he assaulted me, I am not sure why that is strange.

That sounds very disturbing. I think I would keep a record of his abuse and try and record him shouting at you. He sounds unhinged.

@SallyWD I have a ring doorbell which recorded the whole incident so I will report it in the morning to his housing association. I am so sick of having to live like this, we own our house but would never be able to sell why they still live next door as nobody would buy it after I declare the problems.

Maybe you should get a camera in case he comes back.

Ah, ok.
So he shoved you 13 months ago and you've been avoiding him ever since.

You've said that you haven't spoken since.
Why is he saying , now, that you've been constantly racist?

X post, sorry

It's possible he may have a mental illness such as schizophrenia. Does it look like he leaves the house much, or go to work?

Since this is just the latest of many weird behaviours, I feel safe taking OP at her word that her family hasn't been racist toward her neighbours. 🙄Too many people don't even understand what racism is, so it's used as a catchall "gotcha" accusation to describe behaviour that really isn't racist.

@WishILivedInThrushGreen @Toloveandtowork I am not sure if he has a mental illness or not but I strongly suspect he has substance abuse issues, however that shouldn’t be used as an excuse for his behaviour. The issues started the first month he moved in for absolutely no reason he started hurling abuse and it has just progressively got worse since then and it hit the low 13-14 months ago when I contacted social services as I had serious concerns about the safety of the women and child. I didn’t know they already had a social worker at the time or I would never have reported it, to this day I regret my discussion. It nearly came to blows with dh and him when he shoved me and verbally abused both myself and our children so now I avoid them at all costs so another unpleasant situation doesn’t happen.

Did you report the assault at the time-have you contacted the council

keep a diary of everything he does