AIBU to think my neighbour has lost the plot.

[ActualMadness]

I have name changed for this as having massive problems with my neighbour for various reasons so could be identified. My neighbours are horrible and extremely antisocial but that’s a thread for another time. The man has just come knocking on my door ranting and raving I chose not to answer, so he came to my open kitchen window and started shouting about how we have been constantly racist towards him and his family as well as lots of other accusations and unpleasantness. The reason I think he has lost the plot is that both our families are white British, so putting the fact that nobody in my household is racist to one side for a moment how on earth does he think this is even a possibility. I knew he was crazy but this encounter has cemented it for me, I am just hoping and praying they decide to move soon.

@carefullycourageous bloody hell your like an annoying fly buzzing around my head and I can't get rid of!

Your just repeating the same thing and nobody is actually paying any attention.

Have day off

He sounds confused about what racism means - he probably means that you're being prejudiced or discriminating.

Well you just paid me some attention...

My point is being made.

The woman in that house must be terrified of him. I don’t want to worry you but I did watch a nightmare neighbour next door show where this couple invited a neighbour over and the man attacked and killed her. I may be wrong but he may have actually set fire to her. It was dreadful anyway. Obviously that isn’t like your case but if they had a blazing row, I don’t think that it’s too much of a leap to be concerned that you’d pay for it somehow. Something obviously set him off tonight. You need to report everything.

With any luck, if domestic abuse is occurring then he may get moved on by the authorities whether the woman he lives with wants him to or not.

I wouldn’t worry too much about renting your home out. He may be entirely different to somebody new moving in. He seems obsessed with your family. It may be worth the risk in the meantime. Good luck with it all, it sounds miserable for you.

I think if the police said that he must be mentally ill. I'd be moving my children away from there, you'll just be wasting your time and energy getting anything done about him.
Put all your energy in getting a fresh start for your family, onwards and upwards.

Can I suggest that you pursue the HA and their lack of action legally. The tenant would have signed a tenancy agreement and one of those clauses would be about their conduct with neighbours, antisocial behaviour etc. Ask the HA to have a copy of their standard tenancy agreements, pop into a solicitor with it and your video recording, and get them to write to the HA to make them do something.

I'd further suggest that you find out the details of the committee board members (usually available on their website) and write to them directly also. Find out who the Housing Officer is for this tenant and annoy the hell out of them until they do something. In short, do not take no for an answer, and make an almighty fuss. This is no way for you or your children to have to live - so change that. Fight back.

You could also look at reporting and complaining about the HA's lack of action to the Housing Ombudsman
www.housing-ombudsman.org.uk/useful-tools/fact-sheets/which-ombudsman-for-social-housing-complaints/#:~:text=The%20Housing%20Ombudsman%20continues%20to,their%20statutory%20duties%20in%20homelessness.

Just to add to my last message, you really should look at speaking with a solicitor about this, and seek damages from the HA.

This is affecting your quality of life, arguably the development and safety of your children, and the re-sell value of your property also. Get a solicitor on it - it'll be worth the money paying out for it (look at your home insurance policy for any legal services you may have taken out, which may well cover this).

Report him to the police. They probably know about him already. Even if he has mental health issues, he is not allowed to abuse you and your family. Every time, he shouts at you, phone the pice. They will have to take action as you have children.

I think you are right that the issues may cause problems selling. In which case you may as well pursue your legal options.

Get everything reported, see the police, council, MP and HA. Ask your councillor to ask the HA to investigate. Ask other neighbours to report too if he does anything to them.

The OP has said this man is white British, so as far as she is concerned that's what he is, and she herself is also white British.
So she's baffled as to why he is calling her a racist. (Which she absolutely denies she is anyway.
If this man is in fact not white but looks white she obviously has no knowledge of his heritage. So again, why would she make racist remarks to him?

And she stated more than once she has had no contact with him for over a year and has been very careful to avoid him as she's frightened of him.
With good reason - he has actually assaulted her.
His accusations of racism look like calculated mud slinging in the knowledge that it's a very serious charge to make - and mud sticks, as can be seen by some of the replies on here.

Go to your local councillor and MP too.

It is because OP has quite clearly said she is not being racist to him.

A woman is being harassed and you are derailing the thread.

It is not derailing to discuss something the op themselves brought up. It is a little bit odd to assume someone's ethnic background.

The OP would be well advised to drop the 'white British' stuff. If the man is not white British and the OP brings that up as a reason she has done nothing wrong, it will not help her.

Clearly this man is off the scale in terms of behaviour. The OP needs to be organised in the response. It is the only chance of getting it sorted.

To answer a very questions. We are not the only household to be having issues with this man, we live on a small mews consisting of 8 houses within a much larger new build development. Every single house has complained about his behaviour multiple times over the last few years and apart from writing him a letter the HA do nothing, as I have said before the letters piss him off more and we all pay for it for several weeks after. There seriously must be 100’s of complaints at this point, all houses have invested in ring doorbell’s or cctv as we are all worried about what might happen next.

This morning I have contacted the person I have been dealing with at the HA and asked for a meeting to go over all evidence and suggested they invite other residents along. If this doesn’t get me anywhere I will be contacting a solicitor and going down the legal route as I just can’t live like this forever more. His accusations of racism are just another example of how unstable his behaviour is because I have actively avoided this family for over a year at this point, only contact we have had is when he has turned up at my door or window shouting abuse, I never open the door and if the window is open I close it and the blinds.

As well as the consistent shouting there is lots of examples of other antisocial behaviour like fighting in the street. (People that have visited his home) Loud music at all hours, drug use outside the property, parties that get out of hand, loud arguments that sound physical at times and I could go on and on and on.

If lots of residents have complained I advise you go together to your MP and Councillor. Try to do things as a group.

I would not ask the HA to invite other residents - they are unlikely to - you need to organise it and then go together with a request for a meeting. You are better going in two weeks very well prepared than going this week in a bit of a muddle.

I know you are at the end of your tether and presumably genuinely frightened but you need to be logical and approach this systematically. Have you got detailed timeline/diary of problems?

Look to community trigger too for your area. See if you have met the threshold.

This is a good idea - and if you have not met the trigger yet, you should be able to meet it quickly as you are unlikely to be short of incidents to report

asbhelp.co.uk/community-trigger/

Sometimes the people who suffer ASB for the longest time are a bit on and off with their reporting etc.

Definitely hassle until action is taken.

Don't waste your money on trying to sur the HA as the HA won't be liable. You are more likely to get money via the housing ombudsman route.

Its very difficult to take action against tenants who's behaviour is due to a mental illness - if he does have one.

Ask the HA in writing if they will buy your house as the situation is intolerable. Or try and sell to a landlord.

But keep pushing for action.

Scottish? It is actually possible to be racist toward another white person from the UK. There are documented cases of people being charged with hate crimes in Scotland for using 'English' as part of an insult, like, 'you stupid english git, etc etc. So yeah, if you've remarked about his welsh/scottish or Irish roots, he could be correct.

She has already said she has not said anything racist to him. He's the one causing her grief, she is the victim!

I have not said or done anything racist to this man or his family. I have actively avoided him for over a year at this point, including not allowing the children to play out in the back garden, it is now used solely for drying washing on the line and I generally set an alarm to hang it out at 4:30am as that is usually a safe time because he fizzles down and goes to bed between 3-4am most days. I don’t think I could possibly do much more to avoid this man if I try.

I did not say the OP had said anything racist to the protagonist, but the OP has decided this person is white British when she knows nothing of the sort.

Making assumptions about race is never wise, was my point.

I can't believe the pp's on here who are more interested in trying to prove the OP is racist because the abusive druggie next door said so than actually address the fact that OP's dc have to live next door to this shithead.