Racist message in group chat WWYD?

[Thebeastofsleep]

DH, not me. Is in a group chat for an up coming stag group. DH only knows he stag and no other attendees/ group members. One group member has been posting 'banter' in the chat - memes, videos etc. Most of these have been fairly normal fodder, some slightly offensive. No one in the group has reciprocated/ commented on these but he keeps doing it. Stag has commented that its a group to plan the stag do, not a jokes thread and tried to get it back on track. Now the same person has posted an overtly racist video. Its shocking. DH is absolutely outraged.

WWYD:

1. comment that the video is completely in appropriate and leave the group and not attend the stag do.
2. comment that the video is completely inappropriate and leave group but still attend the do.
3. comment as above but stay in the group and attend.
4. say nothing, leave the group.
5. say nothing, act like it didn't happen.

DH is erring on 1 at the moment but he has no idea who this person is in relation to the stag/ rest of the group other than he isn't the best man.

This is a thread about racism. Go start your own thread

misandry/misogyny/racism/homophobia....it's all the bloody same. I've heard alot of predjudice comments against the Americans also on mn as off late.

I agree. But by beigning it in to a racism thread you will get a backlash, as above.what you have to realise is misandry will always be whataboutery, but misogyny is always okay to mention. Sadly been the way for years, many posters have internalised misandry, it wont he long until you get a 'poor menz'

The stag is still in the group chat and only a couple of people have left the group.

He should have been chucked out.

Why are you so determined to defend racists and their enablers?

Never ceases to amaze me what passes for humour in groups of men

and here we have a classic example of misandry. Next time a woman on any thread acts like a moron or says something racist etc let's see how a

''Never ceases to amaze me what passes for humour in groups of women'' would go down. 1 man said it-should all men be blamed???

I'm not defending him in the slightest.

Why are you so bloody aggressive? Did you even read what I wrote?

Do you actually behave like this IRL? stomping about telling people what to do when it's got nothing to do with you?

You're aggrieved by someone questioning the humour in a whatsapp chat where a man has been racist.

As I said, incel sites are thataway >>>

If you read very carefully, I said you domt know what the stag has done in real life. Social media isnt real life. By focusing o WhatsApp you are missing the point. But people like you always do, because they're so narrow minded and right.

Your comment wasnt true or funny the first time so I dont know why yoire repeating it.

Shes right

You're aggrieved by someone questioning the humour in a whatsapp chat where a man has been racist

no I'm aggrieved by one man's actions are used to paint the behaviour of all men. Many threads on mn are about racist/sexist/homphobic comments/jokes made by females as well. Nobody would dare blame all women for the actions of one.

Misandry is as bad as racism. I speak as the mother of sons and find it offensive males get a bashing on here.

3! Racism should never ever be tolerated!

I wouldn't not attend the stag as it isn't the stag that's the issue and he can't control this person.

I'd definitely reply that the video was disgusting and inappropriate.

Probably 3 and maybe talk to the stag - he may well remove the bloke from the group instead.

How am I being aggressive?

I haven't sworn at you, you keepYou're the one telling me to 'bloody' do this and 'bloody' do that.

Wow that's not even a terrible joke that's just... pure unadulterated white supremacy. Vile.

Let's us not kid ourselves that you give one shiny shit about racism

You must be on a different site to me. A poster only has to mention an issue with a man and the MRA and their sympathisers are all over it with their whataboutery/women do it too/it'd be different if it was a man...with tedious predictability.
I have heard that some even use threads about racism to shoe horn in their agenda. But I'm sure not even the most ardent supporter of men could think that a video laughing at shooting POC and a few LTB posts on MN were comparable.

Well there's no way I'd go to a stag do with someone who thinks that's an appropriate 'joke' and a bunch of other people who won't challenge him. Asking for trouble. Drink will not make him more tolerant.

I wouldn't not attend the stag as it isn't the stag that's the issue and he can't control this person

this, the people saying they wouldn't attend are a bit ott.

If you think its all the same you should really educate yourself. Once you start, you will likely come across the concepts of privilege and power. After that, I think the penny might drop.

If you think its all the same you should really educate yourself. Once you start, you will likely come across the concepts of privilege and power. After that, I think the penny might drop

oh yes I forgot that all white men live in Notting Hill mansions.

So white privilege doesn't exist then?

I think he should leave the group, have a word with the stag ( already done by the sound of it ), and not go to the stag do if this person is going.

I'm wondering why the racist is still invited to the stag do and wedding though, what possible justification is there for that?

As someone has pointed out, a load of booze at both occasions is hardly going to make them more tolerant. both the stag do and the wedding could be a disaster with this moron attending.

So white privilege doesn't exist then

ofcourse it does but by mn logic every white man lives in a mansion, has a high profile job, has millions in the bank and lives like a Hollywood star.

You never ever see poor white men or those living um normal lives or living on minimum wage etc.

Misandry is as bad as racism

It really isn't...for so many reasons which I can't be bothered to explain and which would no doubt be lost on you anyway

You're successfully me-railing a thread about dealing with a racist incident.

Please, you've made your point clear now.

This is exactly what people mean when they mention whataboutery.

You can start a discussion on a thread of your own and people can discuss misandry.

What you're doing is the equivalent of walking up to someone fundraising for breast cancer research and saying "oh so you don't care about liver cancer then?"

It's not constructive and it is unfortunately representative of the whataboutery that happens a lot in discussions about racism.

This is exactly what people mean when they mention whataboutery

it's not about whataboutery though, it's asking people here acting so high and mighty to have the same approach to all intolerance they see. You can't pick and choose.