To believe sports day should be optional?

[SafeHeaven]

Dd is starting to worry about sports day, she hates it every year and always comes last.

She hates all the parents watching her whilst she struggles with the sack etc and always has tears when everyone has finished and she still has a way to go.

Ive asked the school if sports day can be optional as it’s not worth the anxiety leading up to it and the humiliation of it. I’ve been told they have never been asked this before and they will need to discuss it with SLT.

Listening to the radio the other day, many people have bad memories of it.

AIBU to request sports day is optional?

"Whilst ours do celebrate academic achievements, it’s a primary school so there are no sports teams at school, this stuff doesn’t happen. PE isn’t competitive, it’s team based or stuff like swimming or dance, nobody is celebrated for being good at PE."

Not all primary schools are like this. My kid's primary schools used to go off and compete against other local primary schools. There were opportunities to compete in: athletics, cross country, swimming races, gymnastics, tennis as well as team games such as football and netball. One of my daughters even competed in archery once, it was organised by the local secondary school and all the children who competed got a Sainsburys school games medal (so I assume it was a national thing?) As we live rurally, this was against the other primary schools in the local villages, and if you won you went on to district sports in the local town (competing against all the winners from other primary schools in the county / area). They do similar in the big town near us (different county)

On that grounds. Yeah I think sports day should be optional. I don't think everyone should be forced to watch the ritual humiliation of the non sporty, when we can develop those who are sporty through area / district sports. This was optional and parents got to go and watch. Much better as children were competing for their school, so everyone cheered on the other children from their school. Those who went, had kudos especially when they came back with medals. So the sporty kids had real opportunity to genuinely feel good.

One of my children was sporty and competitive and would go most years. The other was not and had a nice day back at school.

So much better imho - optional, but also real achievement and celebration for the sporty. Covered a range of sports too, so not just your traditional sports. Which all too often isolates girls.

OP in your scenario- let your daughter have the day off school. My mum always let me be sick on sports day, and I was so thankful I escaped that humiliation every year. It was bad enough always being the person no one wanted on their team in sports reasons, without having to be humiliated in front of the parents too.

At the very least if they don't compete they should be helping/doing extra homework, certainly not lounging about at home.

That would be better, but unfortunately a lot of the current models don't allow for that. If schools don't provide an alternative option then the only safe way to opt your child out is to keep them off. This is why optional sports day would be better than compulsory participation.

We are in the midst of an obesity epidemic yes, and that's come about in a culture where most children have been obliged to participate in sports day. With that in mind, it's a logic fail to imagine that 'just get on with it' is going to do anything to address it. We need more inclusive ways to get more children exercising, not to cling onto something that has failed to prove value so far.

I don't think it should be optional but it should be handled sensitively. Thought our school did it well for the infants - all races were in teams, races were decided beforehand for each pupil and agreed with them, eg, my sons friend didn't want to do the sack race to switched to a different one, parents not allowed to clap until the end. It's just supposed to be fun really, my sons school is very competitive at sport in general but I didn't feel it was competitive at all.

So are you saying me being humilated in front of your peers (whom you spend five days a week with) for every week in juniors when we had to stand up to spell out words or recite the times tables (and failing miserably) is not as bad compared to your child having to compete in the annual sports day?

yabu

sports day is about more than physical activities.

I agree about the parents though. dc school stopped parents attending and dc report that the day is a lot more relaxes and fun.

But no one gives a shit if my mental health is suffered went I have to recite the times tables in front of the whole class? If I am up there struggling, other children will judge me for being less academically able. And children who struggle academically get the support they deserve (in state education anyway).

It really is double standards that children who do not like sport get to 'opt out' but children who struggle academically have a 13 year education of constantly being behind the ape ball.

*do not get the academic support

It really is double standards that children who do not like sport get to 'opt out' but children who struggle academically have a 13 year education of constantly being behind the ape ball.

Well yes, because we live in a society where not being in education is liable to be much more detrimental to a child than not doing sports day. We need to do better at education for dyslexic DC, and better at getting all kids exercising than our current models for sports days.

Yes it should be optional.

No other subject are you forced to perform in front of not only your own class or year group but also in front of the entire school, all of the staff and multiple parents.

Those saying they’re dyslexic and don’t like English or Maths and this was their only option to shine, can’t comprehend how difficult it is for students who feel the opposite.
If they’re unhappy about doing maths and English work in a class of 30 - imagine how it feels going it front of all the other students and parents.

I think everyone should be there to cheer on their classmates and I think everyone should be encouraged to take part even if it’s in the egg and spoon race but they should no way be forced.

It's not a bigger achievement to beat more people. It is still the same achievement - best in class / year or whatever.

In the Olympics the 100m final only contains 8 runners. That doesn't make it less of an achievement for the inner.

Your well coordinated child beating my dyspraxic one is not an achievement.

But no one gives a shit if my mental health is suffered went I have to recite the times tables in front of the whole class?

Imagine reciting your times tables in assembly with the entire school watching you and throw in a few hundred parents too.

Totally agree with this.
Non academic children feel inferior potentially every single school day, yet sports day is literally once a year.

You need to approach this very differently with your dd!

Oh yes I can, its fucking one day a year? For children who are dyslexic its 30 odd weeks a year (for six years) in front of children who bully you and take the piss because they see you as 'dumb' as you cant do basic long division. You will never see these parents again, they dont bully you if you come last in the egg n spoon race.

This is my point of view. My daughter is shit at sports day but awesome at maths, reading and spelling.

I always point this out to her and remind her other kids must feel like this every other school day!

I don't think parents need to watch though. If it's educational and time to shine for non academic kids why do we need to watch it? We don't watch my daughter doing her spellings 🤷🏻‍♀️

Exactly this. One infant school I know set up a circuit with different activities. Everyone took part, but because you were working towards a team score ( and teams had been very carefully picked to include a range of sporty/ non sporty in each team) it didnt matter what your individual score was. Everyone participated and everyone got a prize sticker at the end, and the winning team who eventually amassed the most team points got a clap in assembly. It did take a lot of organising, and some borrowed Y6 bodies from the next door junior school.

This really shouldn't turn into a sporty kids getting chance to shine v clever kids getting chance to shine discussion, because that ignores the fact that being bad at one doesn't mean you'll be good at the other. There are dyslexic DC who will also be humiliated at sports day, and people who are top of the class and win all the races. People are often very keen on the idea that it somehow balances out. It does not.

Sports day was the only day I felt good about myself, but by making it optional, it would devalue my achievements

Because those poor at sport would pull out? If you were good at sport you'd have also had the chance to excel in the athletics or sports teams or out of school in that field?

Moving on to secondary, my eldest has severe anxiety. She's worked her arse off this year at her GCSE subjects in spite of this and at this very moment is attempting to do a French speaking assessment for the 3rd time as she hasn't been able to speak the last 2 times.

Although she's fine at sports she doesn't want the whole school watching and Because of her issues this year (year 10) I will be keeping her off on sports day unless they agree she doesn't have to participate. It's just not necessary, she does a sport outside of school where she feels comfortable and has accomplished great things.