To believe sports day should be optional?

[SafeHeaven]

Dd is starting to worry about sports day, she hates it every year and always comes last.

She hates all the parents watching her whilst she struggles with the sack etc and always has tears when everyone has finished and she still has a way to go.

Ive asked the school if sports day can be optional as it’s not worth the anxiety leading up to it and the humiliation of it. I’ve been told they have never been asked this before and they will need to discuss it with SLT.

Listening to the radio the other day, many people have bad memories of it.

AIBU to request sports day is optional?

A great many people are put off numeracy by maths, should that be optional too?

Just book a dentist appointment check up for in the morning.

What goes on at your school's sports day @caringcarer 😁

I don't think it should be optional. Just opting out of things we're not perfect at straight away isn't healthy.

I do think schools can (and I'm sure many do including my children's) find ways around making it more inclusive in the same way that the child who couldn't read wouldn't have a major speaking role in a school play but could dance/do props etc.

Yes I get that is an issue, but my point still stands, why should children who are talented at sports be robbed of the chance to do something they are good at because others are not?

I remember at school, having to stand up in the classroom and spell out words, and failing miserably. How is that any different to running in a sack race / relay in front of your peers?

By making it optional is taking away the one day a year that several children thrive who struggle throughout the year. I use to better than some of my class mates on sports day, and y'know what it felt good.

But nowadays they are not made to take part in humiliating public competitions. Years ago, pupils' marks were read out to the class, and everyone was told who had failed or done badly in exams. This is now seen as bad practice. The OP is not proposing making PE optional, just sports day,

You won’t be the only parent feeling this way, but it sounds like rather than pushing to make it optional you need to push the school to review how it’s organised. When I was in primary, all the races were streamed so children of similar abilities raced together, and children who were utterly hopeless at some things were entered into the things they were better at.

Girls are generally far more reluctant to participate when it comes to sport in the first place, and I don’t think it’s a positive thing to encourage a system which will therefore ultimately facilitate mainly girls to opt out rather than encourage them towards sports and exercise they are good at or enjoy.

Doing numeracy in maths is not the same as sports day. Children who struggle with numeracy are given support,differentiated activities and help with weaknesses. Ideally this should be provided for those that struggle in PE during PE lessons but it isn’t. Sports day is a separate issue as there are no compulsory maths test days in full view of the school and parents.

It absolutely should be optional.Learn from my mistake op. I forced Dd to attend them all and now deeply regret it. It was wrong and if I had my time again I’d just take the day off doing something active.

I don't think you can compare sports day with academics. You aren't being watched by loads of people, including adults, and forced to complete maths questions in a timed competition with others.
I was bullied at school, for my weight amongst other things. I too dreaded sports day. It was humiliating. Nor did I want to sit and cheer on the very people who were tormenting me.
OP if school refuses, maybe keep her home that day and do something nice together instead.

I hated PE at school as I was always the fat awkward one (in my eyes at least)
sports day was ok because at primary we did things like egg and spoon - obstacle races - throwing bean bags etc plus traditional running as long as you could choose what you did it was fine
it was all about team points and quite inclusive
At high school we still had sports day for house points by then I’d discovered although I was terrible at running I could hit and throw things so opted for javelin discus shot put and racquet sports
i would talk to school and see how you can work together to help your DD

oh FFS, my self esteemed was massively impacted by my inability to do what many others in my class could achieve. But I still turned up to school.

Can you really compare one day a year to the other 30 odd weeks in the year where less academically able children struggle.

FlatWhiteLover

No kid’s mental health should be sacrificed to make somebody else feel better. As I said complain if school are running compulsory maths tests in front of the whole school and parents. They’re not though are they.

My Dd struggled every day in every lesson in every subject. Still doesn’t give anybody the right to insist on her public humiliation in front of the whole schools and parents to make others feel better.

Just take her out for the day op, there is nothing they can do.

Yanbu. Would make it easier for children with SEND to not be forced to participate and end up hurting themselves

I'd keep her off if they won't allow her to sit out. I'm 53, and still have horrible memories of sorts days. In fact when it got to secondary school I 'opted out' myself.

Ok, if you have a child whose feeling satisfied because they can complete the maths task at a faster rate compared to a dyslexic child, the dyslexic child mental health / self esteem will suffer.

The equivalence to doing badly in maths is not sports day, it is a PE lesson.

The sporty kids get a chance to shine in sports teams and inter-school competitions, they don't need a whole school sports day with parents watching.

I think sports days can be managed to not upset the less sporty, but it needs some sensitivity.

I don't think it should be optional, but agree, schools can do more to make it more inclusive. We were reminded at the start of sports day that it was a fun event, the children had designed T shirts with their names on, so everyone could cheer them on, and they did events in teams, so not too much pressure on individual children. Some more traditional running races at the end, but everyone encouraged and celebrated. That was 200 odd infant aged children and they all partipated and no upsets.

They aren’t given exactly the same activities and those struggling will get support on top. A child with dyspraxia will have classroom difficulties too so will be struggling in maths just as much if not more depending on how it presents.

But he wouldn't be deprived if it was optional, would he?

I don’t think it should be optional, kids need to learn as a general rule that they can’t opt out of the hard bits of life (keep reading, I don’t mean your DD), and loads would opt out out of peer pressure too. Or nerves, when actually doing things like sports day can show them that they can achieve things they didn’t expect. However, in extreme cases like this I don’t think there’s anything wrong at all with just not sending her in, or asking her to be excused. Nothing wrong with making occasional exceptions, but generally making it optional would be a mistake in my opinion. If they say no I deff wouldn’t send her in.

"Why is it compulsory for me to watch them playing football? Nobody has to watch and cheer when I do the Maths Olympiad" said my DS. He got a detention for sneaking back to the library. Very fair point.

YABU. Sports day is for some kids, their best chance to shine.

I was dire at sports. I came in last for virtually everything. Hated running especially. But I’m glad we did it. Some of my classmates have made successful careers out of their athletic abilities, and that wouldn’t have happened if they hadn’t had their chance to shine.

certainly it should be low pressure in primary though, with wide enough scope that most kids will find themselves alright at something. I hated everything else but actually really enjoyed long and high jump, even though I wasn’t the best at them.

Well yes and no really. He’s forced to participate in academic school work, knowing he won’t do well but still being compared against his peers. But then some of his peers get to opt out of the thing he’s good at, so he will never be ahead of these kids in anything then. Why can’t he opt out of school work he finds stressful in that case?

But kids struggling with this aren’t opting out of the hard bits of life. They will be turning up to PE 2/3 times a week and coping with gross motor, spatial awareness etc daily.