To believe sports day should be optional?

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Dd is starting to worry about sports day, she hates it every year and always comes last.

She hates all the parents watching her whilst she struggles with the sack etc and always has tears when everyone has finished and she still has a way to go.

Ive asked the school if sports day can be optional as it’s not worth the anxiety leading up to it and the humiliation of it. I’ve been told they have never been asked this before and they will need to discuss it with SLT.

Listening to the radio the other day, many people have bad memories of it.

AIBU to request sports day is optional?

No it should not be optional. Sports is important for children. The obesity epidemic in the UK is killer and children should be encouraged to play sports. It is down to you as parent to teach your child to be a good sport and to have fun, that it's the taking part and not the winning that counts, etc. Not all children are academic and many children feel anxious and tearful due to exams but we can't scrap those!

And let's not pretend that ALL teachers, students and parents watch ALL events.

This is a perfect time to teach your DD resilience OP.

Absolutely agree, I said the same thing a few weeks ago!
My dd (primary) doesn't come last, or first, she's not bothered about winning or losing at anything, but she always has absolute anxiety over sports day!
I've always talked to her, encouraged, reassured her etc and she has had no choice but to do it each year, but her personality becomes very sad and withdrawn on the lead up & for a while afterwards.
This year, I told her dad I'm not making her do it anymore. The strain on her mental health is not worth it. I called her in sick and we went out for the day, lovely weather, happy child.

Yes, the once out there they have a good time bit is an invention. Made up because the person claiming it wants it to be true.

While it's true that nothing else at school is optional, people would be furious if their child who was bad at maths was forced to compete at maths in front of the whole school plus parents. This just wouldn't happen. But if you're bad at sport it's somehow character building to be forced into a competitive event.

The only other activity I think sports day is comparable to is school assemblies- performing in front of people, kids get nervous etc. At DDs school all the kids are expected to perform in assemblies, it's seen as an opportunity to build confidence and as a result a lot of support is put in place for the kids who are anxious about it, space to practice and encouragement. Perhaps attitudes towards sports days could be similar with better encouragement given in weekly PE lessons

My son is autistic and hates Change of routine. This week they have an enrichment week which he is hating but I am encouraging him to take part in, or at least try, everything because the activities are generally ones good for his personal development.

Friday is sports day. If he goes into school at all he won’t take part and after a rough week he isn’t going to be forced!

No-one is saying sport should be optional. Just sports day - one event in the school year.

No-one has to perform exams in front of a large audience.

I hated sports day - total humiliation doing something I hated and was really struggling with whilst being watched by the whole school. It does not build resilience - I still cringe at eh memories decades after leaving school

No other subject in school is 'performed' in such a public way. I get that some children struggle in maths, spelling etc - but they don't have their weaknesses and fears on show to an audience of hundreds.

I am a very fit and active adult. I walk miles every day. I love to swim in a non competative, leisurley way. Hating sports day and being unfit for life do not automatically go hand in hand.

Compulsary sports day events should be banned. It is also bloody boring watching the PE mad kids show off all day as an audience. I never expected them to sit there bored and cheer while I did well in the subjects I was good in.

I think this is one of the areas where class reps, the PTA and the governing Board - and parents generally, either by joining one of the above or pushing for them to consider - have a role to play in making the physical curriculum more diverse. I can’t believe, for example, that in a primary school with perhaps 30 core staff, most of them youngish and female, not one of them will practice yoga as a hobby and be prepared to lead on that for PE curriculum.

I temporarily went to a state school some 20-30 years ago. Mr B and Mrs G taught PE in the inner city, deprived state school.
They managed to get everyone willingly to engage with PE, they were both great. The girls lessons ranged from workout routines and trampolining, once a contemporary dance thing. They'd also organise volunteer coaches to come in and take a class. Some people managed to have professional careers in rugby spotted at inter school competitions.

Sports day participation was optional.

A similar feeder primary school, in a deprived area had a huge sports ethos. Gymnastics particularly, as the teacher had some connections. Athletics too, and some of those children excelled out of school nationally, and passed that on to their own children (those I kept in touch with on social media) with them joining sports clubs pre school. In the primary it wasn't compulsory to join in sports day. Instead the four 'houses' (school was divided into four house colours and points would be given for many things, academic and non) competed for house points.

Lot of waffle there but I remember how well it was done. I think the schools were progressive for their time. Down to good teachers who managed to foster a life long love of some sport in a lot of the children, which was passed on to their own.

A fee

If you think this is how you teach resilience, clearly you don't understand what resilience is.

Resilience =/= 'forcing yourself to do essentially pointless things because someone else thinks it is character building'

No it should not be optional. Sports is important for children. The obesity epidemic in the UK is killer and children should be encouraged to play sports.

It is precisely because sport is important for children and children of all abilities should be encouraged to play sport that sports day should be optional. The children who struggle most during sports day and are most likely to be publicly humiliated are, in many cases, those who need to be gently encouraged to find a sport or activity which they enjoy. Compulsory sports day is often entirely counter-productive to achieving this. I would go as far as saying that, when done badly, it represents all that is wrong with PE teaching in our schools and is part of what puts children off team sports and exercise later on in life.

That word should be banned in my view. It seems to = accepting humiliation.

Sport is important, but I think there are better and more creative ways of getting kids to do it. There was another thread on here about someone complaining that their dd's school used heats and only the qualifiers competed at sports day. That is a good way of getting round the issue in my view - everyone has to take part and if they want to "show off" at sports day they need to qualify. That does mean that you might have a few kids who enjoy racing but aren't very good at it, you could have exhibition events for the ones who want to race but didn't qualify for the main events.

The other kids can help run the event like holding the finishing tape or handing out medals.

Sport at school should be about encouraging participation and exercise. We have an obesity crisis and forcing exercise is not the answer. Excluding kids is also not the answer.

I know where you are coming from OP. DS is autistic and has the motor skills that go with it.
For some kids school is very tough academically and sports day is their day to shine. From a very young age I have reminded my son of his many strengths and that it’s perfectly normal not to be good at everything.
The worst sports day was the one day ex bothered to show up where he made a big deal of DS winning. DS was so upset that day.
The ice cream truck comes to the school on sports day and tbh it’s all that any of the kids seem to remember about sports day.
There is probably ways of making it better for the non sporty kids.

Yes I saw the thread about parent complaining child wasn’t in sports day (as hadn’t won heats) so it’s hard for schools who will be moaned at whatever they do.
To me only putting the fastest children in race seems sensible but that mum was annoyed she’d booked time off work.

DD’s secondary PE has been poor as she’s not sporty. From what I can tell the bottom group are left to their own devices. She’s fit - dances several hours a week at high level and goes to the gym regularly but not sporty.
School did take them to the gym for 6 weeks in yr 11 at local leisure centre which I thought was good to get them used to what was on offer there. We did yoga with our girl guides and that was a big hit and again something girls more likely to carry on with. I think schools should focus more on a range of options rather than team sports and competitive races lots hate.

The obesity epidemic in the UK is killer and children should be encouraged to play sports

Kids do PE lessons and get exercise other ways, walking, cycling, swimming etc., without the necessity of humiliation, which is s surefire way of putting some kids off sports for life!

It's so weird that people identify the obesity epidemic and sedentary lifestyles as a worry, but think the best way to tackle this is by doubling down on the same culture that failed to prevent any of that happening in the first place.