To ask how many of you are actually happily married

[Strugglingtocopewithmarriage]

Meaning you genuinely like your partner, would marry then again given the chance, enjoy spending time with them...

Me too

We've been married for 33 years and we have phases of yes and no

Yep, 18 years and he still makes me laugh. He’s the love of my life

Me. 5 years together, 3 married. I still get excited to see him when he comes home from work

I've been DH for 18 years. I absolutely still fancy him and we are Friends. I feel so lucky as had a few crap relationships before him. I love him a lot and he does me.

I'm very, very happy. Have been together 12 years.

However, I have had phases where I've fancied other people - but those feelings have generally gone after a month or so (or I got to know the other person and realised they're a bit annoying). I've always fancied my OH as well at the same time. I think having crushes/being attracted to other people is pretty normal even when you adore your partner.

But yes, I'd marry him again in a heartbeat. He's my best friend.

@Strugglingtocopewithmarriage
the way you phrased the op has just basically invited people to comment about their amazing marriages, if you'd have written a post about your issues (small baby and not helpful husband) you would have probably got better replies of support and also suggestions to help make changes. It's tough having a small baby even with a supportive husband who will muck in. I mentioned in my post about being in the fog, I think having a baby can test the strongest of relationships. Pre children we were solid, happy, in love. After having kids we've have rough patches, just because of the relentlessness of it all and having no time to be a couple. We had a running joke about being housemates for a while we were just so busy with kids and work it was like being housemates that share a bed. We know this won't be forever and when we do get moments to be a couple it's like it used to be.

If you don't feel like your husband is pulling his weight this is going to lead to resentment. You need to tell him straight what you want him to do and come up with a fair agreement. For example my husband and I have a lie in each at the weekend. By lie in I mean one of us gets up to get our kids breakfast at 6.30am and the other lies in until 8.30. It's fair though as we both get a day each (Im still breastfeeding in the night so he will sometimes let me have 2 lie ins!). We both have our specific jobs/stuff we do for the children and it works, mostly.

Happily married is probably pushing it, more like satisfactorily married, but he has his moments and the good far outweighs the bad, which is good enough for me.

👋 Me

Nope, I would travel a different path in life. I do love him, just feel like there are other things I would have done.

Today is our 24th wedding anniversary, I'd marry him again in a heartbeat.
We've overcome a lot of challenges which outweighs the good times by a long shot but never wavered in our love, respect and fidelity to one another. We laugh a lot.
We're both exceptionally laid back so the only row we have had is on our honeymoon in Disney carpark.
He doesn't do Christmas or birthday presents,he's not great at picking up his socks but I choose my battles. The bag of crisps when he's been to the filling station on a random day means more than a bunch of flowers because it's valentines day.

Marriage is mundane, it's not all moons in june and hearts and flowers, just two people trying their best to live in harmony with mutual love and respect.

Tough one actually. I love my DH and I know he loves me. We have a pretty good life with similar values and interests and rub along together pretty well most of the time. However I can’t quite shake the feeling that we don’t share a great passion or deep connection and wonder if we have both missed out on something.

I actually think it's very nice to know that some people, at least, have got happy marriages.

I don't think that 'most' people have happy marriages, in terms of always being in love, their spouse being their best friend etc etc. Or not going on my friendship groups, anyway. Most of those seem to be in 'ok-ish' marriages, but wouldn't choose that person again. A surprisingly large proportion have admitted to being in a sexless or near-sexless marriage, too.

For my part- well, clearly I'm not very good at marriage, since I'm twice-divorced. The triumph of optimism over experience, perhaps. But I am very happy in my relationship with DP of 7 years.

He wants to marry me. Would I marry him? I dunno. I don't want to be without him but... Maybe marriage just isn't for everyone..

No. Married for 32 years, married far too young and should really separate. Would love to have a happy marriage, those who have are very lucky.

Very happy after 34 years. We are both elderly (78&86) and a bit infirm but we have never had a real quarrel . We are a blended family and put 5 teenagers aged 13 to 18 together and it worked well. We now share 9 gorgeous dgc. All dc married and happy so far 🤞.

Me, me, me! I'm definitely happily married, I love spending time with my husband and wouldn't hesitate to marry him again.

Agree with PP that your phrasing has attracted the happily married and skewed the balance. Which if you're looking to feel less alone in a challenging situation may not be that helpful. If you'd have asked if anyone was unhappily married you would perhaps have heard more that resonated. Of the marriages I know, very few would answer yes to all your questions all of the time. There is nearly always a level of disappointment and compromises in LTRs, and most people to some extent do a cost/benefit analysis along the way. The high divorce and separation rates give a good indication of the reality.

Yes, I’m happily married.

He does my head in, leaves shit all over the place, doesn’t ‘reign in’ our boys enough (he’ll only step in if they’re physically fighting), he needs a list if he goes to Tesco (even if it’s only for 3 items) and has selective hearing.

Besides all those pointless faults, we get on, have a laugh, made a lovely home, great holidays and he listened to me all weekend as I raged about Roe vs Wade.my best friend ❤️

@Strugglingtocopewithmarriage Yes I am happy. 20 years together. Married for nearly 13 of that. The reason I love him is that he is an utterly utterly equal partner and husband. He took career hits to further my career. He is my biggest cheerleader and has always been. Has always been an equal parent. I never have to ask him to do stuff. He just does what needs doing for the kids. We are in the US and he’s on the school PTA, I am not. I do slightly more of the childcare and cooking. He does everything else- he cleans, he does laundry, he sorts out school stuff, recycling, admin. Whatever needs doing he does it. He took as much paternity leave as he could possibly. He sorted out childcare when I had to go back to work. He’s a feminist and in his case it’s not just words- he lives it.

He’s also messy, stubborn, gets a bee in his bonnet about weird stuff, a fussy eater and quite resistant to change. He’s shy, awkward, doesn’t make friends easily and can be inflexible. He’s also still the smartest, funniest and kindest man I know.

Me too, 22 years, wish we had met sooner.

Been with my husband since I was 19. Married 20 years and wouldn’t want to be with anybody else.

Me. Married my best friend and love them more than the day I married them

Yes, 19 years in. I would marry him again tomorrow. We are definately a case of opposite attracts, but it works, he is a great man.

Me. Met at 17, now 31. Married six years, together 13. 2 beautiful kids, wouldn't change a thing. He's my best friend.

Yes 41 years married this year. Met in 1978.