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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how many of you are actually happily married

259 replies

Strugglingtocopewithmarriage · 26/06/2022 20:36

Meaning you genuinely like your partner, would marry then again given the chance, enjoy spending time with them...

OP posts:
SleepSleepRaveAsleep · 26/06/2022 22:06

I am happy and I love my husband dearly, but we are very much in the fog at the moment with 3 small children, youngest is only 1. I'd marry him again in a flash, I have been in love with him a long time, we met at uni 17 years ago and I couldn't have found anyone better matched. It isn't really about us at the moment though all our time and energy is taken up with our children and work, it's quite relentless, there's no one else I'd want by my side though.

CoffeeWonderful · 26/06/2022 22:07

I’d not choose him again. We’re so different, he’s a good man but not for me now.

ImplementingTheDennisSystem · 26/06/2022 22:09

Me.

TurtlesAndTropicalFish · 26/06/2022 22:09

100%, he’s my soulmate. I feel extremely lucky that my husband is my best friend

Surlybassey · 26/06/2022 22:11

OP you’re clearly struggling and the responses on here will only make you feel worse due to the way you’ve phrased the question - everyone will have reasonably taken your post at face value and most won’t have read your second post hinting at the reason for your question. I’d suggest reposting in relationships with a bit more detail on what the issues are 💐

notanothertakeaway · 26/06/2022 22:11

Together 18 years, married 15

Very happy, we don't argue, just muddle along and find compromises where required

Spabreak · 26/06/2022 22:13

labourlost · 26/06/2022 20:56

No - I feel for you op. My partner does not do enough and it’s left me with massive resentment - he wasn’t like this before at all. I feel sure I’d be happier alone.

This. The resentment has corroded all my feelings for him unfortunately.

Luredbyapomegranate · 26/06/2022 22:16

Yep.

Well partnered, not married, but 14 years in.

We’ve done Ok!

Oddbobbyboo · 26/06/2022 22:18

Nope 👎 he’s a good provider…. That is all.

GrinAndVomit · 26/06/2022 22:18

Me. I absolutely cannot fault him. We’re three kids in.

SnippyF · 26/06/2022 22:18

No. We’ve been together for 12 years and have 2 children. I’m having marriage counciling by myself as he refuses to go even though he is just as unhappy as I am. We basically live separate lives, with separate bedrooms, separate friends. We even parent separately most of the time as we disagree about most things (and he’s constantly on his phone so disengaged with what’s going on around him). I can’t remember the last time he made me laugh (or me him) or I enjoyed spending time with him. I loved him so deeply for such a long time but somewhere over the last 3 years somethings changed. I don’t know how I let my life become so lonely.

dizzydizzydizzy · 26/06/2022 22:19

No . Just realised I am a domestic abuse victim.

TenoringBehind · 26/06/2022 22:19

No but too tricky to leave. Fantasise about it though.

JiminyGlick · 26/06/2022 22:20

Me. Got married at 24. Seems madly young to me now but we’d both had lots of life experiences and partners. We got married after our gap year where we travelled the world together.

Now been married 27 years and it’s all been fabulous.

tobee · 26/06/2022 22:20

Been with my Dh for 35 years this year, but only married for 10.

He's had a lot of medical problems for the last year, life ending without intervention. Currently needs hospital care 3 x a week.

In the early days I spent a lot of time working out the practicalities of living without him. Pretty clear what id do and be ok but it would be totally shit without him.

TheVolturi · 26/06/2022 22:21

Me. Almost 17 years that we have been together and I love him more than ever.

Dahliasandtea · 26/06/2022 22:22

Yes I’m happily married. Nearly 10 years in (12yrs of being together), and 2 kids. He is the best man I know and would definitely marry him again in a heart beat. It’s not all roses all of the time and we have been through our share of difficult times but we are both committed to each other and making our marriage work, have no illusions about ‘happily ever after’ nonsense and we make a choice every day to get up and love each other. Even through the tough times. Honestly I think the best thing about us is our ability to communicate and trust in the other to listen and hear and try to understand. It’s got us through pretty much every hard moment.

SuperIris · 26/06/2022 22:22

Me, I grew up in a messy, damaged family with parent who shouldn't have ever been together. I wanted more for my children.

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 26/06/2022 22:23

We've been married for 20 years and have had far more than our share of travails but we're doing pretty well. We are that couple who happily WFH without being sick of each other.

HeArInGhandsgirl11 · 26/06/2022 22:23

17 years in, love him, hate him, he irritates the shit out of me. Some days I'm happy others I do wonder Why I like him.

Relationships are hard!

My grandma and grandad have been married 65 years, I asked her how have you made it work...

Her answer- my generation, when something is broken we fix it- your generation you just replace it with something new.

Me and my husband fit, we still laugh together, after the dirty looks 🫣

tobee · 26/06/2022 22:24

tobee · 26/06/2022 22:20

Been with my Dh for 35 years this year, but only married for 10.

He's had a lot of medical problems for the last year, life ending without intervention. Currently needs hospital care 3 x a week.

In the early days I spent a lot of time working out the practicalities of living without him. Pretty clear what id do and be ok but it would be totally shit without him.

last 10* years not last year

Christinatherabbit · 26/06/2022 22:24

10 years and he's my best friend and I adore him (as he does me) We have the odd row and things aren't always perfect but I am 'happily' married

ozymandiusking · 26/06/2022 22:25

52 years tomorrow.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 26/06/2022 22:25

Me 100%

TheLostNights · 26/06/2022 22:26

Yes and I think genuinely, most people are very happily married