8 year old up till 4.30 am is unreasonable?

[keepsane]

Just picked up my 8 year old DD from a sleepover at her friend from schools house and it turns out she and her friend were up until 4.30 am. The mum came into the room and said it was time to calm down and go to sleep...at 4.30 am!!

I'm really unhappy, in what world is letting 8 year old girls stay awake till that time unaccompanied may I add as the mum was in her bed, okay? 12 am - fair enough, maybe 1 am at a push if excited but 4.30 am is ridiculous and my DD is knackered.

I don't know whether to text the mum. She certainly won't be back there for a sleepover. AIBU?

OP.....she’s 8. She’s had a sleepover. She stayed up late. Why is this the end of the world? I’m assuming it wasn’t on a school night so why not just let her sleep today?! Also unless she did something disruptive or naughty why is she grounded?

I can remember being 8 and going to a sleepover. Her mum had to separate us in the end (it was 4am when she came in and told her DD off). I had an amazing time!

Wow!

And I don't remember my mum getting worked up about it...

People are being very harsh on the OP. That is very late for an 8 year old. I wouldn't say anything to the other mum though.

I remember being separated at sleepovers too, lol. Definitely normal when I was growing up and it was generally a sign of having an amazing time

In my experience with my children there was one child at the sleepovers who kept everyone else up. If you can identify that one, then you know who to avoid in future.

Your poor little girl
No wonder she was so excited to be away for a night.

Not a chance here. Very happy to host , but kids always asleep at reasonable o’clock. Exception if they camp in garden. I don’t police that. But ours and their friends generally have stuff on the next day, so expectation in our friendship groups is they need sleep.

@keepsane are you going to take on board everyone's comments about your massive over reaction?
Is this a hill worth dying on or are you going to be sensible and choose your battles more wisely?

An afternoon nap might be a better idea.

Op, please can you explain why you’ve grounded your daughter? I’m genuinely interested to see what your reasons for this are.

Grounded?

Also lmao at 'unaccompanied' 🤣

Is this for real or just a Sunday lunchtime wind up?

@keepsane why would you punish your daughter! Kids at sleepovers stay up late, that’s the whole point! If she stayed up past her limits and is now tired then that’s the consequence she has to deal with, just let her have a nap and be done with it all. Absolutely astounded you think you should complain to the mother and punish your DD for very normal behaviour!

Right!

On what planet is it the mum's fault. Mine are older but have had many many sleepovers from that age up - and their sole aim seems to be to stay awake as much as possible.
As a parent you go in, lights out and they settle down and you sleep....then you maybe hear something in the night and realise it's them talking - go in and reprimand as it's very late.
Yes they are tired the next day but that's because they were excited and enjoyed it.
Is the mum meant to stay awake the whole night long? If you complained to me there is no way I'd have your child over again or have mine at yours. Maybe you should reprimand your own child for not sleeping when she should. She's old enough to understand.

I wouldn't be very happy with this tbh, assuming they were up that late and hadn't just woken at that time, as last time my DC had such a poor night's sleep he was a mess for a week. He struggles to catch up and then it affects school and leisure time. If I have a sleepover at mine I expect them to be asleep by 11. I'm sure as he gets older and naturally needs less sleep it will become less of an issue.

I wouldn't say anything though.

Vile. That poor child. Good luck with her Op when she's a teenager.

I tell my kids that they should be respectful of the parents and quieten down after midnight… I presume they will sleep very little though and any sleep hours are a bonus!

Good god what kind of control freak are you?

And now sadly, the lovely memory will be spoiled by having been grounded afterwards. She will be so confused

Agree with (virtually all) pp. I feel really sorry for your little girl. She will have felt so giddy and happy, and now this.

She did nothing wrong.

🙄

Grounded for doing something completely normal? I do hope you're joking as you can clearly see from pp YABU.

Be careful OP starting ridiculously strict and unreasonable like this is likely to cause her to rebel as she gets older. Imagine being punished for just being a kid.

Seriously?? Ffs she was having fun at a sleep over, surely she just goes to bed earlier tonight. Your poor dd.

Don't be a fun sponge.