8 year old up till 4.30 am is unreasonable?

[keepsane]

Just picked up my 8 year old DD from a sleepover at her friend from schools house and it turns out she and her friend were up until 4.30 am. The mum came into the room and said it was time to calm down and go to sleep...at 4.30 am!!

I'm really unhappy, in what world is letting 8 year old girls stay awake till that time unaccompanied may I add as the mum was in her bed, okay? 12 am - fair enough, maybe 1 am at a push if excited but 4.30 am is ridiculous and my DD is knackered.

I don't know whether to text the mum. She certainly won't be back there for a sleepover. AIBU?

DD (she was 8 too) was beside herself the next day, kept bursting into tears and was so drowsy I was scared she'd fall asleep in the bath. It was horrible.

It's probably for the best you kept your DC from going to sleepovers after this. Everyone's tolerance levels are different. I can't get myself worked up about a child being tired.

I agree with this.

There was one adult in the house and they should have laid down the law.

As the parent you can tell them it's time to go to sleep and request they are quiet - you can not order someone to go to sleep on demand!!

I was an awful sleeper as a baby/toddler (I still sleep badly and am disturbed/woken by just about anything!) and DD(now 15) has been an awful sleeper since birth. If I knew the answer to making someone go to sleep I'd have tested it out on myself and DD well before we got to the sleepover stage!

Grounded for having fun? Grounded because you're annoyed she stayed up? Poor child

YABU SO SO SO UNREASONABLE.

DD (she was 8 too) was beside herself the next day, kept bursting into tears and was so drowsy I was scared she'd fall asleep in the bath. It was horrible.

Couldn't you just have let her have a nap, or quickly washed her hair so she could get out again. Even sacked the bath and had a shower the next morning? In what works is being a bit tired 'horrible'?

DD (she was 8 too) was beside herself the next day, kept bursting into tears and was so drowsy I was scared she'd fall asleep in the bath. It was horrible.

Mine would have just gone to bed for an hour or 2.

DD (she was 8 too) was beside herself the next day, kept bursting into tears and was so drowsy I was scared she'd fall asleep in the bath. It was horrible

Give me fucking strength…😂😂

Did you give your daughter expectations of when she needed to sleep? If not i do not think you can ground her. She had no defined boundaries so a firm word of warning for next time is more appropriate in my opinion

I don't know if it's just because I've been in bed all weekend with a rotten head cold but the thought that this little 8 year old girl had a lovely sleepover with a friend, where she was too excited to sleep and has come home to a shitstorm, a grounding and her insane mother possibly about to cause shit with the other Mum has made me feel quite tearful.

Hated sleepovers with a passion when son was younger
Nobody ever slept
Just accepted it for what it was and tried to get them to calm down and keep noise down after certain time
So glad when they came to an end

I agree @ThinkAboutItTomorrow

And 8 is still quite young, even at an exciting sleepover children still need the security of there being an adult in charge. No you can’t force a child to sleep but you can go in as many times as necessary, make sure lights are off, any devices are off or removed and so on. Not just shrug your shoulders and let them do what they like.

Why on EARTH have you grounded your daughter?! It's not even a logical consequence. It makes absolutely no sense.

Classic example of questionable parenting! That poor kid! She didn't do anything wrong and you're grounding her for it?

She's going to grow up to resent you if this is how you respond to things..

Not just shrug your shoulders and let them do what they want

You have no idea if that's what happened.

Er, to those asking she did have a nap. She wasn't dropped at ours until 1pm and hadn't had lunch, so fell asleep at the table. We took her up for a nap and she slept for 3 hours but by 5pm I was worried she wouldn't sleep at night so woke up up. She was sobbing with tiredness after tea.

Went to bed very early.

In retrospect should have skipped the bath.

She was right as rain the next day so no real harm done but she was so miserable I was really cross they had let her stay up all night. Seems irresponsible to me.

@sunglassesonthetable this was a general comment in response to others on here who just accept that’s what happens at sleepovers. Do some parenting, even if it is a special occasion. And as s host I would feel responsible for visiting children to get some sleep (or at least strongly encourage it) so they didn’t feel like death warmed up the next day.

Awaiting a thread from you in 10 years to say your daughter's gone NC and you don't know why

It's fairly par for the course when my kids have gone for sleepovers - although when mine have gone it's usually been to a sibling pair they're friends with as a sibling pair themselves - and DD2 (who is 90% sloth) has just announced she's off to bed by about 8pm - to much horror from the other parents!

Friend knows I'm stricter than her when they're round here - no issues - their house = their rules; my house = my rules.

I'm curious as to how you expected the other mum to get them to sleep! Was she supposed to drug them?? They probably were in bed at a reasonable hour but you can't force kids to sleep! As a child me and my best friend would have loads of sleepovers at each others houses, always in bed early but up whispering until the early hours. It's what kids do. It's one night. Surely your child can just go to bed super early when they get home.

How do you even ground an 8 year old? Presumably they don't go out without a parent anyway?

Grounded? Seriously.

Grounding a child for having some fun.

Yeah of course they do!!!!

Yep, they act like a child and in a childish manner! Then ground them!

Give over OP!

hetable this was a general comment in response to others on here who just accept that’s what happens at sleepovers. Do some parenting, even if it is a special occasion. And as s host I would feel responsible for visiting children to get some sleep (or at least strongly encourage it) so they didn’t feel like death warmed up the next day.

@bendmeoverbackwards

A very general comment which makes those that disagree with you sound careless and unthinking.

Just like you saying "Do some parenting" . Seems like you have a habit of making comments which come across as a superior know all.

And guess what there are posters on here that know their kids possibly even LEARN from feeling like death warmed up the next day. But can definitely take a tired kid in their stride.

This with bells on! My kids stay over and have 'stay overs' and often are still up really late. Depending on how quiet they are, patents can believe they are asleep until they are woken at silly o'clock!