8 year old up till 4.30 am is unreasonable?

[keepsane]

Just picked up my 8 year old DD from a sleepover at her friend from schools house and it turns out she and her friend were up until 4.30 am. The mum came into the room and said it was time to calm down and go to sleep...at 4.30 am!!

I'm really unhappy, in what world is letting 8 year old girls stay awake till that time unaccompanied may I add as the mum was in her bed, okay? 12 am - fair enough, maybe 1 am at a push if excited but 4.30 am is ridiculous and my DD is knackered.

I don't know whether to text the mum. She certainly won't be back there for a sleepover. AIBU?

What did you expect the mother to do, to get your daughter to sleep? Sedate her?
As for them being ‘unaccompanied’ because the mother was in her own bed, again, what did did you expect her to do? drag her mattress into the room?
What you should consider doing is to thank her for having your daughter overnight.

Of course thats ok, its a sleepover!!

Can you imagine, having being kept awake all night, getting a text of complaint from a mother who's had a nice child free evening and a full night's sleep?

😂😂

Thats why this is surely BS.
No one is that batshit to complain about having a child free evening when their child has obviously had lots of fun.

Life is too short to not be able to stay up until late a few times in your life.
She will remember that night for ages if not forever as she stayed up so late chatting to her friend.

Even as an adult I love making those sorts of memories (not sure I could stay up that late) and it’s very rare things like that happen when you grow up so encourage your kids to make the most of it when they’re young.

When my DD has had sleepovers they are always in bed at reasonable hour

But not asleep I'll bet. As for grounding your DD, for what??? Having a good time with a friend? Wait until you get to the teenage years, there may come a time when staying up until 4.30am will seem like a picnic in terms of "bad-things-my-child-has-done"

Please don't text to complain - you will sound insane!
Completely normal for so called sleepovers
If this upsets you, the next 10 Years are going to be rocky !

At 8 I would probably ecourage sleep a bit earlier for my own sanity. I think midnight was when I'd encourage them t9 calm down but by 12 it's more like 2am. I like them to be asleep so I can sleep. My son went to sleepover once the day before we were booked to do a really expensive one off activity. I said I didn't think ds would be able to go because he would be too tired for expensive activity, the Mum insisted they would be getting some sleep and it would be fine. I was pretty annoyed when we collected ds next morning, he had been up all night and the Mum breezily told us she just let them do what they want and she has earplugs in and it was their own fault if they were too tired to do things the next day. I have learnt to write off the day after a sleepover now!

Your update, that you have grounded your daughter, puts you beyond the pale OP. I'm sorry, but you are a total killjoy. A fun vacuum. Unless this is a wind up - please let it be.

Oh yes, the teenage years await. I had a strict mum like the OP. All it taught me was how to be a very good liar.

Completely normal and I'm astonished you've grounded her!! How bloody horrible of you, she's done nothing wrong. Sleepovers are often kids trying to stay awake all night. It's a novelty. Yeah they might be grumpy when you pick them up but a nap and early night and everything is fine. You literally sound insane.

Threads like these always make me wonder why people don't channel their inner children and past experiences.

OP did you drop onto the Earth from outer space at 18?

Even if you never had sleepovers as a child, you must understand why this sort of thing happens. No big deal at all. She's had a lovely night bonding with her pal. Sleepovers aren't for sleeping!

She might if she's the kind of mother who won't let her DD have a later bedtime even if she has friends over, which it sounds like she is.

Sounds like great fun at your house! 😂

Don't text the mum. She hosted your DD for a night, she's probably knackered herself!

Who told you that they stayed up till 4.30? The mum or your DD? If it was your DD it's likely that she didn't. They always think that they stayed up longer than they did.

You’re being completely unreasonable. Get used to it though! It’s just the start…

Oh shit, I didn't see that this thread had so many pages.

4.30am is a ridiculous time to go to sleep and yes I would be annoyed, It was 3am for me, but I didn't text the parent to complain, I quietly seethed at the fact and also at the fact that dd then was so tired she fell asleep and missed a swimming lesson.

You can be annoyed at something without then making a massive song and dance of it.

YANBU and I’m amazed at some of these replies.

I have 3 dds aged 21, 19 and 15 and have hosted many many sleepovers over the years and my DDs have also been to many as a guest. They’ve never been up till that time because as much as they like having fun being with their friends, they also like their sleep.

When I’ve had visiting children here for sleepovers, I make sure they are settled down for sleep by 11.30/midnight (bit later depending on age). It’s really not difficult. They would have had fun in the evening, pizza, ice cream, sweets, watch a few films, doing hair/nails etc just not the whole bloody night!

And no, it’s not ‘normal’. It almost seems like the adults are accepting or even encouraging them to stay up all night. Lots of kids hate it being up that late, they might well WANT an adult to step in.

Your grounding your child for having fun?!
Really?

The last 2 years have been really shit
Its time to let children be children

I hope your daughter had a great time

Let it go OP, you're being ridiculous, or will be if you say anything. I'll bet the bairn had an awesome time. It's one night. It won't do her any harm.

And no, it’s not ‘normal’. It almost seems like the adults are accepting or even encouraging them to stay up all night. Lots of kids hate it being up that late, they might well WANT an adult to step in.

'encouraging' them to stay up late. 😂😂😂😁

We used to try and stay awake all night sf sleepovers!

If this is for real, your kid is going to grow up learning how to lie and never confide in you. Utterly ridiculous, poor kid.

It's one night. Really not something to get worked up about.