To ask if your DH or DP still goes down on you?

[HonestAnswersOnly]

DH used to when we were dating. Then he tailed off as we became a proper couple. He hasn't done it once since we married 6 years ago.

I've made comments, joked about it, he says sure. Bit it's all funny. And then we have sex and he goes absolutely no where near it. Just wham bam thank you mam.

I could be more direct with my request but I'm fairly sure he actually really isn't keen on it and it makes me feel ashamed that he would need to be persuaded into it.

Not looking for relationship advice (though fuck knows I need it)...just intrigued to find out if it still happens for other women in long term relationships?

Or do all men stop when they think they don't have to anymore?

I’m in a long term relationship with another woman, we have sex probably 4-6 times a week - oral features almost every time, we both love it.

Dh no 1 - never did it, not even when we were dating, he was an uptight bugger, we were together 9 years and I never knew when he had a crap, really weird about bodily functions and sex.
Long term relationship with much older man and he did it every time and he was very good, he was very good all round.
Dh no 2 - he enjoyed doing it but I used to lay there thinking about what I needed to buy for dinner the next day, he thought he was incredibly talented though.
Various longer term lovers have never hesitated to go down but I can’t be doing with it, they can’t get me off, I’ve faked orgasms to get it over with and now I avoid it.

No he doesn't. He was always boring and selfish in bed whereas I'd had an exciting adventurous past before meeting him.

We 'worked on it' as he had loads of other redeeming qualities and I tried to be tolerant as he was a virgin till he married and she never liked sex by the sounds of it. They certainly never did anything as wild as oral (massive eyeroll).

For a period of our relationship that aspect was pretty good but I felt like it was me insisting on an effort.

Then I got sick and went right off the whole thing. He still wants it so I go through the motions once or twice a month max. My drive has come back but I cannot be bothered.

I feel resentful about the whole thing to be honest. I think he is a lazy self serving git and if someone else interesting came along I would be off.

Mine never has and I never want him to. The thought of it just turns me off. He asks if he could occasionally, but always cheerfully takes no for an answer. The odd thing is that I quite enjoy doing the opposite thing to him, but have never much fancied the thought of having someone's nose sniffing around my privates.

Hell yes he does, married 37 years!

No. Says he doesn’t like it so won’t do it. Haven’t had sex for three years either as he doesn’t want that either. He has ED but won’t go to a doctor as he thinks they will give him testosterone snd he doesn’t want to go bald. He said if it was the choice between never having sex again or keeping his hair, he’d keep his hair. Not sure where that leaves me though…

This is a bit of an issue with my DH.
I have enjoyed many men in my formative years going down on me and my DH of 24 years was easily the best of them all. I came every time, and often more than once - his technique was lovely. Unfortunately, menopause has been a most unwelcome guest and now I have no feeling or desire at all for oral or indeed sex of any kind.

We have both been upset by this, but DH is reasonably understanding. Such a waste of sexual opportunity though, for I did love his tongue and fingers working their lusty magic!

If he doesn’t want to do it OP then it’s best to accept that and move on rather than trying cajoling/persuading etc as recommended here. I wouldn’t be comfortable pushing him into doing it knowing that the taste or smell is not to his liking - would just put me right off.

If there is some other reason (maybe for some reason wires are crossed and he thinks you don’t like it) then communication is the key but it is a bit tricky to work out how to broach it. For example my current DP didn’t seem to think I liked him ejaculating in my mouth for a while and I could sense his hesitancy. Eventually I told him via text message that I wanted to hear, feel and taste him orgasm in my mouth and Bob’s your uncle, no probs since 😍😍. It also led to an entertaining approach where we took turns laying out exactly what we were going to do to each other via SMS and trying to deliver it to the other at the most flustering times possible. Oh happy days!

@DoamnaSmecher Fucking hell that's terrible. His hair vs sex? He must not like sex much then. And he's in a relationship too!! Does he have long flowing locks or something?

His thing about not going to the doctor sounds like bullshit. If he goes, they will have a chat. They're not exactly going to force testosterone at him at gunpoint. Even if he takes it, it doesn't mean his hair will fall out, or that it's guaranteed it will fall out permanently, unless I'm mistaken.

Bloody hell that's bad!

DH is happy to and I enjoy it so yes he does regularly.
Everyone is different but I never understand when people say where do they find time..
Bed Time or Early Morning when DC are in bed usually.
Often tired we both work full time quite demanding jobs but it's part of keeping the relationship going well for us.

@Nyman1962 Have you talked to your GP or gynaecologist about trying testosterone gel?

Yes one of the sexiest things is looking down at a man between your legs really enjoying himself and meeting his eyes. I think I prefer it more than PIV.

@RubyWinters There are some couples (with kids) who have sex every day, maybe twice a day. It doesn't mean it lasts hours each time, but there are couples who have high sex drive where they need to let off steam this often. It's really not that unfathomable.

For the first 14 years or so of our relationship it was pretty rare actually, then we went through a bit of a rough patch and sex was part of it. Now he does it at least half of the time that we have sex if not more. He enjoys it because he loves how it makes me feel. I actually return the favour less often, but still regularly.

To the pp who said maybe they were missing out - you definitely are!

@LuckySantangelo35 how does everyone else on this thread manage it? Unless they have identical lives to me.
@RubyWinters Could’ve fooled me 😂 you could do with releasing some tension.

My ex loved it. But it does nothing for me so I didn’t care one way or the other

Yeah. Not as often as early in the relationship (then every time, now every 3rd time) but will do upon request. He has ED that is triggered by certain factors so if it is triggered then he will do that since we can't do penetration

I'm surprised at so many posters saying their husbands won't do it. Men often think they are the rare exception that likes to go down on women, whereas in reality I'd estimate more men actually enjoy doing it than women enjoy receiving it, especially if their technique is lacking. This article is interesting www.drpsychmom.com/2014/07/14/what-men-think-about-sex-versus-reality-no-preschooler-drawings-in-this-post-sorry/

When I was sexually active, and I had quite a few partners, the best lovers were happy to go down on me and had good technique. Those men who had no great inclination to perform oral were mostly lousy in other physical elements anyway. Most of them men I had wanted to give me oral, and as I have said previously, my current partner was great at it.

Eww. That’s actually made me cringe.

Yes likewise! Thirty years on and he still does. But it cricks his neck now so we have invested in a sex wedge.

Been together 12 years, married for 5 - yes, he still does it

Every time

Blimey, who the hell are you having those conversations with?!
"Mother, can you believe it, Roger went down on me this morning. It really is more than half of the reasons for why I married him" -insert tinkling laughter here-