cocklodger

[michbr1989]

i randomly came across a thread about cocklodgers which made me lol until i reaslised i have one of my own..ive never heard the word before. been seeing my bf for 4 years. Lived apart until say 5 months ago he moved to my home and got a brilliant well paid job.. I'm a single mum working part time so his wage is far higher than mine.. im so used to being independent and not relying on anyone it took me a while to realize he is living in my home absolutely free.. i pay the rent bills utilities broadband everything..i buy 80 per cent of the food that comes in the house he occasionally will buy a few little bits..i brought up the conversation yday expecting him to feel bad or even embarrassed but he wasnt either..i got replys like sure what do i cost being here, you had to pay the same bills before i was here and worst of all im not your kids father why shud i pay to keep the house..spoke to him today and his tune has changed saying he understands he should contribute bla bla bla..i then quizzed him on his finances for him to tell me hes short for money this week..which i cud not understand hes in a very well paid job..he pays no rent/has a fuel card for work/ive been fucking feeding him/only thing he has to pay is a monthly van insurance payment...turns out hes been gambling..and gambling a LOT.. hes gone upstairs to bed in shame/feeling sorry for himself..how do i deal with this situation i love him but i know he needs to go..i know tomorrow it will be all empty promises he wont keep and probly tears and begging

You need to boot his freeloading arse out the door.

Kick him out

Throw this one back.

DUMP HIM. You are letting him steal from your childrens mouths. Every penny of electricity he uses, all your food bill. That is money you could be spending on yourself or your kids. Gamblers don't change. Send him back to his mammy.

how do i deal with this situation i love him but i know he needs to go

You asked and answered your own question right there.

Chuck him out!

Yep - needs to go. He can't put this right as you can't change that he was prepared to freeload until you forced the issue.

Tell him to get to fuck.

I assume your chd tax credits if you get them have stopped with him moving in so he should be giving you money and not gambing it.

Get rid. A man who takes advantage of you like this is not a good man.

Doesn’t sound like a promising future, but I think the best way to find out for sure whether he needs to go, would be to ask him to log into his bank account tomorrow morning and you watch him set up a standing order for a specific amount (let him know what it should be - rent + bills + food contribution). The standing order will be for the day after he gets paid each month. If he resists, tries to put off doing it, or makes excuses, just tell him this situation isn’t going to work anymore. That you’re worse off financially having him live there and he needs to go. Immediately. To stay any longer, he would need to hand over some money for the rest of the month. His actions will tell you everything you need to know.

Oh yes he's cocklodger supreme.
And worse once he works his way through all his money he will start on yours. He needs gone asap

Why are they always gamblers? Just think, he would have let you carry on doing it if you hadn’t cottoned on. He will be wailing and crying tomorrow as he’s realised he’s going to have to stump up his own £800 a month for rent and bills in his new home wherever that might be, unless he can find another poor sap to take him on. He’s a gambler and a cocklodger - you really are best rid.

Tell him you do not want to be penniless in your old age - which comes soon enough!

What he has done is no better than stealing from you and your children. And that his first reaction when confronted was to lie and gaslight you says everything you need to know about is character. Get rid before he completely destroys your life. He will attach his credit rating to your address if you carry on with this and you will pay another penalty for his addiction. He could even take out credit in your name if you share an address.

"im not your kids father why shud i pay to keep the house.."

This tells you all you need to know about his attitude. The ironic thing is he is actually taking money away from your child by blagging off you.

Your kid deserves better. If you can't do it for yourself, end it and kick him out for your child. He has told you loud and clear how he views your child.

He needs to go immediately.
Cocklodging and gambling.... that's only going to get worse.
He's living off your back and stealing from your children. You are having to spend money on keeping him which means there is less money available for them.

What he's done is unforgivable. He's seen an opportunity and taken it at your expense.

There's no way to spin this that he isn't a conniving prick. Sorry.

Anything he says is just to manipulate you.

Just remember it’s your kids missing out due to his cocklodging.

Dump him today.

Absolutely kick him out.

yea the comment about not being their father is what's angered me the most.i provide everything for my sons.he pays nothing or hasn't any financial responsibility for my 2 kids so that comment was pure bullshit..hes known them for 3 years on a close level and makes a shitty comment like that..he says he didnt mean it but i believe what he said in anger what the absolute truth

You aren’t feeling sorry for him are you?

He has moved in with you BECAUSE he has money worries. He is sponging off you.

He is never going to pay his share. Don’t waste your breath - pack up his stuff and kick him out before he does your self esteem any more damage.

This.

It doesn't matter what he says or does now, he has shown you exactly who he is - an utterly selfish bastard.

GET RID NOW!!!

He is a total waste of space and he's been sponging off you while you single handedly raise 2 children and work. No way is this a man I would want my children around or for them to look at him as a role model. The absolute deal breaker is his comment regarding your sons. He is showing you who he is, sit up and take note. You and your children are worth so, so much more.

Honestly you deserve better. A decent man wouldn't have done this. Let alone got angry when challenged.