cocklodger

[michbr1989]

i randomly came across a thread about cocklodgers which made me lol until i reaslised i have one of my own..ive never heard the word before. been seeing my bf for 4 years. Lived apart until say 5 months ago he moved to my home and got a brilliant well paid job.. I'm a single mum working part time so his wage is far higher than mine.. im so used to being independent and not relying on anyone it took me a while to realize he is living in my home absolutely free.. i pay the rent bills utilities broadband everything..i buy 80 per cent of the food that comes in the house he occasionally will buy a few little bits..i brought up the conversation yday expecting him to feel bad or even embarrassed but he wasnt either..i got replys like sure what do i cost being here, you had to pay the same bills before i was here and worst of all im not your kids father why shud i pay to keep the house..spoke to him today and his tune has changed saying he understands he should contribute bla bla bla..i then quizzed him on his finances for him to tell me hes short for money this week..which i cud not understand hes in a very well paid job..he pays no rent/has a fuel card for work/ive been fucking feeding him/only thing he has to pay is a monthly van insurance payment...turns out hes been gambling..and gambling a LOT.. hes gone upstairs to bed in shame/feeling sorry for himself..how do i deal with this situation i love him but i know he needs to go..i know tomorrow it will be all empty promises he wont keep and probly tears and begging

I just wonder why it has taken so long for the penny to drop OP.

You will feel liberated when he has gone.

You love who you thought he was, not who he actually is. Every £1 you waste in him you take directly from the better life you and your DC could have.

Be strong!

This.

You love him? What's there to love about him, I feel sick just reading about this vile man who's sponging off a single mum.

Why would you take money away from your dc and the chance to build their futures and your own, to subsidise this utter waste of space human being?

Your council tax will also have gone up because I assume being the sole adult in the house you were paying 75%. If he's there officially you'll pay 100%.
Don't know what your situation is re any benefits but that will all change too

You're right, OP, he needs to go.

@JuneJubilee u are spot on im sad for the person ive taught he was..this side to him is an absolute dick

What a selfish scrounging ignorant bastard!

No man who loves you would let you pay for everything and struggle. This man doesn't care about you, I'm sorry but it's true. He's getting a free ride that's all.

My ex was a gambling addict and I wouldn't wish it on anyone

Get him out

We’ll look on the bright side:

1. you can cope perfectly well without him
2. Imagine the joy when you realise you’re free.

You already know so I'm just adding my tuppence worth. Dump him. Shift him out.

Literally taking the food from your kids mouths.

He's shameful.

He has a van ? Well while he's asleep later pack his shit and stick it in his van
Then have a very gentle word with yourself

dreading the morning. i know he will wake up and try to pretend none of this has happened..gonna hopefully wake before he does and take off for the day with the kids and let him sort his shit to go..its shit when u feel like u love someone so much but i know myself this isnt a life to settle for i cant fix a gambling addict

Just think how much money you're going to have when he goes! Why not say to yourself that by the end of tomorrow he'll be gone? You have a false memory of him, a false impression of what he's like. He was always like this, selfish and greedy, but he was clever enough to hide it from you. Although having said that, not paying a penny should've been a bloody big clue!

You might love him but he doesn't love you. He is using you for cheap accommodation

What sort of a man is happy to freeload and let his partner pay for everything, from food to the roof over his head?! What exactly does he bring to the table?

🚩 🚩🚩🚩

"been seeing my bf for 4 years. Lived apart until say 5 months ago he moved to my home and got a brilliant well paid job.."
Where did he live before moving in, by himself/with parents/friends? How did him moving in come about? Was it at his suggestion? Or did it just happen gradually and then you realised he had moved in by stealth? And this brilliant job of his - when did he get it, and - are you sure he has a job? I suspect if you answer all those questions (to yourself, not to me) then his cocklodging will become even clearer and will strengthen your resolve to kick him out.

At this point, I would not be giving him any choice in the matter, as in - 'No, offering dig money to me now makes no difference. You've been freeloading off me for months and when I raised it with you yesterday your attitude disgusted me and now the very thought of you gives me the ick. Pack up your shit and get out, you've got one hour.'

He brings the possibility of earning millions of pounds through gambling. Having said that, she wouldn't see him for dust if he did win anything big.

Ugh, what a horrible man. I have the ick on your behalf. I hope you make it crystal clear that he has to go immediately. You are scraping the barrel if you let this using loser stay. Hopefully your love for your kids propels you to chuck him out!

He'll drag you down with him

You get him out. You get him out now.

Freeloading cunt.

@WhereYouLeftIt moving in came as a natural progression it seemed to me..with regards to his job ive seen payslips he has a company van ,fuel card etc there is no doubt towards his employment. its the fact ive seen how much he earn and hes seen how much i do with me having two dependant children..i never expected him to pay for anything other than to cover his cost of living..which he is not.

Think practically. Where was he living before he moved in with you? Are his parents nearby?