cocklodger

[michbr1989]

i randomly came across a thread about cocklodgers which made me lol until i reaslised i have one of my own..ive never heard the word before. been seeing my bf for 4 years. Lived apart until say 5 months ago he moved to my home and got a brilliant well paid job.. I'm a single mum working part time so his wage is far higher than mine.. im so used to being independent and not relying on anyone it took me a while to realize he is living in my home absolutely free.. i pay the rent bills utilities broadband everything..i buy 80 per cent of the food that comes in the house he occasionally will buy a few little bits..i brought up the conversation yday expecting him to feel bad or even embarrassed but he wasnt either..i got replys like sure what do i cost being here, you had to pay the same bills before i was here and worst of all im not your kids father why shud i pay to keep the house..spoke to him today and his tune has changed saying he understands he should contribute bla bla bla..i then quizzed him on his finances for him to tell me hes short for money this week..which i cud not understand hes in a very well paid job..he pays no rent/has a fuel card for work/ive been fucking feeding him/only thing he has to pay is a monthly van insurance payment...turns out hes been gambling..and gambling a LOT.. hes gone upstairs to bed in shame/feeling sorry for himself..how do i deal with this situation i love him but i know he needs to go..i know tomorrow it will be all empty promises he wont keep and probly tears and begging

Good what a joke of a "man".

Well done for getting rid of him!

How has he got no shame to keep taking and taking and not wanting to help you out to make your life easier. He should have been giving you cash from day one for food shopping and bills. Yes your bills would be higher with him there as he is not living on air. You will never have nothing with a gambler and a liar and his comment about your kids is not on at all. You deserve better and you were probably lonely and the company was nice but I feel you have seen another side of him now and it has turned you right off.

Just saw your update well done to you, you have found your inner strength and you will be better off financially without him now. He should have been giving you money to help out years ago, no shame in him at all.

Brilliant work on getting rid of him so quickly. His attitude was so shocking.

By dealing with this so quickly and effectively you’re setting. A great example to your little boys, too. Have a great birthday day.

Welldone on showing him the door OP 👏

💪🏼well done OP

Oh god, gambling?! Kick him the fuck out before he works his way through your money as well as his own.

Well done. He thought he could use you for board and sex while he gambled his entire wages.

Good work op.

Be kind to yourself though. Sometimes the right thing to do is still very unsettling s show yourselfva lot of self compassion xx

Well done on seeing it through!!

Be strong & don't relent. Any promises to have stopped/changed are just bullshit. Even if he did stop gambling & started paying his way (fat chance) he STILL wouldn't be someone with a hood heart.

Hope DS had a nice birthday yesterday!!

get well soon x

He's a gambler and will strip you bare of everything if you keep him. Get rid of him ASAP, don't waste time feeling sorry for him, he'll soon find another sucker to sponge off.

O just seen your post OP, well done for losing him. You must be feeling sad and disappointed but don't blame yourself for not seeing what he was, there's thousands of men out there, moving from single mum to single mum, leeching off them. It's practically a career choice. And there are thousands who don't. Hope you find a good one soon.

Well done on getting rid so quick, it's the best way to do it whilst you're still shocked and angry otherwise the forgiveness and giving them a chance starts to kick in.

Admirable, well done 💐

How are you doing OP?

Hi OP - wondered how you are getting on and the move out went okay?

hi guys thanks for asking. im ok, obviously its gonna take time to adjust and get over it all. four years is a long time. but ive read so much info on gambling addictions and its not something i can have in my childrens home, i miss the person i taught he was.but better it happened now than years down the line

You sound so strong, well done OP

You are brilliant OP.