To ask what makes someone seem ‘classy’?

[Classynotme]

Not rich but the calm, serene and classy vibe that some people just give off?

To me it’s about being slow, polite and considered if that makes sense, never rushed. Plus looking well put together.

I’m always rushing and speaking too fast and seem harassed but I’d LOVE classier!

Someone who is confident at speaking to everyone from a peer of the realm to a binman - that really strikes me as having class. People with real class are not snobs and are quietly confident wherever they go and whoever they're with.

Everything opposite to people like Katie Price, so -

No tattoos
No piercings
No ridiculously long and/or garish nails
No cosmetic surgery
Hair that's well-kept, shiny and well-cut.
Clothes that aren't too revealing, tight or gaudy
Not being loud, vulgar or embarrassingly drunk

People I think are classy - George Clooney's wife, Prince William's wife, Helen Mirren.

I know, right? One thing is certain to me; the ones who think this, sure as hell are not my idea of 'classy' themselves.

There’s a huge middle ground between “clean and boring” and “filthy”.

I think the point people are making is that living your whole life in a state of fear of being too opinionated, making too much noise, rocking the boat in any way is not a particularly happy way to live.

I find it telling (and depressing) that Kate Middleton is so reliably wheeled out as a positive role model.

With no disrespect to her at all: I think she does what she does well and with dignity and professionalism. But her job is essentially to do nothing, say nothing, have no opinion on anything and efface whatever we might know of her personality.

Its nothing I would want for me or (God forbid) my daughter.

Classy is a feminine word I'd assume
a classy mum usually has children with either classic very popular names (Olivia, James) or alternatively underused, classic but not showy names (Louisa, Claire)

i am not classy unfortunately

And MN would die overnight!

Yes, I agree that classy is a naff term - but I know what the OP means.

I would add:

Quiet confidence which comes from a sense of security.
A sense of humility - the opposite of entitlement (someone who would always look round to see how they could help someone else rather than steam through a door being held open for them without a thank-you, or perhaps give up their seat quickly and without a fuss).
Manners (not etiquette - different!) which put others first and never forget to thank people, in words, email or by snail mail.
Naturally tries to put everyone at their ease - not to make people feel small.
Treats everyone with equal respect from the Queen to the man who collects the supermarket trolleys in wind and rain.
In social situations - asks questions rather than talks about themselves. In fact, avoids talking about themselves unless pushed!!!!
Would NEVER stoop to social media bragging.
Has absolutely no time for naff celebrities or daytime TV stars.
In terms of appearance: stylish rather than fashionable, confident enough not to follow fashion but eg wear a 20 year-old silk dress because it's as beautiful now as it was then.
Minimal 'messing with one's appearance' - for hair, no 'dos' which involve products and loads of styling. Just clean, shiny hair. Make-up kept to a minimum. Enhancing natural appearance rather than transforming it.
Needless to say: no Botox, lip fillers, weird eyebrows or 'work'.

But it really comes from inside, in my experience. I get the OP's wish to understand it, but I think you have to be born with it (not necessarily social class - it's about being comfortable with who you are and looking outwards to others rather than going on about yourself.

Knowing what suits you, being well groomed, being well put together, having control of your life. Managing with what you're doing.

My daughter comes across as quite "classy" but she's gifted with height that I don't have, and she is lucky enough that whatever she throws on looks like she's made an intention to put an outfit together that looks put together. She has her own style which really works for her. She isn't massive on following trends, just what she likes. Her haircut is stunning on her and frames her face well.

She's quite reserved, comes across as articulate when she speaks, doesn't really speak for the point of speaking! Doesn't overshare, doesn't do the annoying self depreciation thing that I do.

It's easier for her as a teenager, but she makes plans, and doesn't spread herself too thinly so time isn't always running out too fast. She knows what needs doing when, which gives her an air of calmness.

She is also very polite and kind, which is all she offers up to people until they're "friends" of hers, so that politeness and kindness tends to be something that people remember her for.

It's quite funny because she makes quite an impression on people; her teachers hold her in quite high esteem, lots of people do. It becomes patently obvious that I am not who they expect to be her mum when they meet me.

My friend is the classiest person I know. He doesn't have a lot of money, always wears jeans and T shirt, is self employed and works hard and does his job well. He's simply a wonderful person who is unfailingly kind, sensible, can speak to anyone and make them feel at ease, and is totally comfortable in his own skin. He goes through the world effortlessly. I'd love to be like that.

You can't take wealth away from the definition of "classy" - being "classy" requires the funds to be so.

"Classy" means not having to work (though may do so through choice). It means having the time to do what you enjoy, not having to rush, all of which requires money.

Of course, having money doesn't mean someone is "classy" - it's a matter of how someone chooses to use their privilege.

Oooh, this is well said. I like it.

I know a larger lady or two that are very classy, overweight doesn’t have much to do with it. It’s more your speech, dressing very well to suit your body, manners and manner as well as impeccable hygiene.

You do not have to be wealthy to seem classy at all.

Don't use the word 'classy' for a start.

Sorry for sounding abrupt!

Yes I know a lovely lady like this too, she works at the local library reading stories to children. She doesn’t have much money but dresses with flair and is always impeccable, well spoken and confident.

I don’t think it’s just your appearance, weight etc.

It’s more about your whole demeanour - how you conduct yourself, posture, manners, ability to hold a conversation and listen

My aunt was really classy. She wasn't loud or the centre of attwntion but was easy going, cheerful and very welcoming. She had good posture and dressed in lovely fabrics but nothing loud. She always had an interesting accesory or two but it conplimented the rest of her outfit, it didn't take attention away. Same with her clothes, the simple cuts and colours flattered her and added something to her instead of taking attention away from herself.

Hmm I disagree.
To me, a classy person doesn't necessarily share all their opinions at the drop of a hat to anyone who will listen, but you get the impression that they have them, and it makes you want to know, talk to them more, find out more.
Boring people are just boring and you often pick up on that very quickly, but I have definitely met people who don't overshare loads of opinions off the bat who are intriguing and fascinating. And when you ask them a deeper question on a topic they don't immediately rush to rant, but give it considered thought and a measured response, accepting that other views might differ/have merit.
Personally I think that's what people are getting at when they say 'not oversharing opinions'
I'm very opinionated and still intend to share my opinion with others, but am trying to get better at listening and sharing it in a way that actually fosters conversation, and also, when asked, rather than just 'sharing' effusively

Remembering the line in Legally Blonde when Elle refuses to share something about her client (I think) and the other woman says "that was very...classy of you".

I think it's a decency thing for me. Being decent, considering other people and not competing with people. Speaking quickly doesn't make you un-classy at all; I think that's too superficial (for me)

😂😂 and a revolver?

Well put together, not caring about other peoples opinions but at the same time, is not rude to anyone. Doesn't smoke or vape and never gets pissed. No lip fillers or obvious work done. Doesn't swear in public, however a friend I think of as the most classy person I know swears like a sailor in private.

For me it is timeless minimalist fashion - very simple items which do not feature any frills/finishes/contrasting patterns. Colour block style.

Having composure in any situation, not making a scene or being overly emotional.

Imteresting question! think it of as behaviour rather than how someone looks. The bedrock is good manners and consideration for others, plus something more.

Turning the other cheek when someone is being rude or unpleasant from stress or exhaustion. Dealing with difficult situations in a calm, respectful way that brings out the best in people. Voluntarily owning mistakes and apologising instead of styling it out. Watching and listening and anticipating what is needed. Understated generosity. Essentially, behaviour which quietly elevates others. Grace.

Lovely Michelle Obama, 'When they go low, we go high'. Always kind but honest. even though she is so popular, refuses to consider running for The White House because she knows it should not be about ego and she wants to concentrate on family and acting as a role model for young people. She always tries to be the better person.

You can look classy and you can be classy. The latter is more important and isn't always linked to wealth imo - its being thoughtful, respectful, dignified, treating people well, even in difficult circumstances.

Looking classy is probably more linked to wealth and social class. It's easier to look groomed and well dressed if you can afford beauty treatments and to pay for professional advice if it doesn't come naturally. I don't think the upper classes are big on tattoos etc, so there are definitely style choices which are associated with class - I think it's that understated look which isn't fashion led but costs a lot of money. And nice hair/teeth - basically the things which cost a lot of money to maintain in order to look 'natural'.