To ask what makes someone seem ‘classy’?

[Classynotme]

Not rich but the calm, serene and classy vibe that some people just give off?

To me it’s about being slow, polite and considered if that makes sense, never rushed. Plus looking well put together.

I’m always rushing and speaking too fast and seem harassed but I’d LOVE classier!

Well dressed, well spoken, well groomed and not fat.

I have two Aunts that I would say are classy. Both wear nice, well suited clothes but not slaves to the fashion of the day, in fact one of them rocks in a leather dress and leather pants she bought back in the 70's. Minimal use of cosmetics, and def. no tattoos or multiple piercings.

Both think before they speak and say more by saying less. Very considerate, good listeners, happy to enjoy a glass or two of wine, but not overdrinkers.

Always seem happy to see us and feel very welcome in their homes.

Neither have backgrounds in common. One grew up in better circumstances than the other who spent her early years as a young single mum working in a cafe, however both are well travelled and are friends with people of different financial backgrounds.

Assertive when needed, not aggressive. Opinions expressed in this way are fine. Politeness and courtesy at all times, especially towards people who are doing something for you, eg shop and bar staff. A sense of self that does not intrude on or diminish anyone else's importance. Engaging with people properly, because they all matter and are equal.

IMO, you can wear a bin bag and be classy because no amount of discreet linen and Hermes perfume is important.

Willow tree figures

Not using the word "classy". I've no idea why, but true.

I’m so glad you said that! I thought I was the only one who thought this!

I know someone classy. She's very political and manages her moods well, never says anything controversial, always on time, always responds to emails promptly. It sounds boring, but actually the relentless consistency of her good behaviour is so impressive, intimidating even, over time. She is slim too. I doubt she does stress eating. In fact, I've never seen her eat and I've known her for years. I saw her drink coffee once, though, surely.

This made me laugh. I am definitely the crumbly Nature Valley person, no matter how much I might try not to be!

For me it is poise, confidence, a well put together look in a style that's a bit offbeat but flattering, and someone who doesn't gossip or over share but can carry a conversation with anyone and put them at their ease/make them feel welcome.

Someone who never ever takes the bait, has a knowing smile and a quiet charisma.

My partner has told me I'm classy. I don't really feel it though. I have no tattoos or nothing but I'm outspoken if I need to be. Not a wallflower so not sure why that's the impression I give. Definitely not rich either 😂

I love this. I've never been classy in a groomed way although I'm smart and sort of cool-ish. Whenever I've tried to be classy I've felt exactly as you described - or rather more so, because I felt like that all the time. Since adhd diagnosis I have let my shoulders down and am spending a lot less time self-policing and no time at all doing things I have always struggled with. You sound lovely. I'm so pleased for your children too.

I am sure having the self-restraint to not eat half the cake you cooked and the self-discipline to iron and hang up your clothes comes into it somewhere....

Your question makes me want to vomit but here is my answer:
Those who are kind, thoughtful and forgiving.

Great question, imo:

Someone who doesn’t correct people publicly in conversation when the person they are speaking to gets something wrong like a fact, or the pronunciation of a word. In particular the mark of a classy person is when someone they are talking to mispronounces a word, and they use that pronunciation subsequently so as not to embarrass the person they are speaking with.
Someone who tips well and is courteous to service staff.
Someone who doesn’t brag about that they have, what they’ve achieved or who they know, but is patient and kind to people who do.
At a gathering, it’s the person who makes an effort to speak to someone when it’s clear they are outside of the conversation and have no one else to talk to.
Someone who doesn’t engage in gossip, but doesn’t shame other people when they do it either, and they usually find a subtle way to redirect conversation.
Speaking more than one language fluently
Being able to play an instrument well
Someone who can have an interesting conversation about anything, with anyone
Someone who is well dressed, especially if you can’t quite put your finger on what makes them particularly well dressed.
Kindness

I think it's an oxymoron because 'classy' sounds like 'posh', not a term truly aristocratic, refined and elegant people would identify with.

I think moving well is the key. Erect bearing and straight back and neck. There is a way of moving the legs, sort of kicking one behind which keep the movement fluid. A quality of stillness when poised and not doing anything.

a cigarette holder, a marcel wave and silk stockings.

Good personal hygiene and smells good basically

Everyone is pretty much describing someone that is incredibly boring 🙃

I really like these threads because they are always a hilarious mix of bonkers ideas about whether a certain hairstyle will make you classier and posters saying ‘that’s me’, ‘I’ve been told that I’m classy’. no you have not
Wearing a cashmere cardigan and letting people walk all over you because you are afraid of speaking up does not make you classy!

Classy isn’t about your hair or your shoes, it’s about kindness, courage and strength. My dog is really classy.

Manners

My MIL is classy. She never swears, has an expensive haircut, shops in Joules, knits things to a professional standard and gives them as gifts, pops M&S meals in the oven instead of faffing about burning pasta like me, drinks one glass of wine in the evening and she always smells of gently soothing essential oils.

I am not classy. I drag my chubby self out of bed, scrape my bedraggled mumsnet haircutted hair into a mum bun and put yesterdays clothes on for the school run after a sniff test. The day continues in a similar vein until I put on my favourite Asda nightie with a hole in it on and collapse on the sofa with a glass of wine and a bag of crisps and a caramel twirl.

I agree with manners, but most especially with the tenet of manners that holds the comfort of other people at a premium.

It is the worst possible crime of manners to point out someone else's etiquette failures.

I don't think it means not sharing your opinions, but being able to do so in a manner that opens up a conversation respectfully or clues in someone in that their comments being offensive without calling them out.

I'd like to think I managed this last week. A woman was going up to people in the pool loudly haranguing people on whether they were using the lanes correctly. I forestalled her having a go at yet another person and offered her the sole use of my lane. I got a mouthed "thank you" from one of the guys she'd bothered. I gave her what she wanted - her Important Swimming Lane, and at the same time made everyone else a bit more relaxed.

(for balance, I am not slim, well dressed or well groomed, and my dress sense has been described as "Jimmy Savile on a bad day" by friends)

Ouch!

Not fat!? What are the parameters we are talking about here? How many lbs over your BMI are you allowed before you lose "class"?

Nice example. “Jimmy Savile on a bad day” isn’t far off some of the re-emerging 90s trends coming down the catwalk this season, pretty sure there were even a few shell suits 😂

I am told I'm classy. I am fairly calm most of the time, can handle most situations with ease even if stressed on the inside.

Dress well (on a budget but people think my clothes cost more than they do), carry myself well. I don't gossip. I'm articulate.

Apparently being opinionated is out. I don't think so - plenty of politicians are opinionated, you just have to carry it well.