To have these kind of dinners when DH is away?

[DaphneeBridgerton]

Backstory: I do have anxiety and depression which is a lot worse since having DD 14 months ago, am starting fluoxetine tomorrow and have had various types of therapy but investigating more

So I think I’m second-guessing myself / looking for a bit of reassurance but do want to keep it lighthearted if possible!

Whenever DH is away overnight for work (once or twice a week usually) I can never be bothered to cook myself a ‘proper’ meal…

When he’s here I will cook things like lasagne, stir fry, shepherds pie, risotto etc for us both but when left to my own devices I can’t be bothered and end up eating things like a fried egg sandwich, beans on toast or even a packet of spicy rice with some avocado on the side. I always eat but never anything really wholesome or complicated.

Also I do cook for my DD - tonight she had waffles, scrambled egg and broccoli as an example. So she’s not suffering!

Is this my depression? Is this something other people do? Or am I just lazy?! I genuinely think I just like simpler meals, my mum is very similar but I’m just wondering what other people think.

I'm the same. Cheese and onion crisp sandwich when my husband is away. It's laziness on my part.

I think it's fine. Not every dinner has to be elaborate.

DH works in events and is often away of an evening. It's become a running joke that when he does, he tends to ask me what cereal I'll be having as he's leaving because I never cook a proper meal if I'm alone! 😁

It’s fine! I often do dinners like that because I really can’t be bothered to cook.

I don't see an issue with this. It's a perk of adulthood...🙂

I live on toast and cereal when DH is away!

Yanbu, at all. I do this all the time! If it's just me and ds, it's whatever is easiest/quickest. Ds is similar to me, he'd rather snack and pick than sit down to a 'proper' dinner.

I'll cook for the DC and then have cheese on toast. Or eggy bread. Or a PBJ. As a PP said, perks of adulthood 😉

I'm usually the same when dh is away. Even when we make something decent the night before so I can have it again the next day, I usually just have something small and light instead. Some days I will make something decent the morning he is due back so he has something good to look forward to, like Lasagne etc that can be reheated (and taste better for it!) or can cook for a while until he's back.

I live alone and your meals sound pretty similar to what I often eat. Sometimes I'll eat a few random things out the fridge or cupboard without even bothering to put them on a plate (e.g. broccoli, cheese, cherry tomatoes, crackers, yoghurt etc). I do make meals as well, but not all the time, and they can be very simple. E.g. lunch today was cold roast chicken, gerkin and crackers.
To be fair, avocado and rice is probably more healthy than lasagne or shepherd's pie.

I do this all the time when DH is working during the evening. The kids often eat early, around 4.30, 5pm, so I eat when they're asleep, around 7ish. So instead of having the healthy three bean chilli, with brown rice and broccoli for example, I end up having Quorn nuggets, hash browns and beans, or scrambled eggs on toast, or fried egg sandwich or something. I really need to be more strict and apply the same care to me as I do for the kids, or as I would cook for all of us if DH wasn't at work.

I eat whatever I fancy even when I'm cooking for my children, I'm a single parent so don't have a partner to take into account but as an adult I get to choose my own food and it's no one else's business and it wouldn't occur to me to give it a second thought

Sounds lovely.. enjoy whatever you choose to eat. 🍔🍌🍪

I sometimes cook a 'proper' meal for the rest of the family and then have something really simple myself if I don't fancy what I've cooked. I love the packet flavoured cous cous you just pour boiling water on to with some quiche and salad leaves.

One of the many things I love about living alone - nobody to judge my choice of meals.
I do cook most nights, but other nights can be jam butties, cheese and pineapple (not on sticks as it's too much faff) tinned rice pudding, tinned fruit.
Just whatever I fancy.

Go for it!

This is totally normal. I can’t be arsed when it’s just for me. Last night I heated up some markies Cajun chicken fillets, and ate a couple of them. Just them. Nothing else. And it was about eight pm. Generally we eat about 6. It’d laziness for me too.

If DH is out I have one of three things:
-some form of egg on toast
-fancy pot of nice white crab meat with herbs and Mayo and shallots on toast
-Deliveroo (in respect of which see my recent AIBU post…)

it’s fine. Enjoy the lack of washing up and watch something on Netflix while you eat. Make sure you eat some fruit or veg at some point in the day.

I have cereal for tea every time DH is away.

It's low effort, low mess bliss.

Good to hear I’m not alone! My confidence has taken a real battering since the post natal anxiety / depression hit me (I was in a mother and baby unit for a while🙁) - I keep second guessing every bloody thing I do and whether it’s normal or not - even though I’ve always been like this for as long as I can remember! Thanks everyone

Sounds perfect! Sometimes if my husband is away I will cook nice things for myself, just because I enjoy and feel like cooking. Other times I'll eat toast or eggy bread or crisps and wine. Because I am a grown up and that's one of the perks 😘

I was sitting having a coffee outside a local cafe, at the next table there was a group of women, I'd say in their 70s. One lady was getting loads of sympathy and it was clear she'd recently been widowed. They did go on a bit and in the end she said, "Well one positive thing is I can have a boiled egg and toast for dinner if I don't want to cook." I nearly choked but it did move them on to something else.

I sometimes think (when DH is being very annoying) that one day I will be able to have boiled egg and toast for dinner.

I never bother to cook proper dinners for just me, just doesn’t seem worth the money, effort or washing up afterwards

Firstly, years ago beans on toast, sardines on toast, jacket potato and filling would be seen as perfectly reasonable and appropriate evening meals, only in recent years have people turned their noses up at things like this and they're seen as inferior and not elaborate or gastro enough.

Secondly, I know you wanted the thread to be lighthearted but you really really dont need validation from randoms on mumsnet (of all places).

My favourite tea when I’m home alone? Wine and crisps!

When dh is away I do cook properly for me and dc but in summer that might just be salad and picky bits.

Lunches when I'm on my own are pita bread pr carrot stick and hummus. Buts of cheese and salami, nothing proper.