To have these kind of dinners when DH is away?

[DaphneeBridgerton]

Backstory: I do have anxiety and depression which is a lot worse since having DD 14 months ago, am starting fluoxetine tomorrow and have had various types of therapy but investigating more

So I think I’m second-guessing myself / looking for a bit of reassurance but do want to keep it lighthearted if possible!

Whenever DH is away overnight for work (once or twice a week usually) I can never be bothered to cook myself a ‘proper’ meal…

When he’s here I will cook things like lasagne, stir fry, shepherds pie, risotto etc for us both but when left to my own devices I can’t be bothered and end up eating things like a fried egg sandwich, beans on toast or even a packet of spicy rice with some avocado on the side. I always eat but never anything really wholesome or complicated.

Also I do cook for my DD - tonight she had waffles, scrambled egg and broccoli as an example. So she’s not suffering!

Is this my depression? Is this something other people do? Or am I just lazy?! I genuinely think I just like simpler meals, my mum is very similar but I’m just wondering what other people think.

So why aren't women eating the lighter options when the DH is home, that's what I don't understand?

Almost all these women are doing the cooking. It seems that an awful lot of them are cooking food they don't want to eat to please a man who doesn't even take his turn and if he does, almost certainly won't be making omelette and salad for his DW when he wants steak and chips.

I make what I want to eat and feel like cooking. I tell DP 'I'm making X do you want some' and he either has some or does his own.

I'm the same. When my husband was in hospital the nearest I got to a proper meal was a bacon sandwich or a Waitrose Caulflower Cheese..... and he was in for 4 weeks.

@BarbaraofSeville Hmm, for me it’s because I like nice meals and being a bit fancy about it when there’s someone else around – food in serving dishes, table laid nicely, presentation etc. And a variety of food and vegetables. It’s something I enjoy; not a chore I’m suffering through for DP. And he splits the cooking 50/50. Whereas eating crisps and hummus on the sofa feels like a treat when I’m alone, when I also cba to lay the table for just me, but a bit grubby or slovenly in company.

To each their own! I wouldn’t enjoy us each cooking our own dinner the way you’ve described. But we do check with each other what we want to eat and will cook to each other’s preferences and compromise.

Verrrry interesting! I try and cook something the whole family will enjoy which I am increasingly struggling with! We seem to eat a lot of chicken…Dh has recently started to say’ I don’t fancy that’ maybe I should just cook for me and the kids !

My DH does 80% of the cooking, when he is there I take my turn to also cook a "proper" meal as he does.

When he's not there, I don't bother.

Sorry if that doesn't suit your agenda that all women are just cooking/eating to please their DHs. Some of us have mutually respectful relationships.

It's absolutely fine. If I'm just cooking for myself in the evening it usually a fried egg and toast or a crisp sandwich.

@BarbaraofSeville

moatxod the posters aren’t saying they eat “lighter options”

they’re saying they eat a tube of Pringles and wine or a bowl of cereal

not really sustainable for a healthy life every day!

Nah don’t do that
Makes it tricky for the children

talk to him!!
how about he cooks too. And you both put in requests for when the other cooking?

For me a. Mainly because if I am on my own I'm just too lazy to cook a proper meal just for me, it seems a waste of heating the oven and more washing up. I cook for both of us. I'd be annoyed if DH only did things around the house that worked for him.

Honey, you can have what you like when you like, even when your husband is there.

I was just thinking the same.
I remember when living alone, I'd cook for the kids, eat any leftovers and for myself I would eat small portions of something that needed no cooking. Since meeting DP weve always had cooked meals most nights. Its no bloody wonder why I've put on 4 stone since we started living together.

I'm a really lazy eater. If I lived alone I'd never cook a meal again. I'm happy with cereal, toast, sandwiches. It's a good job someone cooks most days or I'd probably never eat a cooked vegetable again.

He does cook - about 40% of the time id say

This is absolutely normal and what lots, even most people are like. Your dinners sound absolutely fine. When DH is away I usually eat chips with beans, cheese and crackers or last week it was just a (big) bag of crisps as it was hot and I couldn't be bothered!

You're an adult. You can eat whatever the hell you want. I think you'll find that a lot of people do the same thing - I most definitely do. Why would you go to the trouble of prepping and then cooking a proper meal from scratch just for one person to eat?

I haven't read other responses just so you know... but I'm a single mother and essentially on those two nights a week so are you, I do the same as you, I cook for my DS and give him what he needs but when it comes to thinking about me I'll probably have a toasted bagel for my tea!

If I go round to my DM I always cook a full meal for the 3 of us but it's the same amount of effort for me do do a full meal as it is to just cook my son something! I feel it's more about being bothered to eat it for me!

I live alone so I have to or I would never eat a proper meal
Do tend to batch cook so I make 4-6 portions of cottage pie or whatever though

I was drank a litre and a half of chocolate milk...I wasn't very well the next day.