Debating between these two countries. Which is better to bring children up in?

[Mixedfeelings89]

England or America. I am from England, Husband is American. We are not rich, nor poor therefore we would be living a average lifestyle. My only concern is which country will be better for the children? If we didn't have children I wouldn't really care which country either way. I just want the best for the children. Children are not yet school age, if that makes a difference.

Thanks in advance.

This and I've lived in both

I was talking to a teacher friend whose DH is from the USA. She has said there is no way they are moving there to have the three of them (2kids) in a school system where they risk being shot to death. Added to gun worries, the cost of health care and other employment rights would mean hell would have to freeze over before I moved to the USA.

Fascinating and scary

About the gators...
I have relatives who have lived in Florida part-time for last few years: they have never seen any aligators in their urban area. Not once.

We kayaked in a (wilderness) gator-infested swamp (stunning, clearest water ever) for 3 hours: we only saw one, a quite large one, at very end of our journey. it didn't care about us.

Gators do just lie on/next to paths as you're walking around the parks. The impression I got is leave them alone, especially in breeding season, they will leave you alone. People aren't interesting to them. I was more bothered by the mozzies, tbh.

I lived in the US 20 years ago. Loved the climate and travelled a l

both countries are on a downward spiral

I personally wouldn't live in Florida, or anywhere else in the old South for that matter. Or the Dakotas, Montana, Nebraska, Missouri, Kansas, Iowa, Nevada, Idaho... Utah, sheesh..

I might make an exception for parts of North Carolina, maybe parts of Virginia.

I live in an extremely blue part of a very blue Midwestern state. I echo what Pallisers and BritWife have said.

People referencing low taxes don't know what they're talking about. Americans carry a heavy tax burden. There are federal and state income taxes (though some states don't levy a state income tax), retail taxes on everything, county taxes, municipal and state registration costs for your vehicle, property taxes based on a valuation of your home, and on top of that you pay for water, sewer, and garbage disposal/recycling, utilities, etc.

And financial aid can make a dent in the cost of attending university, sometimes a really big one.

All of my DCs have Irish passports and are happy to have a choice as to where they can spend their lives.

Travelled loads. Loved the landscapes & climate. Hated the very deep rooted outward racism that was extreme. Worked with parents that had to go back to work 4 weeks having a baby - no mat leave. Had two trips to hospitals where they wouldn't treat me until insurance seen. Minor stitches cost ££££
Everyone had a gun in the wardrobe.

Live in the U.K.
holiday in the USA

Definitely UK we don't worry about our children being slaughtered in school here. Healthcare being another. They might have more sun but also more risk of skin cancer. Follow Yorkshire peach on Facebook and Tiktok. She's an American in the UK with a British husband and even she says she prefers it here. She just got from seeing family there and struggled with the heat herself.

My DCs went to elementary school in a big old red brick building with doors right off the pavement and a courtyard playground at the rear, streets on both sides. Their high school occupied an entire city block lengthways (one eighth of a mile) with some sports fields at the rear and others across the street. Neither school had armed guards or metal detectors. The high school employs several social workers and licensed therapists, as well as psychologists, and has a nursery for local children as well as babies and children of students and staff. There is fantastic special ed provision. Extra curriculars are wide ranging - truly something for everyone. The facilities are stunning.

There are no gators apart from the odd overgrown pet let loose (see "Chance the Snapper"). Mosquitos in summer, no snakes that I ever ran across, but the metro area boasted about 4,000 coyotes so I occasionally saw one. Deer grazing on front lawns - frequently. Hawks, foxes, bunnies and squirrels galore. Also opossums and raccoons.

There is a lot of neighbourly friendliness, kids can leave bikes and other stuff out in front of houses on the open plan front lawns overnight and you can even forget to lock your door with no bad consequences.

A lot of your experience of the US depends on where you live, frankly.

England

I'm a Brit living in the US. My last trip home to the UK was shocking. It felt like I was in a deprived 3rd world country, and my family are more than 'comfortable' financially. I couldn't believe how dirty, rough and expensive everything is. My father died and we struggled to be able to register his death because of Covid/worker shortages/Tory austerity bollocks. It is also almost impossible for my disabled mother to access healthcare efficiently. She has BUPA but even getting through to a receptionist to request a referral can take days of phone calls. How my father was treated towards the end of his life was traumatizing.

However, the US definitely has areas I would not want to live in, and Florida is one of them. I find the climate very hard to cope with, although I guess you would adapt, and Florida is very right wing compared to where I live.

Or daughter is in college, and it costs about the same as UK tuition and housing fees. I'm a teacher so not a high earner but I can afford health care and it considerably better than the NHS provision. Yes, gun safety does concern me, but I grew up during The Troubles and people here recoil in shock when I tell them stories of bomb scares and trains being cancelled etc.

So, even though there are serious down sides to the US,I don't automatically assume the UK is better.

Well I don't really want to live in the UK anymore, but I'd like even less to live in the US (cost of healthcare, guns/security/police issues, race and equality issues, cost of college, taxes). I've visited for work lots and obviously there are beautiful places there, but not to live. Plus extreme weather and drought in many states. I mean these will all be issues in the UK in a few more years but for now we're just edging ahead 😅

Nope me neither and I have family over there.

When you say England, do you mean the UK or England?

Well america is free country and its free to take people lives too 😅.

i’m not british but live in england for 10 years now. My sister lives in US and we both agree england definitely 1000000 times better. The worst thing people can do in here is stabbing other not kill you instantly with a gun.

There are pros and cons to each. Salaries are way higher in my industry in the US, even taking into consideration healthcare costs. Like 30 - 50%more. I also think the US education system is more well rounded because it is less focused on test results. Everything in America is more variable though - education is brilliant in some situations but appalling in others depending on your school district. Healthcare is similarly either WAY better than uk if you have decent insurance, or financially crippling if you don’t have great insurance.

concern about gun violence are valid, but massively overemphasised. Gun violence is sadly more comm9n in the US, but it isn’t part of most peoples lived experience. I lived in the Us for 25 years with no personal experience of violence.

in short, the poorer you are the better the uk is for safety net and support; the wealthier you are the better the us is for service, choice and convenience

Personally, I feel like America would have been my choice as a young adult/couple. England would be my choice of where to raise a family.

At least with him being from there you can have some incredible holidays to America on more of a budget (by staying with relatives unless they like in the back end of nowhere). I think it would be a great compromise to live in England but take some good holidays to America once/twice a year. All the fun and less of the financial misery/gun worries, etc.

We have family friends in Boston, lovely place, anywhere in New England I could live - quite liberal, less red necks, tighter gun laws. Obvs that would be with excellent health insurance, job security etc.

Florida, anywhere in the south / midwest, no way!!

Uk.

I have family and friends in the US. One of them recently mentioned that they were starting to have conversations about getting a gun, 'just in case.' I was stunned.

I just could not live like that. I have profound concerns about the direction of travel with women's rights and how the Republican Party are trying hard to blow apart much of people take for granted in a stable democracy. I feel worried and angry from here!

England - lots of wankers
US - even more wankers. Plus wankers with guns.

Sums it up well I think. 😃

With the UK slippery slope well greased, I'd go UK, with gated housing near OFSTED top ranking schools.

Full alarm system and baseball bat in hall and bedroom.

Another vote for Scotland if it’s an option. Florida, if you are not wealthy, sounds like it could be a bit too politically “exciting” especially with DeSantis as governor. He’s anti-planned parenthood, anti-critical race theory being taught in schools and probably best known for recently trying to rase a “private army”. The openly racist language might be the tip of the iceberg if you don’t consider yourself particularly right wing.

They say they make far too much money from the gun culture. Every time there's a mass shooting gun purchases go up. But they would need to have it on them all the time to use for protection.

They kill more people than they protect. I wouldn't want to be a parent who's child found a handgun in my bag and accidentally shoot's themself or another child.

You don't even need to be walking down the street. This British man was in bed and got hit by a stray bullet in the wall. Such a good looking man as well.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-surrey-60098840.amp