Debating between these two countries. Which is better to bring children up in?

[Mixedfeelings89]

England or America. I am from England, Husband is American. We are not rich, nor poor therefore we would be living a average lifestyle. My only concern is which country will be better for the children? If we didn't have children I wouldn't really care which country either way. I just want the best for the children. Children are not yet school age, if that makes a difference.

Thanks in advance.

I wouldn't even want to take my child on holiday to the US. You couldn't pay me enough to live there.

I'm from neither. I think America is very beautiful. But guns, healthcare, women's rights, annual leave, cost of university would all make it a no for me. All countries have problems but those feel like very big problems.

If you are living overseas, then even as a British citizen you are not entitled to free NHS care.
You have to have been resident here for 6 months.
Having said that, if you turn up at a hospital with a British accent, no-one bothers to ask.
But there are people who have been presented with a bill, once they realised that they were not UK resident.

But I'd certainly holiday there! And have done. So much beauty there and the people are so nice. Some of the posts on here are beyond rude. You can decide a place isn't for you and recognise issues that for you personally would be insurmountable without going for maximum offence. Sorry to the Americans reading some of this, pay no mind, every post has rude and insulting posters.

I do think that you can make a good life anywhere. If you have a job/income that is high enough, then you can make it work anywhere.

Comments about politics etc, well, there are parts of UK which have grim politics and you can encounter many of the same issues.

Parts of the UK are dire, and parts of the US are beautiful - and you get a lot of house for your money.

I have lived in several countries, and as I said you can make a life anywhere.

For me though the health care access would be a huge question. My dd had an accident aged 18 months. She had 13 operations between 18 months and 2.5.
I think that in US that would have totalled over $100,000. I have no idea if a standard health care would have covered it. I cannot imagine dealing with all the fallout of her health and also worrying about the money. Talking to doctors about the possible next step treatments and wondering if we can choose them due to finances. And while healthcare may not be an issue if you are healthy and working, what if the main wage earner is the one who gets sick, so you lose your health care?

At the moment the U.K., 100%. I’m in London and deeply depressed about standards of living and the direction of political travel here too, but no way would I even consider moving to the U.S.

If you have good careers and are comfortable financially, then America will offer you a better standard of living in terms of house size, more disposable income, good health insurance etc.

Otherwise you are better off in the UK.

I have family over in the US that would agree with this.

Culturally, the US gives people far more freedom to make mistakes, try again, be different if they want to be.

Honestly, these are just words with no substance. Propaganda brainwash drilled (no pun) into American heads unfortunately. We are free you guys. I can mistakes and fail daily then try again no problem 😄 I can also say what I like, and vote whomever I like, even put myself forward to be elected amazingly.

*can make mistakes. See I made one right there 🤣

I go to America a lot, sometimes for months, sometimes for weeks with work and holidays. I love the U.S, but no way would I want to live there.

Gun laws, racial inequality ,health care for a family is very expensive, poor rights at work, very little paid holiday time, also depends where in the states.

But life is what you make it. You can try it and always come back.

If I were a woman of child bearing age being asked to go to the US for work reasons, I’d be checking the small print very carefully of my travel and health insurance, and the relevant state law and practice, about what would happen if I needed urgent medical assistance for anything pregnancy or contraception related, eg ectopic pregnancy.

The US is very different depending on where you are, even more so after yesterday's court decision.

It would be the UK for me, even with the misogynist lying in all but name serial killer as Prime Minister. He won't be in number 10 for ever, but in this country we will still have the NHS, gun control, and be near to the rich culture that is available in places in Europe.

I remember someone saying that people get fooled into thinking the US and UK are similar because they both speak English but actually from a cultural, social, economic, historic pov they are such different countries. And if you look beyond the language it's easy to see how large the differences are.

With that proviso I don't understand why anyone would move to a country where women's rights are under attack from the right and the left; where there is the death penalty; where society is deeply divided on racial, political and economic bases; healthcare is not considered an inalienable right plus it's prohibitively expensive; there are mass shootings; the media is deeply partisan and the last two leaders - Trump and Biden - point to a pattern of electing incompetents.

Yy there are differences between states ... but I wouldn't want to live in a country that has such deep-seated problems.

Boris may be trying to take us down some of those roads but either his party or the electorate will oust him and we'll still be in a better position than the US.

Unless your 'mistake' happens to be conceiving a child that isn't wanted, having an ectopic pregnancy, being raped, having a contraceptive failure, being stealthed (so raped), having a fetus whose abnormalities are incompatible with life, having a fast progressing cancer whilst pregnant...

I live in the US and as an American citizen, I love my country very much. But to say that it's easy to live here without any problems is a very entitled point of view. You have to be very well off financially in order to be insulated from the issues we have here with violence, racial oppression, access to health care, access to reproductive health, the education system ( including University costs ) and police brutality.

It is frustrating to see everyone continue to get on their moral high horse saying they could never even visit a country that denies women abortion. Please remember that a lot of these things don’t represent the whole country and that states like California offer a safe haven for women seeking abortion from other states as well as proposing aid to fund access to these services. Some people in the Us love to hate on California and call it “socialist” but I am proud to live in a state, that despite its faults, tries to care about the well being of its citizens. If you are free to choose which state to live in there are plenty where the vies align more closely to the UK than to other states.

Culturally, the US gives people far more freedom to make mistakes, try again, be different if they want to be.

I think this only applies if you're a white male police officer, and the 'mistake' is shooting a young black unarmed member of the public.

UK! I lived in America for many years but people don't seem to have any respect for differing points of view any more. There are many lovely safe places to live but the schools can be brutal and healthcare costs can be terrifying. You can still make a lot of money there if you are in the right job/area but for all its flaws I was happy to return to England.

@britinnyc it is largely hypocritical, up until a few years ago abortions weren’t legal in parts of this country. I bet the same people saying they’d never set foot in America weren’t out protesting or moving abroad because they couldn’t possibly live somewhere our very own country. Abortions are still only allowed up until 12 weeks in Northern Ireland but still primarily unavailable in most of the country.

I bet the same people saying they’d never set foot in America weren’t out protesting or moving abroad because they couldn’t possibly live somewhere our very own country

I think the move by the Supreme Court to roll back decades of settled law is different, and terrifying, in terms of what other freedoms are potentially going to be 'looked at.'

It's also different because of America's influence in other places, particularly Latin America, where millions of women are already vulnerable. The SC decision is horrifying and the implications for women, harrowing.

This isn't the end: it's the beginning of America being forcibly reshaped into the wet dream of powerful, white, male Republicans.

"When Fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross."

Top cause of death for children in the US: firearms.

I think that’s the only statistic you need to know.

I think the move by the Supreme Court to roll back decades of settled law is different, and terrifying, in terms of what other freedoms are potentially going to be 'looked at.'

Yup. It’s a bit disingenuous to draw parallels
on this one with the UK/Ireland, especially given the positive direction of travel on abortion over here.

I remember learning about Roe v Wade, and various other Supreme Court decisions (Brown v Board of Education, anyone?!), in 11th grade social, and we were taught about them (yes, perhaps wrongly!) almost as if they were immutable; like constitutional amendments.I never, never would have guessed this is where we would be less than 2 decades later.

@britinnyc It was really great to see Newsom and co coming out to offer a safe haven. But realistically travel to CA/OR/WA is financially and practically out of reach for vast swathes of women in the red states that will be impacted by this. Of course the states should not all be tarred with the same brush. It’s a devastating decision nonetheless.

The supreme court ruling is saddening and worrying. But it hasn't banned abortion. It's just said there is no constitutional right to it. Abortion is still available in the vast majority of the US and without the need for 2 doctors to agree you meet some particular standard set down by a bunch of male MPs as is required in England.

The supreme court ruling is saddening and worrying. But it hasn't banned abortion. It's just said there is no constitutional right to it. Abortion is still available in the vast majority of the US and without the need for 2 doctors to agree you meet some particular standard set down by a bunch of male MPs as is required in England.

Stop with the 'it hasn't been banned' bullshit. And the 'it's worse in the UK' bullshit.

It hasn't banned abortion but it's set it in motion for the Republicans to declare abortion to be a federal crime, as soon as they regain power of the white house, congress and the senate. If you don't see that this is the way things are travelling, then 'bless your heart', as they say in America.