Child outside psychiatric hospital

[UndertheCedartree]

I was visiting my DBF at the psychiatric hospital he is in at the moment today. We sat out the front. There was a DC there the whole 2.5 hours I was there with his parents who were visiting another patient.

I thought it was a bit strange. The garden of the male acute ward borders this area and you sporadically hear a lot of swearing at people and shouting. The patients out the front can sometimes shout inappropriate things, there can be fights or aggressiveness as obviously some are very unwell. I personally don't think it's an appropriate environment for a child.

The thing is it's not like there is no where else to go. There is a family room (but would need to be booked) and a short walk away there is a park and a square with benches and cafes/shops. The area outside the hospital has a road for cars to access the reception and the car park too and the DC kept scootering into the road. I expect he was really bored.

What do you think? I can't think of any reason they stayed there.

Well done you trying to stop a parent from seeing their child 👍

That's your opinion. However if someone did this about me I would have been happy. I remember how hard and confusing it was to start with. Maybe you haven't been in that situation.

I wasn't calling myself kind I was saying if someone tried to help my DC in that way I would think they were kind.

I was trying to be kind, though.

Well in the 1950s my mum as a small child used to go & see her grandmother at her workplace after school which was a nurse at a private psychiatric hospital (called an asylum then)..
My mum also saw the patients doing their occupational therapy which in those days was basket weaving type stuff, and sometimes joined in with them.

Her grandmother lived with mum's family so my mum overheard all her stories (confidentiality not such a big deal in those days).
She remembers the huge bunch of keys her grandmother would carry. And that her grandmother had to defend a patient in court who was accused of attempting suicide (illegal then) plus that there were female patients locked up who she helped to set free as there was little wrong with them.

Children seem to adapt to their surroundings a lot more easily than we give them credit for!

Help with what??

Asking complete strangers to comment on the parenting of another couple of complete strangers, during one of the toughest times of their lives, on a public forum??

You're not fooling everyone here you know.

People don’t take their small children to inpatient MH units because they think it’s a fun day out and cheaper than legoland. It’s usually a necessity and some people will be really struggling with the trauma of their loved one being in hospital. I wouldn’t like to pass judgement and I’m sure you wouldn’t have liked that when you were unwell enough to be in hospital. Imagine someone posting on a message board about something you did or did not do. I don’t think what those parents did was worthy of posting about on here. I appreciate your intentions weren’t to be judgmental but it had come across that way.

Sorry I maybe haven't made this clear. You can't freely leave the ward but once on the grounds you can freely leave. Most hospitals I have been at are like that. Do you mean there was a gate to the gardens/car park you had to be buzzed in?

So noone has unsupervised ground leave as there is nothing to stop them leaving the grounds. And yes, that was why I was surprised they stayed on the grounds as they could leave. However, there are benches outside so lots of patients sit out there if they're having a cigarette break rather than going somewhere. But this patient had enough leave to go somewhere with his visitors. That's why it seems likely they didn't know where to go.

Just wondering how do you know the child's relationship to the people looking after them? Just because it hasn't been mentioned, it also sounds like there are serious safeguarding issue for the patients that seem more concerning. Belts and lack of supervision among unstable patients who are described as violent and aggressive? Huge risks involved there that are far more pressing than a 3 year old possibly witnessing some less than ideal language.

There's several units that are near main roads. One near Highgate even has a park next to it. Don't think cassel has a park near.

You would have been happy for some busybody making it harder for your child to visit you?

I was in a psych hospital a couple of years ago. My daughter (just about to turn 1 at the time) came to visit. I would have been furious if anyone had suggested she shouldn’t be there. I couldn’t have managed if I hadn’t got to see her.

Mind your own business.

It's my boyfriend. And he can handle himself fine. Him and another patient got him to go inside eventually. But that's exactly what I mean - 'don't like the language then fuck off somewhere else' , 'could have got their face smashed in' all in front of a child.

It might be an issue to you but noone likes hearing that on or off a ward. It's usually some of the other patients who sort it as you get to a point you've been there a long time and you're not going to put up with staff and other patients being abused.

And no as I said I knew they could deal with it.

How could anyone say for sure in that situation? And I wasn't being judgemental.

I don't think it's wrong but I wondered why they did that. Someone said it was probably because they didn't know the options so I let the ward know so they can tell them. As I said he looked like he could have been scared but of course I can't say for sure. Some children and some adults would be scared and that increases with how much it kicks off. He was also in danger of being run over.

What if you'd been beaten up locked in a day room? Still ok?

But my point wasn't about whether they should visit or not. So many people have completely missed the point.

Sorry what do you mean 'as a nurse yes, this happened to me'?

So if you're see them again and see they rejected the 'kind offer' of the family room. You'll then mind your own won't you?

Have you even read the thread? I'm not trying to stop any child from seeing their parent. What are you on about??

No, not there.

🙄 You've blabbed to the hospital who will now try to put a stop to the outdoor visits. The only option they'll have now is the "family room."

But earlier you said

"Grounds on!y leAve only happens if they are supervise. "

so to go out of the hospital grounds he would need supervision.

nope to get on/off the ward you need to be buzzed in/out. Free to walk around the grounds behind the reception . On the hospital grounds outside where parking, smoking etc depending on patient either supervised or not. To leave hospital grounds to go into the community like the park next door, depends on the patient.

And how could you possibly know how much community unsupervised leave this patient has?

I don’t think anyone should mind their own business if they are concerned about someone who is vulnerable

for many families having a member of their family who is very unwell, the chaos around them is the norm

I work in forensic mh we have no children visiting it’s a blanket rule but will still have families turning up with children insisting it’s fine

If you see what I wrote I said it could be a good thing. I bloody hated 2 years of plastic plates but at least they weren't getting smashed all the time and used as weapons. Belts are fine except when you are whacking someone in the eye with it.

I agree of course everyone is different and generally speaking there shouldn't be blanket bans. Most hospitals I have been in are like that I think this ward goes too far the other way, though. I agree with your points, it is a fine balance. We never had to eat with our fingers we had plastic cutlery. I broke a fork a few times trying to eat the food! Most people that come on an acute are only there for a few weeks anyway. But they do tend to come in very unwell and you get a constant feed of new people.

To be fair there aren't enough staff for proper supervision and people that should be on 1:1 aren't, let alone 2:1.

I agree being outside is nicer than inside in this weather but at least there are lots of toys in the family room. I think he was getting bored being in essentially a carpark for so long. The ward will let them know about the square and park so they have that option. I think they can't remove someone but they have a policy around children visiting. Unfortunately, the seating area is next to the road.

It makes me feel nervous because you don't know how people will react. But I agree, if anyone looked out for my DC I would be happy so I don't know why people get so angry about it.

It makes me feel nervous because you don't know how people will react. But I agree, if anyone looked out for my DC I would be happy so I don't know why people get so angry about it.

Because you're blabbing it across the internet for no good reason, other than to have people discuss this couple's parenting choices at what is probably an awful bloody time for them.

And all under the guise of asking for 'advice'.

The 'advice' was to ring the ward - hardly ground breaking was it??