Child outside psychiatric hospital

[UndertheCedartree]

I was visiting my DBF at the psychiatric hospital he is in at the moment today. We sat out the front. There was a DC there the whole 2.5 hours I was there with his parents who were visiting another patient.

I thought it was a bit strange. The garden of the male acute ward borders this area and you sporadically hear a lot of swearing at people and shouting. The patients out the front can sometimes shout inappropriate things, there can be fights or aggressiveness as obviously some are very unwell. I personally don't think it's an appropriate environment for a child.

The thing is it's not like there is no where else to go. There is a family room (but would need to be booked) and a short walk away there is a park and a square with benches and cafes/shops. The area outside the hospital has a road for cars to access the reception and the car park too and the DC kept scootering into the road. I expect he was really bored.

What do you think? I can't think of any reason they stayed there.

Yes, it's also bad enough being in hospital. If some kind family had decided not to mind their own to help my DC I would have been so grateful.

You haven't displayed an ounce of kindness by starting this public thread OP.

It's pretty nasty actually.

A scooter around a small paved area for over 2.5 hours would not keep most toddlers amused. It was probably why he kept going down the sloped area into the road.

Why do you keep calling yourself kind, op? You didn't help them.

Crisis house and way too many
hospitals over the decades across the country, both in cities and out in the countryside.

Haven’t been to one when I could freely leave well aside from the court yards and gardens. To get on the other side would have to be buzzed out. Once I started unsupervised access always had to sign out/in and be buzzed back in.

Having unsupervised community leave is always amazing. That freedom.
But then If the patient was allowed unsupervised community leave doesn’t make sense they would be on the grounds still

No, I've told the ward. There would have been no point in me saying to them about the family room as it needs to be booked. But the ward will make sure they know for next time as well as other options. I was just looking for advice which I was kindly given and then was able to do something to hopefully help the family. I have never said that about the family and I'm pretty shocked that's what you think! I imagine they were doing their best like I am. I do have an idea which is why I was concerned.

Also your mate is lucky they didn’t get their face smashed in telling other aggressive patients to be mindful of language around the child.
That would have fucked me off tbh and the twat told shut the fuck up. Don’t like the language them fuck off somewhere else.

But like I said I am one of those violent aggressive types and his trying to silence me would have been a massive issue.

im surprised you didn’t give him a nudge to remind him he could be winding up one of the others considering you was so concerned about the child being subjected to aggressive behaviour.

I don't know. He certainly looked startled at times. There was a certain point where there was quite a prolonged period of aggressive verbal abuse and he ran into the reception and hid behind this statue thing they have in there. I can't say for sure he was frightened, he might have just been playing. But some DC would definitely be frightened as would some adults.

As I said yes, at times he could have been frightened but obviously I can't say for sure. But definitely some DC and some adults would be frightened. I'm not sure you really understand if you're saying 'slightly less than PG' - there is a reason noone under 18 is allowed on the ward.

Well so far 89% of people think you're being unreasonable OP.

So are you going to take that onboard?

I can't say for sure

But don't let that stop you from being judgemental and assuming you know the complete situation.

So the child wasn't on his own, didn't look distressed, was scooting up and down on his scooter and was with his parents? And the issue is you think that's wrong?

@UndertheCedartree
Not when I was younger, we visited hospital grounds and day rooms. We did witnessed some people who were very distressed.
I did get locked in a day room when I was around 14 on a duel care ward (MH and medical) with a lady shouting silver spoon at me. She paced the ward constantly and I was putting my seat back after visiting. She was clearly unwell and as a young teen I knew this.
If we didn't visit my grandparent in hospital we would have hardly saw her. This is the reason I chose my career.
As a nurse yes this has happened to me.

@UndertheCedartree the one near Ham Common then? Thought it had closed down years ago! But yes, main road running right past it so not safe for a toddler on that level if left unsupervised.

When I said the child should be the priority I wasn't specifically aiming that at the parents in this situation it was at comments people made. It generally is the policy of the ward. There wasn't a member of staff to quietly mention it to. I phoned when I got home. I know what you mean about an explanation but tbh, it scares adults so not beyond the realms of possibility that it would frighten a DC. I was worried about something physical happening or someone jumping over the fence and the toddler being hurt. I mean perhaps I was being a bit over the top. Anyway all sorted now.

My DC have been there but in the family room. Aside from that we went to the park etc. Anyway as I've already updated actually DC aren't meant to be there (not that that is very obvious) but the family will be told of their options.

And yet you've done just that. It's not about comment on the family but advice about the situation. Well done if you're so amazing that you don't ever need any help.

Omg the patients are allowed real plates like actual humans….and belts so their trousers don’t fall down so they have dignity what ever next?

There are of course times when some people are too unwell to have access to items that can be used to harm but not everyone in a mental health ward is in that category. I’ve worked inwards with plastic cutlery and tables bolted to the floor and ones with real cutlery and plates and normal furniture and other than a very small minority of very unwell people (who should have 2:1 supervision instead) patients like the rest of us responded better to being treated like humans worthy of respect. Let a person keep their own clothes and eat their meals with a real fork from a real plate and they will get better quicker than someone who can’t keep their trousers on eating with their fingers. Removing things like cutlery seems to me to be a way to get away with less actual supervision.

unless is broadmoor or other high securits forensic site a mental health hospitals grounds are open to anyone to walk through - the last one I worked at had a wonderful community garden and a cafe - the hospital staff had no authority to remove anyone from the grounds.

I think being outside in this weather beats being cooped up in a tiny family room with a 3yr old climbing the walls.

I agree that you can hear poor language and so I would not choose to expose my child to that but some people are not concerned about this and I haven’t heard worse than I have heard in the town centre at times.

maybe mention the family room if you are concerned and if there is a outside seating area away from the road but on grounds mention that as well

As I have now said countless times this is nothing to do with if the DC should visit. That wasn't what I have said. It was about the location of the visit.

No, I really shouldn't. Lucky you if you think this is bad!!

Yes, maybe someone did. I guess 'officially' they didn't know as it would have gone against policy. They didn't tell me anything about his visit.

As I already said they don't have unescorted ground leave. Not all hospitals are the same!

As I have said I've already dealt with it. I got the advice I needed and spoke to the ward. If people want to keep posting that's up to them. I'm not being judgemental, I don't understand why someone would be judgemental to this family? Stop telling me what I'm thinking. Maybe you should let it go?

And when people stand by and do nothing they are judged and condemned. Having someone look out for a child can be a good thing, perhaps if people did intervene a bit more some children would be saved from inappropriate situations.

Some of the patients are in the garden of the ward and yep they vault over the fence. It has to be seen to be believed, tbf! Of course they can come outside on leave!

What is a 'bun fight'? I was looking for advice, which I got and I have now spoken to the ward.

Nothing. I already got advice and have phoned the ward.