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Original poster

Child outside psychiatric hospital

239 replies

UndertheCedartree · 23/06/2022 14:30

I was visiting my DBF at the psychiatric hospital he is in at the moment today. We sat out the front. There was a DC there the whole 2.5 hours I was there with his parents who were visiting another patient.

I thought it was a bit strange. The garden of the male acute ward borders this area and you sporadically hear a lot of swearing at people and shouting. The patients out the front can sometimes shout inappropriate things, there can be fights or aggressiveness as obviously some are very unwell. I personally don't think it's an appropriate environment for a child.

The thing is it's not like there is no where else to go. There is a family room (but would need to be booked) and a short walk away there is a park and a square with benches and cafes/shops. The area outside the hospital has a road for cars to access the reception and the car park too and the DC kept scootering into the road. I expect he was really bored.

What do you think? I can't think of any reason they stayed there.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 23/06/2022 16:50

This reply has been deleted

We've removed this post as we didn't feel it was in the spirit of the site.

I don't even know what you are talking about? Why would I 'manufacture' something. I've talked about my experiences many times. This was about this DC. Why is it virtue signalling to want to help? I'm sorry, I'm autistic and really don't understand all that.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 23/06/2022 16:51

TheOrigRights · 23/06/2022 15:56

From Mental Health Act 1983: Code of Practice (available from gov.uk)

Children and young people
11.19 All hospitals should have written policies and procedures regarding the
arrangements for children and young people who visit patients in hospital and for visits to patients who are children or young people. Policies should be drawn up in consultation with local authorities and local safeguarding children boards.

11.20 Local policies should ensure that the best interests and safety of the children and young people concerned are always considered and that visits by children and young people are not allowed if they are not in their best interests. Within that overarching framework, and subject to risk assessments, hospitals should do all they can to facilitate the maintenance of children and young people’s contact with friends and family and offer privacy within which that can happen.

11.21 Information about visiting should be explained to children and young people in a way that they are able to understand. Environments that are friendly to children and young people should be provided.

I am wondering whether the ward even knew this child was on the premises.

No, they didn't.

OP posts:
Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 23/06/2022 16:51

If you wouldn't take your DC to a place like that, fair enough, but others do. It's their choice to decide and they have that right to decide it.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 23/06/2022 16:53

ihatethefuckingmuffin · 23/06/2022 15:58

Ita not just the men either who can be aggressive. I was involved in some serious fights which was one of the reasons I was there. Those early days when I was too aggressive my children didn’t come.

When they did there was always two adults, one in case I kicked off and they could be quickly gotten out of the way whilst the other person either tried getting me back inside or raises the alarm. It was part of my plan and accepted by children services who understood the importance of the children maintaining contact with their only parent.

None of us where able to keep belts as they would have been used as a weapon on others/ourselves. Even those strings in hoodies weren’t allowed.

I'll be honest, this ward is rather lax in this way.

At other hospitals I've been at you couldn't have anything. Yes, strings of hoodies would be cut out.

OP posts:
Sleepingsatellite1 · 23/06/2022 16:53

I remember visiting my mum in one as a child, I just remember loads of people in dressing gowns and staring at a tv.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 23/06/2022 16:54

Rosehugger · 23/06/2022 16:39

Was the child on their own or not? From the OP it looks like they were in the garden with their parents.

Yes, they were with their parents. They were only approx 3!

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 23/06/2022 16:56

ihatethefuckingmuffin · 23/06/2022 15:58

Ita not just the men either who can be aggressive. I was involved in some serious fights which was one of the reasons I was there. Those early days when I was too aggressive my children didn’t come.

When they did there was always two adults, one in case I kicked off and they could be quickly gotten out of the way whilst the other person either tried getting me back inside or raises the alarm. It was part of my plan and accepted by children services who understood the importance of the children maintaining contact with their only parent.

None of us where able to keep belts as they would have been used as a weapon on others/ourselves. Even those strings in hoodies weren’t allowed.

I only ever had a fight with a woman once, mostly it was with the men! But yes, that is true. But men are a lot more aggressive.

OP posts:
worraliberty · 23/06/2022 16:56

You know what I have thought about this and when I was ill it was an awful time. If some kind person had done something to try and help my DC with the situation I would have been eternally grateful. So for that reason, no I haven't minded my own business.

Yes, very 'kind' you are to start a public thread on a public forum inviting people to opine on this family and the parental decisions made, at what could be the worst time of their lives.

There's every chance they could spot this thread and if they do, they'd recognise themselves immediately and see everyone putting their tuppence ha'penny in.

Catch yourself on OP Hmm

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 23/06/2022 16:57

TheOrigRights · 23/06/2022 16:08

For all the people saying it didn't harm them and in fact made them stronger, have a greater understanding etc, I imagine there are swathes more who wish someone had considered whether it was appropriate to be exposed to what could be quite frightening behaviour from adults.
That they were confused, it kept them awake at night, it scared them.

I think it's absolutely correct that there are safeguarding guidelines in place.
The people who are caring for someone with an acute psychiatric condition are best placed to manage how best a child can maintain a relationship with that person.

I agree.

OP posts:
JellyBellyNelly · 23/06/2022 16:57

HappyBinosaur · 23/06/2022 14:39

I was that child many years ago and the person I was visiting was my mum. This happened on and off throughout my childhood. I am glad my dad took me to visit her and would hate to think others were judging my family.

Me and you both. 💐

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 23/06/2022 16:58

TheOrigRights · 23/06/2022 16:10

I've found it hard enough to manage the feelings of my 13yo son visiting his Grandad who has dementia. In fact the care home advised against ME visiting when he was displaying sexual disinhibition.

I'm not surprised. I've experienced that a lot and it's not nice!

OP posts:
Sleepingsatellite1 · 23/06/2022 16:58

I’d have been more devastated if I hadn’t been able to go as a kid because the last time I had seen my mum is when I found her overdosing so I needed to see she was alive and kicking, doesn’t sound like the toddler was too phased by being there.

ihatethefuckingmuffin · 23/06/2022 16:59

UndertheCedartree · 23/06/2022 16:44

No the ward didn't know. You don't have to be let onto the grounds you can just enter them. They would know if you had escaped if you left the ward. The men generally vault over the garden fence. So honestly could have landed on the toddler.

Staff wear hospital uniforms at this hospital. In fact that has been the case at all the hospital's I've been to. Anyway, my DBF would know if he was being supervised anyway!

Show quote history

The more your posting the more you should be submitting a formal complaint to the CQC.

Could also be that staff member on a ward didn’t know about the child but others did. Although due to patient confidentiality could they even confirm something about a patients visit?

surely these grounds are overseen to stop potentially aggressive patients walking into the community to either be agreesive or buy prohibited goods?

gamerchick · 23/06/2022 17:00

It's got nothing to do with you OP. You've been told repeatedly. You're being judgemental about a family situation you know nothing about. Let it go.

Tilltheend99 · 23/06/2022 17:01

*there

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 23/06/2022 17:02

Dixiechickonhols · 23/06/2022 16:13

I’d assume person child was visiting couldn’t legally leave ward so all the park suggestions irrelevant. It’s hot maybe they wanted to be outside not in family room or it was booked.
It’s not ideal but if they need to visit family member or person that is visiting is the child’s carer then they may have no choice but to bring them. It’s a hospital at end of day.

They weren't on the ward and yes, they had leave. It's true it is hot so they maybe wanted to be outside. There were 2 parents so it wasn't necessary he was there but maybe they just all wanted to be together. The ward is going to let the family know about their options. It is a hospital, yes, but that doesn't always mean it is suitable for a DC.

OP posts:
RooniIWazlib · 23/06/2022 17:02

What are you hoping to get from this thread now?

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 23/06/2022 17:03

I mean depending on the circumstances.

OP posts:
SinnermanGirl · 23/06/2022 17:08

UndertheCedartree · 23/06/2022 14:50

Yes, I know it's not my business but it did feel quite uncomfortable. My DBF was trying to stop people shouting aggressively etc in front of the DC and we stopped him shooting into the road a few times.

Yes it is your business. Keeping children safe needs to be everyone’s business. I don’t know what’s wrong with people who choose to turn a blind eye to a child at risk of harm but it explains a lot.

Tilltheend99 · 23/06/2022 17:09

UndertheCedartree · 23/06/2022 16:56

I only ever had a fight with a woman once, mostly it was with the men! But yes, that is true. But men are a lot more aggressive.

Show quote history

This thread is out of hand. Op you have said the patients are inside and can’t leave unless they jump the garden gate and squash whoever is stood the other side Hmm

The aggressiveness of the men and what they do or don’t do with their belts can’t possibly be relevant to the welfare of the children OUTSIDE with their parents scootering.

worraliberty · 23/06/2022 17:09

RooniIWazlib · 23/06/2022 17:02

What are you hoping to get from this thread now?

Some attention and a pat on the back by the sound of it.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 23/06/2022 17:15

ihatethefuckingmuffin · 23/06/2022 16:18

If this hospital really exists they need reporting to the relevant authorities tbh.

Patients allowed belts which could easily be used as weapons or ligatures.

staff not knowing where patients are for hours on end, or what they are doing.

Very serious issues that could lead to the deaths of various people whether patient, visitor, staff or member of public.

Yes, it certainly exists! I was a patient there for almost a year and I wasn't that psychotic that I imagined the whole thing!!

As I said I find that ward pretty lax compared to other places I've been. They even have real plates not plastic! They apparently risk assess everyone individually, which can be a good thing but personally I would outright things like belts?

How many different hospitals have you been a patient at? They are all different.

Staff not knowing where patients are for hours on end or what they are doing? You must be joking. Everytime a patient goes out on leave noone knows where they are!!

OP posts:
RooniIWazlib · 23/06/2022 17:19

worraliberty · 23/06/2022 17:09

Some attention and a pat on the back by the sound of it.

Show quote history

A bun fight and a pat on the back

AnnaFF · 23/06/2022 17:20

Tilltheend99 · 23/06/2022 16:46

What’s wrong with visiting a psychiatric hospital?

If it’s acceptable for children to visit their parents in prison who could be their for manslaughter, drugs, or anything why is it unacceptable to visit a probably law abiding relative suffering a mental health problem?

Show quote history

I think if there is a lot of shouting & swearing then a young child might be frightened. If there isn't then it is fine.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 23/06/2022 17:20

Yerroblemom1923 · 23/06/2022 16:24

I don't think it's a bad thing to bring your child to visit a relative or family friend. Mental health is something which we are all aware of these days and shouldn't be hidden away or children shielded from (unless it's deemed likely to traumatise them, of course)
Whereabouts was the hospital, OP? London?

I completely agree. I'm just talking about a specific situation not visiting per se. I don't want to say exactly but in the south east.

OP posts: