Would you have cried?

[SleepingStandingUp]

Went to Greggs to buy sausage rolls, counted out the cash and put it in the side, turned away to sort something in the buggy, picked up my sausage rolls.

She says you haven't paid. Not rude just politely firm

I insisted I had as I'd paid cash, remember putting it on the counter.

She maintained I def hadn't as till hadn't opened.

I'm checking the buggy in case I've put it back my pockets, my bra the lot. No cash. So I'm saying but I must have, I don't have it any more and start getting upset.

She calls a colleague over, someone offers to pay and by now I'm properly crying because I'm embarrassed someone might think I'm trying to steal sausage rolls.

Someone else offers to pay, staff again refuse to take the money and basically put it through the til as paid.

But by now I'm properly blubbering and saying I'm sorry and that I don't want them to think I'd try and steal it etc. They were v kind, reassured me it was prob a customer who'd picked it up and offered me a cup of tea.

Humiliated enough I thank them and leave.

But as I'm walking through town looking like I've just cried it occurs to me again that this isn't a proportional response, and that everyone must think I'm weird to cry so easily and that at 40 with three kids I should do better.

Is it reasonable to say that I'm being pathetic and need to toughen up already and anyone else would have breezily just laughed it off?

Or am I being unreasonable to myself and my response to stress is normal?

I shed a quite tear today when i got told off at the past office for leaning my bike in the doorway. I just didn't want my bike to be stolen while I went in. Off course I was completely in the wrong! I just felt like it was just the icing on the cake after a bad day.

No you were embarrassed and it’s perfectly ok. This nearly happened to me in the Entertainer yesterday while trying to pay for £20 worth of toys. Just forget about it maybe don’t use that greggs for a week and no one will remember you

You’re not weird OP I think as soon as someone offered to pay (if not before when “ accused” of something I didn’t do) I would def have cried xx you’re just a human being xx it’s kind of nice they offered as well xxx take care and hope you have a nice evening xx

Another retail worker here. Boob money is nasty.....shoe money is worse. I've been handed both.

OP I cry at the drop of a hat, and this would have without doubt set me off! I'm a calm, together person, I just happen to cry easily especially with confrontation. Some of us are wired like this, don't worry at all and big hugs.

Have you ever considered that you might have ADHD? I am currently waiting to be assessed and have similar issues with losing things, forgetting things even when I set reminders, getting distracted, struggling to stay on top of things etc.

You were caught off guard.

I'm not sure if the current me would cry in this situation.

There was times where I was feeling low that little issues threw me.

I get embarrassed thinking about those things now.

Not very helpful

This would depend on 2 things:

1. How old are your kids?


2. How much sleep are you getting?

YABU to be so harsh towards yourself. You got flustered and cried. That's OK, you are just a person doing their best. I once refused a free biscuit for some stressed reason. I also cried. It was a bad day. The woman behind the counter was a bit but so what?

I'm not a big lying twat like our PM, I'm just an ordinarily reasonable woman who occasionally has a bad day.

Give yourself a break @SleepingStandingUp

YANBU. I once bought some loo roll from a cheap shop and carried it into Waitrose to pick up some food. At the till I obviously didn’t put the loo roll through as it was from a different shop and the member of staff challenged me about it. Luckily i had a receipt but I was humiliated and furious that she didn’t know what loo roll Waitrose sell (it was very obviously cheapo and not a brand they stock) and fought back tears as I left the store.

OP, I'm assuming you have a baby what with the buggy mention, probably hormonal. I'd cry over, and kill for, a sausgae roll when I'm due on. I'd put it down to a funny story (evenutally)

Yes, I cry easily too and would have cried at this. It was embarrassing and frustrating! Don't be too hard on yourself.
It does sound like you were surrounded by lots of lovely people though, offering to pay and giving you cups of tea.

You think it's normal for most adults not to cry?

I think it's not normal to have such little imagination.

It's very common for some people to get tearful when they feel embarrassed and awkward. It's a bit like blushing.

I dont think you should be so hard on yourself. Seems to me like a culmination of things that has just led to the final straw. Get yourself home, in your safe space, and be kind to you.... 😊

I’m peri menopausal so there’s various responses this could have received from me

threatening to kill the cashier
threatening to kill everyone in the shop
holding the other customers hostage until someone owned up to stealing it
smashing the counter
crying
crying hysterically
storming off and calling them all tw*ts
forgetting I’d even paid
paying twice
ordering another bag of sausage rolls and eating the entire lot without coming up for air
wandering off and forgetting why I’d even gone into greggs in the first place

Crying is normal however crying in this situation is definitely not normal!

I can’t see anything wrong with money in my bra.
why is it causing repulsiveness?

Your post says “the buggy”. If your child is young enough that the buggy is part of tue equation, you’re never unreasonable to suddenly cry.

Im glad they were nice and offered you a cup of tea!

(Mind are much older now - it gets easier!)

@MolkosTeenageAngst @SleepingStandingUp this was my thought, too, especially OP when you started berating yourself about being "useless". That's a really common feeling in people with undiagnosed, untreated ADHD.

It is the kind of incident that on its own isn't a big deal, but could be the straw that breaks the camels back.

Don't worry about it, the people there who tried to help were being kind not judging you. Hope you enjoyed your sausage rolls, tomorrow is another day.

This wouldn’t make me cry. Maybe your a bit depressed or hormonal.

Are the assistant to check CCTV. She'll soon remember.
I remember 20-odd years ago as a student buying bread in a baker. I handed over £10. The woman gave me change of £5. I told her I had given her £10. I knew I had because I had got £10 from the cash machine in order to buy the bread. She did relent but treated me like a criminal and asked for my phone number in case the till was wrong. I should have complained.

For future, add a payment card to your phone. I don't know about you but I forget my wallet often, my phone never, so I always have a means to pay.