Would you have cried?

[SleepingStandingUp]

Went to Greggs to buy sausage rolls, counted out the cash and put it in the side, turned away to sort something in the buggy, picked up my sausage rolls.

She says you haven't paid. Not rude just politely firm

I insisted I had as I'd paid cash, remember putting it on the counter.

She maintained I def hadn't as till hadn't opened.

I'm checking the buggy in case I've put it back my pockets, my bra the lot. No cash. So I'm saying but I must have, I don't have it any more and start getting upset.

She calls a colleague over, someone offers to pay and by now I'm properly crying because I'm embarrassed someone might think I'm trying to steal sausage rolls.

Someone else offers to pay, staff again refuse to take the money and basically put it through the til as paid.

But by now I'm properly blubbering and saying I'm sorry and that I don't want them to think I'd try and steal it etc. They were v kind, reassured me it was prob a customer who'd picked it up and offered me a cup of tea.

Humiliated enough I thank them and leave.

But as I'm walking through town looking like I've just cried it occurs to me again that this isn't a proportional response, and that everyone must think I'm weird to cry so easily and that at 40 with three kids I should do better.

Is it reasonable to say that I'm being pathetic and need to toughen up already and anyone else would have breezily just laughed it off?

Or am I being unreasonable to myself and my response to stress is normal?

I'd like to say I wouldn't cry. But maybe if that was my last money for a treat and I can't spend it again... Maybe I've just had so much going on that I'm on my knees... maybe then I would.

I think people are a bit more recognising that everyone has those days that just push them over the edge, and we're able to be a little kinder when that happens in front of us.

I had a few episodes of crying in public over seemingly minor things when my dc's were very young - I think I had pnd and sometimes became very overwhelmed easily.

Dont beat yourself up OP

You're not weird. Something similar happened to me in a motor store (small business) noticed they had cctv and suggested they check that. My money had accidentally been swiped under the counter by another customer. In the time it took to sort out I began to doubt myself, my palms were sweaty , my face red and my heart pounding.

Unlikely to be honest. Only if I was really hungry and was having a really horrible day so I was already on the edge. But then, I would always have another means of payment (phone) so would just pay again and be a bit grumpy!

It probably wasnt about the situation though its what tipped you over the edge

I cried once because the bus to work didnt turn up, there was another one due 20 mins later, I wouldnt even be late for work but I sat in the bus stop crying because it tipped me over the edge of a rough day in a rough week in a rough month etc

Thank you for all the kind replies, I'll reply properly when my phone gets charged. Half dead phone to add to my "things that happened today" list

I got massively stressed when customers reorganised the queuing system at Waitrose and someone accused me of queue jumping. I didn’t go back there for years.
Don’t worry.

she would nip her fag out and put the dowpie/dowpee in her bra for after.

It wasn't me who asked what dowpies are but I'm curious to know😊

That explanation is as clear as mud to me!

Fag ends, cigarette butts?
Sounds dangerous and smelly!

Well the twins don't really sleep through solidly so I'm not sure I've been not tired in nearly three years if you add in a twin pregnancy

She could tell she hadn't opened the till as once she does it stops saying the amount to pay so def no way she put it in without realising

That's what I was thinking-but I was also thinking for after -so a partially smoked one?

No I just literally didn't have ANY cash on me or a card. Which was fine. We were grabbing a sausage roll (I had £4 on me) then catching the bus cto town to get money but in a town I don't live, I couldn't have fetched money without a 45 minute bus ride ea h way home or at least a 45 minute round-trip to the larger town centre

Lucky you weren't in the Greggs then 🥺

💐for whatever is going on @Onedayatatime24799

Tbf as I said the staff were the ones who suggested someone had taken it when I put it down so they didn't accuse me of stealing it, I just felt like people were probably making judgements that I steal sausage rolls.

@Baggyeye it was a bit odd transaction though normally you have full concentration on giving them the money and them putting the item on the counter to take. well yes but I was counting them oeny out, she put two sausages down, I took them, she said there was only two, I put them back and told her not to use four bags, whilst also keeping an eye on the twins in the buggy. It was just not 100% focused and normally I'd be waving around a card so wouldn't put it down so it wouldn't have mattered

If you were going to town to take money out then surely you had a card on you?? not with Natwest, you just need to app to withdraw cash but it has to be a NATWEST cash point.

🙄 @PurpleButterflyWings as I said the staff were fine. I didn't take the offer to pay because the manager or shift supervisor stepped in, told the ladies it was sorted, gave me my sausages and offered me a drink whilst I calmed down

Don't need a card with Natwest App

I put it down to count it, I would have picked it up to pass it as they're still working behind perspex screens so you def need to hand it through. But when it just wasn't there I assumed she'd reached round or thought oh maybe I handed it straight to her and couldn't remember. I could remember counting it onto the top but nothing else but it's such a common automated action, it's easy to not remember doing it specifically which is what confided me. Felt like I was going crazy.

I didn't have my card. I was getting cash out later with the app. I feel like an advert for Natwest but with the Natwest App you can get cash from THEIR machines without a card.

I don't normally keep cash there, it was a "I searched everywhere so much I even checked my bra where I shove random stuff like kids toys and special stones the kids find"

There's just lots of squish space. The phone I wasn't entirely sober. The toys are at the top where it isn't so fitted. It's not like it's down the front.

I had no idea my NatWest app would allow me to withdraw cash

But I am intrigued that someone obviously tech savvy doesn’t have Apple Pay or similar on their phone?

That's the worry.

I tried them but I'm hopeless at remembering to take medication, it just slips out of my head and then that's worse because obv you shouldn't be stopping and starting again every few daya

Anything that I struggle with like this
i just think

i am doing it for my children. I am doing it for my children

and it definitely motivates and focuses the kind

Could you set up payments from your phone? (Google pay/Apple Pay) Might be less stressful in future if you have that extra backup as well 😊

If it happened to me now then I probably wouldn't cry, I'd probably more likely make a tit of myself by being rude and angry.
But you mention a buggy - I know if it had happened to me during my maternity leave while I had a baby with me I probably would have been upset as I found going out with DD a challenge and something like this would have thrown me. I was also more emotional in the year after having a baby (not sure if it was breastfeeding that caused this or just the change in lifestyle).