Would you have cried?

[SleepingStandingUp]

Went to Greggs to buy sausage rolls, counted out the cash and put it in the side, turned away to sort something in the buggy, picked up my sausage rolls.

She says you haven't paid. Not rude just politely firm

I insisted I had as I'd paid cash, remember putting it on the counter.

She maintained I def hadn't as till hadn't opened.

I'm checking the buggy in case I've put it back my pockets, my bra the lot. No cash. So I'm saying but I must have, I don't have it any more and start getting upset.

She calls a colleague over, someone offers to pay and by now I'm properly crying because I'm embarrassed someone might think I'm trying to steal sausage rolls.

Someone else offers to pay, staff again refuse to take the money and basically put it through the til as paid.

But by now I'm properly blubbering and saying I'm sorry and that I don't want them to think I'd try and steal it etc. They were v kind, reassured me it was prob a customer who'd picked it up and offered me a cup of tea.

Humiliated enough I thank them and leave.

But as I'm walking through town looking like I've just cried it occurs to me again that this isn't a proportional response, and that everyone must think I'm weird to cry so easily and that at 40 with three kids I should do better.

Is it reasonable to say that I'm being pathetic and need to toughen up already and anyone else would have breezily just laughed it off?

Or am I being unreasonable to myself and my response to stress is normal?

So maybe your thread title could have been "Do you think this is a sign of depression". And the answer would be yes - crying over seemingly small matters can be a sign of depression. But it can also be a very normal reaction to a bad day, or being over tired and 100 other things.

Maybe just keep a note of when these things happen.

I was on ADs for a while. I'm off them now and admit that I do feel worried that I am heading towards depression again when life gets on top of me. Keeping a note of when and why it happens helps keep things in perspective i.e. I don't KEEP crying, I had a bad week where I cried every day, but now things have picked up again.

@TheOrigRights

not “seen” you for ages!!

You’ve not been in the Health forum for ages. Miss your updates!

You keep stones in your bra that the kids find!? You also store toys in your bra This warrants its own thread! You also need a better bag, I feel like that would improve your life considerably.

Not a great advert for NatWest as withdrawing cash without a card didn't help you in the shop. Maybe install pay by phone.

Eeeek, I don't know who you are!

Name change!

But I have engaged O. The health board

Aw @LunaAndHerMoonDragons How lovely 😊

Of course you were upset. I’d have been mortified. And you know you wouldn’t steal, were sure you paid and yet cannot prove it? Frustrating. And it’s the public humiliation. Don’t beat yourself up over it.

@ungratefuldead my third isn't that young thankfully but thank you x

@Onedayatatime24799jist a working class area in the Black Country. One was a woman late 30s possibly on a lunch break, one was an older lady (retired age). I did pass o ntbe kindness by giving a lady my bus ticket earlier. She seemed confused by the gesture but did accept.

You're right, they should probably ban me from the shop for staff abuse. I mean imagine them having to watch people have emotions. I could offer to pay for the trauma therapy for the two staff members involved.

I don't work, I'm a SAHP 😳

@EveningOverRooftops thank you 😂

I can’t believe you accepted strangers picking up your £3.30 tab, from Greggs of all places i.e. people go there presumably for a dirt cheap snack or lunch. With that extra £3.30 should could have brought herself a treat lunch somewhere much nicer

yes yes I know that loads of mumsnetters think Greggs is heaven on a plate but seriously…. For that extra £3.30 she could have got a really nice baguette from a Pret or an independent bakery!

It's almost as if they suddenly knew what had happened to the money... I mean I think she just wanted to deescalate the situation over £3. Shop was busy, there were people looking, she wanted to get her shop back functional and I think sensed that I clearly didn't know where the money was. She suggested the same as @SpiderinaWingMirror which was a tactful way to close the discussion whilst being kind

So bottom of the screen it says "get cash". It gives you a pin and you go to a cash point, press enter, then the pin and basically follow the directions. It's a lifesaver if you're like me and forever misplacing your card.

I have Google Pay (android phone) but every time I go to pay for something I have to reload my card o nand type in the three digit security thing off the back. It takes forever and if I can't remember the number it's pointless. I feel like I must be doing something wrong

I just can't remember. So I'll set a reminder. Then it'll beep but someone will be crying or need a nappy or be climbing so I silence it and then it goes again in ten minutes and then someone needs something else until its forgotten. See also appts unless it's written down in three places and remembering to drink enough drinks in the day

You need to remember the 3 number security!

if you can remember your bank pin, you can do this OP

where there’s a will, there’s a way!

You had a bit of an off day, a random situation and you had a bit of a cry. You’ve got young kids and I’m sure you’re exhausted, there’s nothing wrong wrong with things getting a bit on top of you unexpectedly. The fact the staff and the lovely ladies in the shop rallied around to help shows how normal it is. Be as kind to yourself as they were.

How many children do you have?! how old are they?

Wel I went into town afterwards and Brough shoes and lunch hwoth cash I got from Natwest with my app so I still love them. Google Pay and I aren't friends. It's a dick and I have to keep reinstalling a card with the three digit no.

I might have to do a "what's in your bra right now" thread next time 😂

I suspect it would be tumbleweed OP!

OK, firstly no one picked it up. Two people offered. I think I said "thank you but no it's fine" and some blubbery jumble to the one lady (I later thanked her again) and the cashier said no to the second lady. The shop just sorted it (presumably put down as waste or similar).

Secondly, we don't have Pret.

Thirdly, I don't go to Greggs because I can only afford £3.30 for sausage rolls so I'd have gone there paid for someone in my position and not though "golly, I could have used that to go to Pret!"

Finally, had the shop not cleared it, what would be your preference? Walk out the shop without paying again leaving four sausage rolls to be binned, or accept the kindness of a stranger on the assumption that they know they can afford it?

I'd have offered to bank transfer it if I'd needed to have accepted their kindness but what if I didn't Internet bank or I didn't have that in my account?

@Ohthatsexciting I don't think you ought to put tumbleweed down your bra, it looks prickly.

@Ohthatsexciting I'll reinstate it when I find my card, I do actually remember this three digit code. But I've lost my bank card. Again. I get through bank cards like crazy.

Only three kids - one in primary and the twins are 2.5

You sound like you have a lot on your plate and I'm sorry some posters aren't being very sympathetic.
I could see myself crying in that situation due to the pressure, especially if I was having a stressful day.
Maybe take it as a learning experience to always hand cash over directly to the cashier and treat yourself to a nice cup of tea and some me time.

Yes will def never leave it in the counter again @NotMyselfWithoutCoffee. I thought it was a classier greggs than my local too lol. Also to get bloody Google Pay sorted when I find my bank card