Would you have cried?

[SleepingStandingUp]

Went to Greggs to buy sausage rolls, counted out the cash and put it in the side, turned away to sort something in the buggy, picked up my sausage rolls.

She says you haven't paid. Not rude just politely firm

I insisted I had as I'd paid cash, remember putting it on the counter.

She maintained I def hadn't as till hadn't opened.

I'm checking the buggy in case I've put it back my pockets, my bra the lot. No cash. So I'm saying but I must have, I don't have it any more and start getting upset.

She calls a colleague over, someone offers to pay and by now I'm properly crying because I'm embarrassed someone might think I'm trying to steal sausage rolls.

Someone else offers to pay, staff again refuse to take the money and basically put it through the til as paid.

But by now I'm properly blubbering and saying I'm sorry and that I don't want them to think I'd try and steal it etc. They were v kind, reassured me it was prob a customer who'd picked it up and offered me a cup of tea.

Humiliated enough I thank them and leave.

But as I'm walking through town looking like I've just cried it occurs to me again that this isn't a proportional response, and that everyone must think I'm weird to cry so easily and that at 40 with three kids I should do better.

Is it reasonable to say that I'm being pathetic and need to toughen up already and anyone else would have breezily just laughed it off?

Or am I being unreasonable to myself and my response to stress is normal?

Depends what else has been going on. My car
Broke down recently and instead of thinking 'well that's annoying, let's call the AA' I had a complete meltdown.

It was the end of a very emotional week,
I was tired, just wanted to get home.

Don't beat yourself up over it x

She kept her what in there?

Totally normal. We all have off days. Stop second guessing yourself. You're fine. Now just give yourself a big hug and think about something nicer.

Sounds like you were stressed out already and this tipped you over. Nothing to be embarrassed about. That was sweet that they offered you tea.

Sounds like you are juggling lots, I'd have stepped forward to pay for you too. You just got a bit flustered and embarrassed, don't worry about it. I have 3 small children myself and have lots going on working ft etc etc, sometimes it doesn't take much to make you cry, it's not necessarily the thing that happened that is making you cry as such, if other things are going on too, all it takes is something tiny to set you off. Once upon a time you know you would have just laughed at yourself for the same thing or just been firm with "i left the money right there!". Don't think anything more of it.

I probably would have got quite flustered and cried in that situation too. It's not the money or the sausage rolls per se, but the not knowing what had just happened, the feeling of being out of control.

@SleepingStandingUp when you say:

"Someone else offers to pay, staff again refuse to take the money and basically put it through the til as paid."

Do you mean that you got the sausage rolls for "free" - ie they allowed you to take the sausage rolls but would not accept any payment from anyone who offered?

I'm just wondering whether it might be the case that your money had gone into the til, but it was the cashier who was mistaken and said it hadn't. Or a member of staff pocketed your cash and then felt guilty - possibly with the intention of "finding" your money later.

It's just really odd that presumably the cashier must have watched you count out the money but then say you haven't paid.

Someone must know what happened to it.

How could you be going into town to get cash out without a bank card?

I probably would have cried to be honest.

Couldn't they have checked their cctv for you?

I think you are fine. Normally I would have prob got angry but if I was having an off day it's q possible I would have cried. Don't worry too much about what people think about it.

Her dowpies/dowpees

she would nip her fag out and put the dowpie/dowpee in her bra for after.

Op you sound just like I did before I went on anti depressants.

I have a theory that we all have our own personal flashpoints.

One of mine would be shoplifting actually. I would be mortified if accused.

One person I know, her small brand new car[to her I think] got scratched. She rarely has anything new in her life. She became quite inconsoluble. Yet is calm at just about everything else in her life.

Oh bless your cottons. Yes, I would have too. Hope you're okay now.

OP I'm pretty sure you're in the same Fb mum group as me for babies of a certain age: if so, two of your 3 kids are under 3 years. I only have 2 under 3 and the other day I cried because I'd left the house with two different socks on....

No doubt you are tired, have a degree of 'toddler' stress and probably still up in the night once or twice.

Is it 'normal' to have cried? Probably not! But does that mean something is wrong with you? Also, absolutely not! We all have our off days - if it's happening regularly then perhaps worth a deeper look but if this is a one off then id brush yourself down and try (if you can with 3 kids) to have a relaxing afternoon!!

A lovely lady paid for my bus when London was switching to no cash, it was pissing down down with rain, baby Dts in double buggy, couldn't find my card. This was before you could use your phone. I was stressed, overly tired and emotional. I still think about how nice she was. I offered her the cash I think it was £1.50 but she wouldn't take it.

I reciprocate now when I can. Karma and all that.

Yes your right - silly, disproportionate and unnecessary to start blabbing. It’s abusive to the staff really, for them to have to deal with such histrionics

Why do you keep posting to put the boot in? You've made your point (and it was a pretty mean-spirited one to start with). You're just coming across as spiteful. Knock it off ffs.

I agree. We all have little things that tip us over. It’s not the little things but the big thing over there stopping us groom being able to deal with the little thing.

im dealing with some shit here and the most silly of things has made me cry this week. My needle snapping when I finally got a rhythm going stitching a hem.

the slugs eating my courgettes.

its not that that was the issue but the social isolation, boredom and stress from my idle brain plus a hefty helping of overwhelm (chores, lack of physical or emotional support) that’s tipping me over. I’m between a rock and a hard place and there’s only so many things you can learn, books you can read and things to clean before it bubbles out because your needs aren’t being met or you’re overwhelmed.

I feel for the OP and curse the fucker that stole her cash to step on Lego, plugs and slugs barefoot for a week.

Depends what else you are going through and how your em working are. I’d probs cry if I was having a shitty time. Don’t be hard in yourself

I might have down-out of frustration & it making me doubt myself!

So in the end no one else paid but you were still allowed to take the sausage rolls?

It's almost as if they suddenly knew what had happened to the money...

Some right grouchy fucks on here, don't worry OP most people irl have more empathy than some of the troll types you find on here who always have to stick the boot in.

I wouldn't cry now if it happened, when my son was small I definitely would have, I was going through hell at the time and anything could set me off.

It’s a tit not a nutsack

Whereas your children will grow up with no empathy.

I'd have gone beet red.

I wouldn't judge you. I'd think you were an exhausted mum that was sick of things disappearing when you put them down. I cried when I couldn't find DSs bottle that I'd just made once. He was crying and I thought I was losing my mind. It was infront of a white thing and blending in 🤣

I think your experience shows there are far more kind people in the world than knobs
Maybe someone picked up your money thinking it was their change?