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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband going to Glastonbury when I’m 35 weeks pregnant

153 replies

Firsttimetrier · 22/06/2022 20:02

My husband has been offered a chance to go to Glastonbury this weekend. He wouldn’t normally be able to go due to the nature of his work, but he’s got the weekend off.

Am I being unreasonable saying he shouldn’t go as I’m 35 weeks pregnant with my first child?

I’ve got gestational diabetes, had issues with reduced movements and discussing with my midwife if I’ll be induced at 38 weeks. So it’s not the easiest pregnant but I am aware I could still have 3 weeks before anything kicks off.

OP posts:
ApplesandBunions · 22/06/2022 21:06

Not a chance in hell would my DH be going.

Original poster
Firsttimetrier · 22/06/2022 21:12

He is being given a ticket by his friend who works high up in Glastonbury. This is how he went 4 years ago as well.

OP posts:
miltonj · 22/06/2022 21:13

I wouldn't like this. You're at the stage where you need your birth partner to be easily contactable, and the signal is shit. That's if he even looks at his phone, even the most reliable of people, lose themselves in the fun/escape of a festival. It also takes several days to recover from Glastonbury so it's like a week of him gone/not really contributing much afterwards.

AtillatheHun · 22/06/2022 21:13

@orwellwasright i think I love you
(op should stay home and listen to Wings right?)

mrsbouquett · 22/06/2022 21:17

Yabu if you need him To back he can come back. If he was working and you plan on having a 1 hour labour he could miss if he got stuck in traffic near home or Will he be under house arrest until the birth now?

Original poster
Firsttimetrier · 22/06/2022 21:23

Being in a field at a festival 3 hours away, drunk with patchy signal is a bit different to him potentially missing the birth of his child because he was on his way home from work.

Also, he works 15mins from the hospital and 10mins from home, so bit of a non-comparison.

OP posts:
Reallyreallyborednow · 22/06/2022 21:24

*And there it is. Thanks for not disappointing.

The typical Mumsnet cat-bum's-mouth response to the idea that someone who drinks (as OP's husband does) might actually want to drink at a festival. Get that pathetic man into AA immediately!*

crikey you’re desperate to paint MN as disapproving harridans 😂.

he might want to drink. He might not want to drink on the off chance his wife goes into labour and he needs to get home, especially considering rail strikes.

nothing to do with being anti alcohol or think he needs AA 🙄. It’s a reasonable decision.

If he wants to take the admittedly small risk that he misses the birth in favour of getting pissed, his choice.

User3568975431146 · 22/06/2022 21:25

You're only 35 weeks. He should go any enjoy himself without making him feel guilty.

Enjoy the peace and quiet!

Flittingaboutagain · 22/06/2022 21:25

My first came within four hours of first contraction at 35 weeks with no warning. So I would not have wanted to labour alone!

mrsbouquett · 22/06/2022 21:26

What is he missed the text for 30 minutes and traffic accident delayed him 30minutes….
but talk to him surely, your having a baby with him I don’t understand why you can’t just explain your concerns if it bothers you that much

dolphinsarentcommon · 22/06/2022 21:27

No way. I'd be livid he'd even consider it.

SoloIVFer · 22/06/2022 21:27

Just to add, sober or not, it's not easy to leave Glastonbury. There's 200,000 people, you might have an hours walk back to your tent and then a further hours walk to the carpark. Gates are closed. It isn't easy to get in and out. If he goes, let him drink because he's likely to not be able to get out anyway! What does he want to do?

timestheyarechanging · 22/06/2022 21:42

I'd not be bothered, in fact my ExH did go when I was heavily pregnant 20 odd years ago. We'd bought tickets with several friends but I sold mine when I discovered I was pregnant. I fell pregnant as soon as I came off the pill which was a bit of a surprise.

He went off with our friends, I got on a train to my cousin's in Cornwall (we lived in London) and enjoyed a few days relaxing, walking and going to a spa, it was fabulous.

Tbh I would have felt bad if I stopped him from going as it was absolutely magically brilliant in the late 80s - it never entered my mind.

Neither of us had mobile phones and glad to had no coverage at that time so I wouldn't have been able to contact him.

We both got home the same day. Shared our experiences. He caught up on his sleep then took over all house chores for the rest of my pregnancy and drive from SE London to Brick Lane beigel whenever I got a craving for salt beef!

DD was born 40+4 and obv he was there.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 22/06/2022 21:49

My husband was in Vegas on a stag do when I was 36 weeks pregnant with our first Grin

surreygirl1987 · 22/06/2022 21:57

Jeez, of course let him go! Why wouldn't you?! Yes there is a chance you might go into labour... but honestly ANYTHING might happen at ANY time. It's not even abroad!

Look at ACTUAL stats, not just two random people you know. You'll be more than a month away from your actual due date and he's only going a few hours away!!

SandyWedges · 22/06/2022 22:00

6demandingchildren · 22/06/2022 20:10

I would probably tell him to go, but I would also say that if you did go into labour you will only phone him once and if he misses it then that was the choice he took, then plan for someone to be worth you while he is away.

I'd do this .

dolphinsarentcommon · 22/06/2022 22:01

Really surprised at these responses.

I had both mine around 35 weeks. I'd have expected DH to be around, taking some responsibility. Not getting unnecessarily pissed in a field.

SandyWedges · 22/06/2022 22:05

I'd ignore all the "it's your first it will be late" it might not be, especially if they have to get baby out pronto.

SandyWedges · 22/06/2022 22:06

surreygirl1987 · 22/06/2022 21:57

Jeez, of course let him go! Why wouldn't you?! Yes there is a chance you might go into labour... but honestly ANYTHING might happen at ANY time. It's not even abroad!

Look at ACTUAL stats, not just two random people you know. You'll be more than a month away from your actual due date and he's only going a few hours away!!

It might as well be abroad by the time OP has got hold of him, and he's got back to the car and managed to work his way through the traffic.

FabFitFifties · 22/06/2022 22:08

I said YABU, but now I think yanbu. I'm pretty sure my partner wouldn't have gone away at that stage. He'd be too afraid something happened.

SandyWedges · 22/06/2022 22:08

I'd line up another birth partner for the weekend or be prepared to go it alone with the midwife, you might prefer that.

luxxlisbon · 22/06/2022 22:08

My cut off for something like this would have been more like 37/38 weeks, I would have been fine with DH going somewhere for a weekend at 35.

At 34 I flew for a hen myself!

That doesn’t mean you have to be comfortable with it though.

Lillimae32 · 22/06/2022 22:09

No way. Why should he get to go to a festival and get shit faced when you are sore and achey and generally feeling shite cause you’re heavily pregnant. He should be at home supporting you.

5zeds · 22/06/2022 22:14

Just invite YOUR friends for the weekend or go home and have a last weekend without partner or children with your parents and sibs. Honestly why wouldn’t both of you just enjoy yourselves?

Tree543 · 22/06/2022 22:22

dolphinsarentcommon · 22/06/2022 22:01

Really surprised at these responses.

I had both mine around 35 weeks. I'd have expected DH to be around, taking some responsibility. Not getting unnecessarily pissed in a field.

This. My dc were born at 36 and 36 weeks. No warning that they would be early. Waters breaking then contractions started an hour later. No way would I be happy with this.