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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What have I just read….

262 replies

Loadedforest · 20/06/2022 16:37

sheerluxe.com/life/food/my-week-plate-lara-hughes

Made my sandwich and crisps blush…

OP posts:
fionaapple · 20/06/2022 17:46

All I can think of is how we'd have had a field day analysing that in A-Level English Language😂

KettrickenSmiled · 20/06/2022 17:46

TheDogsMother · 20/06/2022 17:33

@AngelinaFibres Came on to say the same 🤣 A 7am large glass of wine at Gatwick Airport Spoons.

Anyone know what a bio unique protocol is ?

Not entirely sure, but I think it can be provided in the form of an enema, @AngelinaFibres

KettrickenSmiled · 20/06/2022 17:48

I don't claim that it's helping my cognitive abilities (I spent this morning thinking it was Wednesday)
😂😂😂

AchatAVendre · 20/06/2022 17:48

B0ssAssB1tch · 20/06/2022 17:35

Fucking hell the privilege is dripping from every word. She must spend an absolute fortune on all that rabbit food. 70 minutes exercise before breakfast as well. Id rather have a nice cup of tea in bed thanks.

I'm not seeing much exercise there either. She talks about "walking the dog" and calls it "exercise" and a 20 minute gentle jog, otherwise its dropping the names of "HIIT" and "workouts". Its all so complicated and doesn't seem to involve anything such as going for an cycle in the fresh air or doing an interval session or doing any exercise that involves the normal endorphin high that you get, especially from pushing yourself on your own rather than being crammed into a gym with others.

She's also got her boyfriend in on it: Friday night means date night – we head to Sticks‘n’Sushi prior to watching the new Top Gun movie with popcorn. Tonight’s dinner isn’t 100% balanced – it lacks protein as we eat vegetarian sushi, but it tastes delicious. We also order a seaweed salad, which is a great source of fibre, minerals and vitamins.

Now I must admit here to feeling the boak not just to the seaweed (which literally does make me puke due to its texture) but because I had an orthorexic boyfriend for 2 years. He was very handsome, which made me turn a blind eye to his carry on obsessing about food, but he eventually ran off with one of the women he was cheating on me with, and it became clear that the healthy, carefully prepared meals he had been claiming to have cooked for me in his slow cooker were actually prepared by the woman he left me for!! I miss that satay sauce way more than I miss him!

Rabidturnip · 20/06/2022 17:51

KettrickenSmiled · 20/06/2022 17:46

Not entirely sure, but I think it can be provided in the form of an enema, @AngelinaFibres

I am howling 🤣🤣🤣

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 20/06/2022 17:51

I’m not buying a dog being satisfied with a 20 minute walk.

I put it to her that it is a mung bean on a string.

Winterfellismyhome · 20/06/2022 17:54

I much prefer this breakfast

What have I just read….
tiredanddangerous · 20/06/2022 17:54

fuck me. I suddenly feel compelled to order a Chinese.

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 20/06/2022 17:54

Mung-o.

ArticSaviour · 20/06/2022 17:56

AchatAVendre · 20/06/2022 16:50

"Fasted til lunchtime" = had a long lie.

This!

summermornings · 20/06/2022 18:00

Winterfellismyhome · 20/06/2022 17:54

I much prefer this breakfast

She needs to have a break and have…..oh wait

ArticSaviour · 20/06/2022 18:00

She is in the menstrual phase of her cycle though. Who doesn't reach for blueberries and chia seeds then? So much better than a family bar of Galaxy and half a bottle of red...

Tsandjdarethrbest · 20/06/2022 18:01

The compulsion to want to eat 4 kitkats instead is why this is dangerous. We’re losing sight of a healthy diet.

SomePosters · 20/06/2022 18:02

MiddleParking · 20/06/2022 16:51

Not that it really matters because the whole thing is completely made up, but how are there literate adults still walking around thinking there is a link between drinking juice and ‘cleansing’?

Because there is if you make there be! Even knowingly made up ritual has power.

plus juice is full of vital nutrients (albeit sod all fibre) and probably will make you feel good especially if you’ve been having a crap diet recently and are in need of the vitamins

it’s not a reason to give up medical treatment but unless you drink enough to rot your teeth and eschew other food for long periods it’s not bad for you

Fairislefandango · 20/06/2022 18:04

Also this article is really distasteful, there's a cost of living crisis.

The article is indeed a load of pretentious twaddle, but you can't expect everyone to stop talking about stuff they do just because some people can't afford to do the same thing. Magazines don't publish articles and interviews about people saying they eat beans on toast and spag bol, because it's boring and nobody would read it.

People like reading aspirational, pretentious twaddle - either out of escapism, to daydream about having that kind of life, or because they enjoy ranting about how pretentious it is! Should people with little money only be allowed to read content about other people with little money? Seems a bit patronising to me.

BobbinThreadbare123 · 20/06/2022 18:07

It all sounds really BORING.
Also she'll be shitting through the eye of needle with all that powder etc.

SummerLobelia · 20/06/2022 18:14

In my 'healthy eating' phase of my eating disorder (many and varied) I ate very much like that. And put on a fuck ton of weight due to the nuts,avocadoes, chickpeas etc etc etc

(In no way was the fuck ton of weight due to excessive alcohol use.... )

The only other thing I recall is that sometimes I couldn't face eating at all because my jaw muscles got tired with all the chewing.

ImFree2doasiwant · 20/06/2022 18:15

I'd eat it all but who has the time, money, inclination to order it all??

Pyjamagame · 20/06/2022 18:19

I bet her toilet bowl has cracks in it.

Strokethefurrywall · 20/06/2022 18:19

I mean, I eat like this most days of the week, but none of my meals are as pretentiously named as this, nor do I write an endlessly boring food blog.

What absolute mindless drivel, nobody fucking cares!!!

Eat what you want and shut up about it! I'm pretty sure this type of shit puts people off following a plant based diet, for fear it will turn them into a boring pretentious, navel gazing arsehole!! Fucks sake.

WetWilly · 20/06/2022 18:21

My routine
roll out of bed at 6:20
clean the cat little tray
Eat breakfast
commute (fun) to work
come home cook whatever is in the freezer
watch telly
go to sleep

happy for a magazine/newspaper to employ for me thousands of pounds so I can “influence “ others with my brilliant days

Norgie · 20/06/2022 18:25

Pah, amateur! I fast every day of the week.
Fair enough, I'm in bed asleep, but still, I'm not eating while I'm snoring am I.

HyggeTygge · 20/06/2022 18:25

KettrickenSmiled · 20/06/2022 16:54

Yup.
Almost every damn sentence contains, or starts with, "I".

This is of particular merit:
Breakfast: I fast until lunchtime – something I often do at the weekends after a later start.

Unlike the Great Unwashed, who just have a lie in & can't be arsed to make breakfast.
Plus - she doesn't "fast" til lunch. She goes out for a posh brunch, the lying twat.
😂💤

Yeah, wtf was that?

"Breakfast: I fast until lunchtime – something I often do at the weekends after a later start. [..................]I break my fast with a delicious brunch at Barbie Green – I order the shakshuka.

Lunch: I am still full from brunch"

Creasedtshirts · 20/06/2022 18:26

I got bored after Monday!.... I might get some biscuits and read the rest later alternately I could sew my eyes shut with a rusty spoon.

liveforsummer · 20/06/2022 18:27

Tbf i'd enjoy a lot of that if somebody cared to make it for me. As it happens I've not had to feed dc tonight so I've had 2 slices of bread with cheese in between all the other shit that needs done after finishing work. My weeks consist of the quickest meals possible

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