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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Have just sent neighbour’s builder away

395 replies

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 20/06/2022 14:35

Our neighbour said she was having work done and we agreed access and to have scaffolding in our garden. We knew it would be inconvenient, but the work was only due to take a few days.

We made sure paths etc were clear and the scaffolding was put up about 10 days before the work was due to start.

It makes access through our normal route very tight, and blocks the majority of light to the kitchen, but is about what we thought.

It’s worse at the moment due to a pre existing agreement to look after my friend’s rabbits, as their run takes up a lot of space, and I have to navigate a ‘squirrel style assault course’ to reach my washing line.

The building work didn’t start as planned, and we have now had the scaffolding up for one month. The Tesco delivery man can’t get his trolley through, so we meet in the garden ( yes, I know ‘first world’ problems!).

We didn’t know work would be starting today, but mid morning my dog
barked ( fortunately he was safely in the house). I saw that my back gate had been wedged open, and men were bringing things into the garden.

They knocked on the door to complain that there were some things stored close to one of the access areas. ( the access itself was clear). I have a postage stamp sized garden and with the scaffolding and the rabbit run I don’t really have anywhere else to move things. The one who was doing all the talking said something like ‘it’s on you if it gets ruined then’.

I asked him to make sure the gate was shut when they were not working in my garden due to my dog ( I will have to take him into the open plan front garden on a lead whilst they are working). He told me they weren’t going to be opening and shutting gates all the time.

I asked when they would be working and he said they would be here when they are here and it might be a day this week and then when they had time over a few weeks. He was almost aggressively vague.

I wasn’t happy, the scaffolding is already a pain, and over a period of a few weeks, with no prior notice, I can’t guarantee that no one will accidentally let the dog out not knowing they are there or have left the gate open.

The final straw came when he again banged on my door and demanded I move the rabbit run, which is about 18” away from the path, and not especially in the way. My husband is away and I couldn’t move it on my own even if I had space.

He said it was my garden and my responsibility to move stuff to give him access. He wanted to set up a cement mixer in that space, and plug it in in my garage. (The garage is normally kept locked.) He was very unpleasant.

I admit I lost my temper there. I told him I was pleased he realised it was my garden and as such I wanted him to remove himself and all of his stuff from it.

I have seen the mess sometimes left by mixing cement and if he had been reasonable I would probably have put up with it, but he was not, and he is not running it on my electricity.

He started ranting that he had a right to be there to get to next door’s job.

I told him that access had been granted with my permission and I was now withdrawing it, and he needed to leave.

He then said he was wasting his time dealing with a woman and wanted to speak to my husband.

At that stage I told him to Fuck off, and left saying I would be phoning the police.

I was on hold for 101 but was quite surprised to see him packing up his stuff and going!

My neighbour is at work and unaware of the confrontation. I have no idea how she will react.

OP posts:
USaYwHatNow · 20/06/2022 17:53

Good for you!

greatblueheron · 20/06/2022 17:53

I would have told them to get to fuck.
And demanded they remove the scaffolding as you're withdrawing consent as they've already been there too long.

Cement mixer? No fucking way.
Using my electricity? No fucking way, ESPECIALLY right now.
Not wanting to open/close gates? No fucking way.
Moving things that are there because they've taken too long to do there 3 day job? No fucking way.

Staryflight445 · 20/06/2022 17:53

That is absolutely awful. I hope your neighbour apologises profusely.

TrashyPanda · 20/06/2022 17:55

I had similar last year.

builders told my neighbour they would only need access to my garden to point a wall they were building.
i said no problem, as long as the gate was shut,as I’ve got two dogs, who like to go out into the garden

work started, and there this guy was, in my garden, building a wall, trampling all over my plants and with the gate wide open.

i accepted plans had changed and told him to be careful of my garden and to make sure the gate was shut at all times.

clearly this was too complicated. I had to speak to my neighbours, who were mortified (they are lovely people and we get on really well) and couldnt apologise enough.

exactly what is so difficult about shutting a gate?

viques · 20/06/2022 17:55

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 20/06/2022 17:38

Oh dear, that sounds bad. I have a ( non portable) greenhouse right near the scaffolding. I will have to find a way of covering that. I certainly wouldn’t trust that builder to make good - not that it will be him doing the work now.

As one of the tight new conditions with your neighbours new builders I would have a watertight agreement that they are responsible for covering the green house and are also responsible for rectifying any damage . I would ask them to deposit a sum of money with a solicitor to ensure they pay up. Not sure this is possible, but ask for it anyway.

doublemonkey · 20/06/2022 17:58

Just to add my voice and say well done OP!

You were beyond reasonable but some people just don't appreciate that.

Mellowyellow222 · 20/06/2022 17:58

The six o’clock phone call better be an unreserved apology.

this is shocking.

stand Your ground! You have already put up with a lot more than most would, and that builder is shockingly rude and unprofessional. And thick.

poetryandwine · 20/06/2022 17:59

OP,

Of course the builder is beyond the pale and you are about 98% right. As a point of strategy, in your place I would concentrate mostly on his outrageousness regarding the cement mixer and presumed use of your electricity. A lesser but still important point where you are right concerns his refusal to provide information on his timings.

But he may have a point concerning clear routes and the location of the rabbits. I simply can’t tell. Also, every builder we have ever worked with has been very lax with both gates and doors, even in the dead of winter. It seems to be in their genes, even the ones who are otherwise fab.

You have more than ample grounds to terminate the arrangement over the cement mixer, presumed use of electricity and appalling rudeness. Muddying the waters with more ambiguous issues probably won’t help. Good luck

Luckymummytoone · 20/06/2022 17:59

Wow you’ve far too nice as it is! I really hope you get an apology from your neighbour! I definitely wouldn’t be letting them in my garden again! X

diddl · 20/06/2022 18:01

exactly what is so difficult about shutting a gate?

You wonder don't you?

I get if they are carrying heavy/cumbersome stuff through it it's not so easy.

We had stuff done recently & the dog got onto the drive.

Fortunately he's old & placid & they could just head him off.

But they had had to have left the sitting room door & hall door both open enough for him to easily get through as he won't nose his way out any more!

LakieLady · 20/06/2022 18:02

Unfortunately scaffolders are wankers

I agree!

The scaffolders employed by my neighbour's builder put diagonal poles across the full width of my drive. I'd have had to practically crawl beneath them and couldn't get the wheelie bin underneath on bin day, and we couldn't get our motorhome up the drive. The builder made them come back and do it differently, so it was less in the way.

When they took it down, they dropped a scaffold board and a heavy metal clip that smashed a hole in the roof of our garage, and ripped DP's motorbike cover.

Both builder and neighbour were mortified, builder fixed the roof and we got wine, flowers, chocolates and a new motorbike cover from them.

Calmdown14 · 20/06/2022 18:02

Zero. Flat cost £100k.

Scotland offers over in 2007 so needed 20k deposit as you can't add over home report to the mortgage.

It just sold again for £112k so no real change in position to today as it's had new windows, kitchen, bathroom, replastered, completely redecorated since then (a big chunk we did) that cost more than the 12k difference

Calmdown14 · 20/06/2022 18:03

Sorry don't know how that ended up here. Was for a different thread and jumped as posting

ShirleyPhallus · 20/06/2022 18:03

Very refreshing to find an OP where they’re standing up for themselves! Well done!

Ihatethenewlook · 20/06/2022 18:09

So what exactly did he say to your neighbour? It would be pretty hard to spin this to make you look like the bad person

HouseOfRunners · 20/06/2022 18:11

I hope your neighbour is as disgusted with this awful man as we all are.

MeridianB · 20/06/2022 18:18

poetryandwine · 20/06/2022 17:59

OP,

Of course the builder is beyond the pale and you are about 98% right. As a point of strategy, in your place I would concentrate mostly on his outrageousness regarding the cement mixer and presumed use of your electricity. A lesser but still important point where you are right concerns his refusal to provide information on his timings.

But he may have a point concerning clear routes and the location of the rabbits. I simply can’t tell. Also, every builder we have ever worked with has been very lax with both gates and doors, even in the dead of winter. It seems to be in their genes, even the ones who are otherwise fab.

You have more than ample grounds to terminate the arrangement over the cement mixer, presumed use of electricity and appalling rudeness. Muddying the waters with more ambiguous issues probably won’t help. Good luck

No, the OP is 100% right.

The builder showed up weeks later than advised, without warning. Then, instead of knocking on her door and asking to gain access, they let themselves in and complained there were items in the way.

Add a stream of unprovoked verbal abuse, demands for electricity and assumption that he could set up for work (not just access).

Mummapenguin20 · 20/06/2022 18:22

Well done you

Bordesleyhills · 20/06/2022 18:25

Well done - nightmare for you and very cheeky of them

Glenthebattleostrich · 20/06/2022 18:26

well done, I hope your neighbour is reasonable.

Jconnais1chansonquivavsenerver · 20/06/2022 18:26

Did the builder think the OP was his client and being unnecessarily obstructive? Otherwise, I don't understand his outrageous, obstreperous, behaviour. OP is doing the neighbour, and by extension, the builder, a huge favour by allowing her land to be used for the neighbour's work, you'd think both neighbour and builder would want to keep on the right side of the OP, wouldn't you?

MotherCrab · 20/06/2022 18:30

Fucking legend OP.

Hope everything goes ok chatting to the neighbours tonight.

AssignedSlytherinAtBirth · 20/06/2022 18:32

I doubt the neighbour has any clue about what days this guy will show up, so that's why no electricity etc. He's one of those builders who gives the trade a bad name.

TolkiensFallow · 20/06/2022 18:35

So what happened on the phone call OP?

Springercleaner · 20/06/2022 18:36

Please go and take photos of any area they are working in on your side in case of any breakages so you have evidence when anything gets damaged.

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