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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Have just sent neighbour’s builder away

395 replies

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 20/06/2022 14:35

Our neighbour said she was having work done and we agreed access and to have scaffolding in our garden. We knew it would be inconvenient, but the work was only due to take a few days.

We made sure paths etc were clear and the scaffolding was put up about 10 days before the work was due to start.

It makes access through our normal route very tight, and blocks the majority of light to the kitchen, but is about what we thought.

It’s worse at the moment due to a pre existing agreement to look after my friend’s rabbits, as their run takes up a lot of space, and I have to navigate a ‘squirrel style assault course’ to reach my washing line.

The building work didn’t start as planned, and we have now had the scaffolding up for one month. The Tesco delivery man can’t get his trolley through, so we meet in the garden ( yes, I know ‘first world’ problems!).

We didn’t know work would be starting today, but mid morning my dog
barked ( fortunately he was safely in the house). I saw that my back gate had been wedged open, and men were bringing things into the garden.

They knocked on the door to complain that there were some things stored close to one of the access areas. ( the access itself was clear). I have a postage stamp sized garden and with the scaffolding and the rabbit run I don’t really have anywhere else to move things. The one who was doing all the talking said something like ‘it’s on you if it gets ruined then’.

I asked him to make sure the gate was shut when they were not working in my garden due to my dog ( I will have to take him into the open plan front garden on a lead whilst they are working). He told me they weren’t going to be opening and shutting gates all the time.

I asked when they would be working and he said they would be here when they are here and it might be a day this week and then when they had time over a few weeks. He was almost aggressively vague.

I wasn’t happy, the scaffolding is already a pain, and over a period of a few weeks, with no prior notice, I can’t guarantee that no one will accidentally let the dog out not knowing they are there or have left the gate open.

The final straw came when he again banged on my door and demanded I move the rabbit run, which is about 18” away from the path, and not especially in the way. My husband is away and I couldn’t move it on my own even if I had space.

He said it was my garden and my responsibility to move stuff to give him access. He wanted to set up a cement mixer in that space, and plug it in in my garage. (The garage is normally kept locked.) He was very unpleasant.

I admit I lost my temper there. I told him I was pleased he realised it was my garden and as such I wanted him to remove himself and all of his stuff from it.

I have seen the mess sometimes left by mixing cement and if he had been reasonable I would probably have put up with it, but he was not, and he is not running it on my electricity.

He started ranting that he had a right to be there to get to next door’s job.

I told him that access had been granted with my permission and I was now withdrawing it, and he needed to leave.

He then said he was wasting his time dealing with a woman and wanted to speak to my husband.

At that stage I told him to Fuck off, and left saying I would be phoning the police.

I was on hold for 101 but was quite surprised to see him packing up his stuff and going!

My neighbour is at work and unaware of the confrontation. I have no idea how she will react.

OP posts:
HopeIsNotAStrategy · 20/06/2022 17:24

You are right to look after your dog OP. I had a dog run over and killed after an electrician I had clearly told to keep the gate shut (and why) left it open. 😡 Please do not trust them.

KosherDill · 20/06/2022 17:24

As other say, YOU have done nothing wrong and in fact have been spectacularly accommodating, inconveniencing yourselves to assist them, for no gain on your part.

If she tries to put you on the defensive, tell her that the scaffolding must be removed within 48 hours, end of.

If she makes excuses for the builder and plans to continue employing him, you will only open the gate to the scaffolding removal company.

If you allow it to go forward with a different builder, note that the gates will be locked from 5pm to 8am, and demand a large lump-sum (1000 sounds right) payment before additional access, to compensate for your inconvenience, wear & tear and noise.

I would just terminate the deal and let them figure out some other way to get their pointing done. Let the contractor dangle from their roof in a harness.

Dominuse · 20/06/2022 17:26

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 20/06/2022 17:00

Have just had brief text from neighbour.
It sounds like the builder got his side of the story in first.
She has a break at 6.00pm and suggests speaking by phone then.
It’s hard to interpret tone from a text.

Really she does does she? When she’s free? No apology.

  • no apology of the bat then?
don’t speak text - copy and paste what happened with dates and times and the fact he was overhead referring to you as a ‘ducking bitxh’ and that you have already called the police due to his threatening behaviour - paper trail

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 20/06/2022 17:27

Invisibelle · 20/06/2022 17:05

Who on earth are the 2% that voted YABU?

The builder and the neighbour?!

cushionpillow · 20/06/2022 17:27

That's just awful! He's a pig. Depending on how the telephone chat with your neighbour goes, I would also leave a bad online review for his building company.

Mouk · 20/06/2022 17:28

The prick!

YANBU.

Drywhitefruitycidergin · 20/06/2022 17:28

Well done OP. Just be factual with neighbour.
We agreed x, y, z - timeframe etc
Scaffolders great.
Already timeframe broken.
Won't be dictated to by jumped up builder when I'm doing a favour.
Arrange new builder with manners or remove scaffolding.

diddl · 20/06/2022 17:29

Doesn't really matter what his side of the story is tbh she needs you & you don't need her!

HermioneWeasley · 20/06/2022 17:31

So neighbour wants to speak when it’s convenient for her?

if she’s not grovelling I’d be telling her to find another way to make the work happen.

NoNoNoooo · 20/06/2022 17:31

Your neighbour needs to find a new builder, this is totally unacceptable let alone in professional!

IamupInSpaceMan · 20/06/2022 17:32

@Allthecoolusernamesaregone
Just to add to your woes, if they are re pointing, the cutting out makes a hell of a mess. You'll need to have all your windows closed and then cleaned if they're using a grinder.

Queenoftheashes · 20/06/2022 17:33

what a prick

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 20/06/2022 17:38

IamupInSpaceMan · 20/06/2022 17:32

@Allthecoolusernamesaregone
Just to add to your woes, if they are re pointing, the cutting out makes a hell of a mess. You'll need to have all your windows closed and then cleaned if they're using a grinder.

Oh dear, that sounds bad. I have a ( non portable) greenhouse right near the scaffolding. I will have to find a way of covering that. I certainly wouldn’t trust that builder to make good - not that it will be him doing the work now.

OP posts:
Giggorata · 20/06/2022 17:39

Good for you, OP. These entitled misogynistic men must learn that they cannot behave like this, women will not put up with it.

We have a similar repointing situation going on right now and have permission from our neighbour and the village hall for our builder to erect scaffolding where needed and mix concrete on a board. He brought along with him a long hose, to use our garden tap, and a long extension lead, so that he uses our electricity, and rightly so.

EmmaH2022 · 20/06/2022 17:40

I agree with pp saying put it all in writing.

skyeisthelimit · 20/06/2022 17:41

Well done on standing up for yourself OP. There is no way that he should be using your electricity, he should have arranged access to your neighbours supply with them and your neighbour can't expect you to allow it either.

He has been verbally abusive and aggressive towards you, so I wouldn't blame you for now not wanting him back on your property.

They do need to keep shutting the gate etc, as it is your garden and therefore they should do what you want. If they needed space for a cement mixer (powered by next door) then all of that should have been discussed with you in advance.

Stand your ground with your neighbour and hold your temper too, and just state what is acceptable to you and what isn't. I clearly wouldn't trust this guy now to keep your dog safe, or not damage something deliberately.

FOJN · 20/06/2022 17:45

If your neighbour is anything less than apologetic I would absolutely withdraw consent for access. You've described two occasions where you have dealt with her contractors because she's at work and the scaffolding has been in place for considerably longer than anticipated.

I think of you intend to be accomodating you do need to put some firm boundaries in place. It's all very well being helpful and neighbourly but you have endured weeks of inconvenience and the unpleasantness of the builder either because they have contracted a cowboy or are happy to take a hands off approach to managing the work because it's not causing them the same amount of inconvenience. Start being the inconvenience.

diddl · 20/06/2022 17:46

Tbh Op you've already put up with too much.

Scaffolding for a month for a few days work which went up 10daysbefore work was planned!

What a shitshow!

Presumably it can't be done without the scaffolding being on yours?

LakieLady · 20/06/2022 17:46

LittlestBaoBun · 20/06/2022 14:39

He's an entitled misogynistic cunt. Well done for seeing him off.

Isn't he just?

Imo, allowing a builder access means just that - access to get on to the scaffolding to do the job, not setting up a cement mixer and god knows what in YOUR garden, and using your leccy!

I'd be minded to go on to Checkatrade and give him a stinking review.

chiffchaffchiff · 20/06/2022 17:47

If I were you neighbour I'd be gutted about the cost of the scaffolding escalating while trying to find a new builder (it's not cheap) but I wouldn't hold it against you. He sounds like a pig and I wouldn't expect anyone to put up with that for my sake. I bet she had no clue he was planning on working in your garden with your electricity.

Salome61 · 20/06/2022 17:47

So sorry, I hope your neighbour gets them to apologise and resite the concrete mixer. Our elm trees were killed by someone mixing near their roots.

My neighbour was out at work when her builders came to do her garden patio, so noisy and messy for three days. She had left them the key so they could use her electric, but weirdly they knocked and asked to use mine, they 'didn't feel comfortable going into her house'? I said no as I was going out food shopping.

Threetulips · 20/06/2022 17:48

High Five - about time we see some gumption in these threads!

Merryoldgoat · 20/06/2022 17:48

Threetulips · 20/06/2022 17:48

High Five - about time we see some gumption in these threads!

I know right? I nearly cheered!

billy1966 · 20/06/2022 17:51

Have you seriously entered into this situation without written confirmation that neighbour will personally make good on any and all damage/cleaning to your property?

Surely you cannot be this naive.

Who is going to clean, tidy your garden, put everything back to right after they leave?

Happyplace88 · 20/06/2022 17:52

OP I am so, so pleased that you stood up for yourself. Well done. He sounds really intimidating.
stand your ground with neighbour too! If she takes his side she’s clearly as much of a cheeky fucker as him. You’ve been more than accommodating.