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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Have just sent neighbour’s builder away

395 replies

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 20/06/2022 14:35

Our neighbour said she was having work done and we agreed access and to have scaffolding in our garden. We knew it would be inconvenient, but the work was only due to take a few days.

We made sure paths etc were clear and the scaffolding was put up about 10 days before the work was due to start.

It makes access through our normal route very tight, and blocks the majority of light to the kitchen, but is about what we thought.

It’s worse at the moment due to a pre existing agreement to look after my friend’s rabbits, as their run takes up a lot of space, and I have to navigate a ‘squirrel style assault course’ to reach my washing line.

The building work didn’t start as planned, and we have now had the scaffolding up for one month. The Tesco delivery man can’t get his trolley through, so we meet in the garden ( yes, I know ‘first world’ problems!).

We didn’t know work would be starting today, but mid morning my dog
barked ( fortunately he was safely in the house). I saw that my back gate had been wedged open, and men were bringing things into the garden.

They knocked on the door to complain that there were some things stored close to one of the access areas. ( the access itself was clear). I have a postage stamp sized garden and with the scaffolding and the rabbit run I don’t really have anywhere else to move things. The one who was doing all the talking said something like ‘it’s on you if it gets ruined then’.

I asked him to make sure the gate was shut when they were not working in my garden due to my dog ( I will have to take him into the open plan front garden on a lead whilst they are working). He told me they weren’t going to be opening and shutting gates all the time.

I asked when they would be working and he said they would be here when they are here and it might be a day this week and then when they had time over a few weeks. He was almost aggressively vague.

I wasn’t happy, the scaffolding is already a pain, and over a period of a few weeks, with no prior notice, I can’t guarantee that no one will accidentally let the dog out not knowing they are there or have left the gate open.

The final straw came when he again banged on my door and demanded I move the rabbit run, which is about 18” away from the path, and not especially in the way. My husband is away and I couldn’t move it on my own even if I had space.

He said it was my garden and my responsibility to move stuff to give him access. He wanted to set up a cement mixer in that space, and plug it in in my garage. (The garage is normally kept locked.) He was very unpleasant.

I admit I lost my temper there. I told him I was pleased he realised it was my garden and as such I wanted him to remove himself and all of his stuff from it.

I have seen the mess sometimes left by mixing cement and if he had been reasonable I would probably have put up with it, but he was not, and he is not running it on my electricity.

He started ranting that he had a right to be there to get to next door’s job.

I told him that access had been granted with my permission and I was now withdrawing it, and he needed to leave.

He then said he was wasting his time dealing with a woman and wanted to speak to my husband.

At that stage I told him to Fuck off, and left saying I would be phoning the police.

I was on hold for 101 but was quite surprised to see him packing up his stuff and going!

My neighbour is at work and unaware of the confrontation. I have no idea how she will react.

OP posts:
Poptasmagorical · 21/06/2022 20:22

Derbee · 20/06/2022 19:12

Misogynistic language there.

Reclamation is a thing.
Cunt is a feminist powerhouse of a word.

Stigolini · 21/06/2022 20:29

LittlestBaoBun · 20/06/2022 14:39

He's an entitled misogynistic cunt. Well done for seeing him off.

Yup, that about covers it.

NannaKaren · 21/06/2022 21:06

He sounds a charmer - you done good girl xxx

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 21/06/2022 21:19

I have now bought 2 doer-uppers as a single woman. Never ceases to amaze me how blatantly rude and misogynistic some tradespeople are. My faves - the builder for next door who wanted to remove my chimney while he was working on their roof and found me unreasonable for refusing - door was slammed in his face. The electrician who cornered me in my kitchen to intimidate me into having a fluorescent light in the kitchen (he was told to fuck off). And the painter who insisted on speaking to my dad (who he knew) rather than me when there were any issues when he was painting my house. Beggars belief.

Londoncallingme · 21/06/2022 21:24

Your annoyance is totally understandable but I think you should have given the neighbour a chance to resolve it before you sent him packing. The work isn’t done and the neighbour will still have to pay. YABU

Mellowyellow222 · 21/06/2022 21:31

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 21/06/2022 21:19

I have now bought 2 doer-uppers as a single woman. Never ceases to amaze me how blatantly rude and misogynistic some tradespeople are. My faves - the builder for next door who wanted to remove my chimney while he was working on their roof and found me unreasonable for refusing - door was slammed in his face. The electrician who cornered me in my kitchen to intimidate me into having a fluorescent light in the kitchen (he was told to fuck off). And the painter who insisted on speaking to my dad (who he knew) rather than me when there were any issues when he was painting my house. Beggars belief.

I have run out of patience with the attitudes of some to single female homeowners!

i regularly get asked if I bought my house ‘all by my self’. Do men get asked this!

I also have had two separate sets of neighbours in two separate houses try to intimidate me.

Sizzer40 · 21/06/2022 22:03

LittlestBaoBun · 20/06/2022 14:39

He's an entitled misogynistic cunt. Well done for seeing him off.

+1

Mfsf · 21/06/2022 22:39

I’m not sure what agreement you have with your neighbor but from a legal perspective you need a legal agreement and compensation from them to allow access . Please do not feel bad . They should be bending backwards to you , not the other way around . Please contact a solicitor, draw up a contract and a compensation schedule ASAP .

LimpBiskit · 21/06/2022 22:51

Londoncallingme · 21/06/2022 21:24

Your annoyance is totally understandable but I think you should have given the neighbour a chance to resolve it before you sent him packing. The work isn’t done and the neighbour will still have to pay. YABU

Utter BS. I would absolutely not have the builder back on my premises.

billy1966 · 21/06/2022 22:52

YanTanTetheraPetheraPimp · 21/06/2022 19:46

Scaffolders around here openly admit they don’t remove scaffolding promptly because it saves on storage and they just move it to the next job. My neighbours dismantled the scaffolding that had been around their house for 3 months after the work finished and told the company (who’d ignored them up to that point) that it was on eBay. Oddly it was collected within a few hours.

I think this is definitely true.
Years ago we had work done and the nice builder came and asked would it be a huge inconvenience to leave it tucked away for a few weeks over Christmas.

He had been great so it wasn't a bother. He said it would save him a big job loading and unloading if he could collect it directly from us in early January.
He rang to let us know it was being collected and was very appreciative.

He did more good work for us a few years later.

echt · 21/06/2022 23:12

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 21/06/2022 21:19

I have now bought 2 doer-uppers as a single woman. Never ceases to amaze me how blatantly rude and misogynistic some tradespeople are. My faves - the builder for next door who wanted to remove my chimney while he was working on their roof and found me unreasonable for refusing - door was slammed in his face. The electrician who cornered me in my kitchen to intimidate me into having a fluorescent light in the kitchen (he was told to fuck off). And the painter who insisted on speaking to my dad (who he knew) rather than me when there were any issues when he was painting my house. Beggars belief.

I've never had rudeness, but always pretend my late DH is still here when engaging tradies, e.g. Need to check with DH re timing/quotes, etc.

I'd like to think I shouldn't have to do this, but accounts from women who do have a chap on the premises, bears out some definitely sexist attitudes.

jaynecooper · 21/06/2022 23:17

I suspect that there is a clause in the deeds that you have to grant access for repairs etc if needed for a next door property but he was taking the mickey. The problem is that if it isn’t sorted the scaffold is likely to remain until the work is done. Finding another builder can be so difficult. But he sounds like a right A hole.

Blantw · 21/06/2022 23:35

Be surprised if it's only pointing.

EatingPeanutButterWithASpoon · 22/06/2022 07:43

I'm having building works and if my builders spoke to or acted like that with my neighbours I'd be mortified and so apologetic. Its CF to do cement work in your garden with your electricity its makes a mess. Well done telling him to do one! YANBU!

Looby57 · 22/06/2022 07:52

You did exactly as I would have done, given his sexist comments and holier than thou attitude. You had kindly given your permission but then they took the pee. Well done!

Miisty · 22/06/2022 08:00

Well done you they have already broken the terms and conditions asked for by your neighbour .Get the scaffolding down your poor dog would escape with strangers in your garden and gate propped open

SnazzyShazzy54 · 22/06/2022 08:14

The scaffolding will be very likely be hired from a local scaffolding company, if so their name or mark will be on the scaffolding. If its just a mark, ring any scaffolding company and explain the mark, they will tell you whose it is.

If you have any issues getting it taken down, call them and ask them to come and remove it, explain your problem and say you're not paying for the scaffording that's his responsibility.

Am speaking from experience. Had to stop a builder on my property last December. Had the scaffolding up over a month without him appearing or responding to me.

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 22/06/2022 09:27

I would like to thank everyone for taking time to post.

It sounds like others have had a worse experience, which is quite concerning.

It does make me concerned about future works.

My attitude up to now would always have been to help if I can, rather than be in the ‘why be difficult when with effort you can be impossible’ school of thought.

We don’t have any form of party wall or formal agreement. The houses are detached, and the boundary on the neighbour’s side is about 4” away from her outside wall ( I assume to accommodate pipes, window ledges, etc which protrude past the brickwork).

I haven’t looked at my Deeds. I assume that they give the right of access for essential works.

It is probably also in my interests that the neighbours house is maintained.

It would never have occurred to me before to do anything other than readily agree to the access, which in fairness my other neighbour has granted to me without issue. ( not such a large scale, just a workman and a ladder for a few hours).

I will now a bit more cautious. I doubt the situation will occur again for a long while, but if it does I will ask for a lot more detail, making any potential inconvenience clear, and have some reasonable requirements regarding notice and time periods, etc before I agree to anything similar.

I have a shiny new combination lock on my back gate, and have only given the number to those who need it. The builder would be astonished to know that I fitted it myself!

OP posts:
MachineBee · 22/06/2022 09:40

You did really well OP and sound like a really good neighbour.

Unfortunately there is a huge demand for construction and building work. Which means these sort of chancers will be given work when at other times they would find slim pickings.

We’ve just had a major project completed and our builders have been amazing - so much that several neighbours now have them booked in for their projects. There are good ones around - but we need more people to do as you have done OP and call out the rogues.

MachineBee · 22/06/2022 09:41

You did really well OP and sound like a really good neighbour.

Unfortunately
there is a huge demand for construction and building work. Which means these sort of chancers will be given work when at other times they would find slim pickings.

We’ve just had a major project completed and our builders have been amazing - so much that several neighbours now have them booked in for their projects. There are good ones around - but we need more people to do as you have done OP and call out the rogues.

MachineBee · 22/06/2022 09:48

Sorry about the double post 😳

Pluvia · 22/06/2022 10:24

You sound like my ideal neighbour, OP. And your neighbour also sounds reasonable. I do hope that you can work together to get this work finished. I think it's always worth bearing in mind that one day you may have to ask her to endure scaffolding in her garden while your house is renovated.

It's an absolutely awful time to be doing building work. A lot of skilled workers have gone back to their original countries, there are shortages, prices are rising by the day (in my industry at least) and it's absolutely impossible, no matter how much one plans, to keep to a schedule. I'm working on a project that has fallen 18 months behind because of the difficulties of obtaining certain elements. It really is a case of keeping calm and carrying on as best you can. I hope now it will all be over fairly quickly.

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 22/06/2022 11:41

Yes @Mellowyellow222 - it is shocking. Sexism is alive and well in the building trades - wonder if it is on the curriculum?

@echt - I have had male co workers offer to come and hang out at my house to make it appear as if I have male back up when they hear of the problems. But I am really reluctant to do this, as it just feels like such a retrograde thing to do but perhaps I should think about it more.

Poodles23 · 22/06/2022 12:45

OMG that’s dreadful. You definitely did the right thing. A similar thing happened to me once (but not as bad). I allowed access to a neighbour’s garden (lifting up fence panels only) only to come home to find the workmen on my drive using an angle grinder to cut concrete fence posts, and in the process tiny lumps of concrete hit our nearly new caravan a few feet away!! We went mad and told them to get off our drive, but the damage was done. 😡😡😡

Tusue · 22/06/2022 12:52

Using your electricity,telling you to move your property,Naff off cheeky sod ,well done for telling to do one .wouldn’t care what my neighbour thought there are limits and they’ve just overstepped that mark big style

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