Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Have just sent neighbour’s builder away

395 replies

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 20/06/2022 14:35

Our neighbour said she was having work done and we agreed access and to have scaffolding in our garden. We knew it would be inconvenient, but the work was only due to take a few days.

We made sure paths etc were clear and the scaffolding was put up about 10 days before the work was due to start.

It makes access through our normal route very tight, and blocks the majority of light to the kitchen, but is about what we thought.

It’s worse at the moment due to a pre existing agreement to look after my friend’s rabbits, as their run takes up a lot of space, and I have to navigate a ‘squirrel style assault course’ to reach my washing line.

The building work didn’t start as planned, and we have now had the scaffolding up for one month. The Tesco delivery man can’t get his trolley through, so we meet in the garden ( yes, I know ‘first world’ problems!).

We didn’t know work would be starting today, but mid morning my dog
barked ( fortunately he was safely in the house). I saw that my back gate had been wedged open, and men were bringing things into the garden.

They knocked on the door to complain that there were some things stored close to one of the access areas. ( the access itself was clear). I have a postage stamp sized garden and with the scaffolding and the rabbit run I don’t really have anywhere else to move things. The one who was doing all the talking said something like ‘it’s on you if it gets ruined then’.

I asked him to make sure the gate was shut when they were not working in my garden due to my dog ( I will have to take him into the open plan front garden on a lead whilst they are working). He told me they weren’t going to be opening and shutting gates all the time.

I asked when they would be working and he said they would be here when they are here and it might be a day this week and then when they had time over a few weeks. He was almost aggressively vague.

I wasn’t happy, the scaffolding is already a pain, and over a period of a few weeks, with no prior notice, I can’t guarantee that no one will accidentally let the dog out not knowing they are there or have left the gate open.

The final straw came when he again banged on my door and demanded I move the rabbit run, which is about 18” away from the path, and not especially in the way. My husband is away and I couldn’t move it on my own even if I had space.

He said it was my garden and my responsibility to move stuff to give him access. He wanted to set up a cement mixer in that space, and plug it in in my garage. (The garage is normally kept locked.) He was very unpleasant.

I admit I lost my temper there. I told him I was pleased he realised it was my garden and as such I wanted him to remove himself and all of his stuff from it.

I have seen the mess sometimes left by mixing cement and if he had been reasonable I would probably have put up with it, but he was not, and he is not running it on my electricity.

He started ranting that he had a right to be there to get to next door’s job.

I told him that access had been granted with my permission and I was now withdrawing it, and he needed to leave.

He then said he was wasting his time dealing with a woman and wanted to speak to my husband.

At that stage I told him to Fuck off, and left saying I would be phoning the police.

I was on hold for 101 but was quite surprised to see him packing up his stuff and going!

My neighbour is at work and unaware of the confrontation. I have no idea how she will react.

OP posts:
saraclara · 20/06/2022 18:38

TolkiensFallow · 20/06/2022 18:35

So what happened on the phone call OP?

For goodness sake. Is this going to be another of those threads where people just come on to pester for updates?

Give the OP chance, ffs.

Booklover3 · 20/06/2022 18:40

You did the right thing OP. You were more than accommodating

whataboutbob · 20/06/2022 18:41

Not germane to the conversation, but I was in hold to 101 for 15 minutes today and then gave up. Did you notice how out of date their message is, asking if you want to check what are acceptable reasons to leave home due to covid?

NothingIsWrong · 20/06/2022 18:41

Just to add, the Access To Neighbouring Land Act does give her the ability to apply to court for an order giving her access to maintain her property. What it doesn't give her is a blanket right to use your land without a court order, so if she tries to pull that one tell her you look forward to hearing from her solicitor. It will cost her plenty to do this, so if she's going to play stupid games she can have stupid prizes...

if you are happy to give access to some other builder, I would be insisting on a legal agreement, paid for by her, around duration of access, clearing up afterwards and costs should it drag on.

BertieQueen · 20/06/2022 18:44

You did the correct thing, I say that as someone who deals with contractors as a job. No way would I let them back on your property. Don’t let the neighbour talk you round, you have been more then fair having your garden pretty much unusable for that long.

BeckyWithTheGoodHair010101 · 20/06/2022 18:46

What an entitled and sexist wanker. YANBU to tell him to fuck off at all.

MeAndMyKatzen · 20/06/2022 18:53

YADNBU - What a vile excuse for a human. Good for you telling him to get lost. I'd withdraw all offers of access until you're certain he's not doing any more work there. If I were your neighbour I'd be mortified. You're obviously on good enough terms to look after her bunnykins so it would be a shame to fall out over such an asshole. Tell her that he's no longer welcome through your garden. Sorry you had this happen to you. Hugs X

Catslovepies · 20/06/2022 18:54

Absolutely horrible and your neighbour owes you a massive apology and wine/chocolates/flowers for what you've put up with already.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 20/06/2022 18:54

Good for you. You've been accommodating over and beyond

Sanfranciscobabe · 20/06/2022 18:56

We have neighbours starting some work soon and this scenario really worries me. Hope they were reasonable when you spoke on phone

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 20/06/2022 18:57

Well, the phone call has taken place.

I had intended to listen to the neighbour and ( hopefully) await her apology, but in another rush of adrenaline I decided that as she chose the time to speak I would choose the order, and gave my version first.

The builder really told a good tale. He reported back to the company
that when they knocked on my front door as a courtesy I told them to F off. My dog was loose in the back garden and tried to attack them when they opened the gate. He thought I had mental health issues. He saved the best until last and said they thought I wouldn’t let them in because I was racist??

I explained to the neighbour that none of this happened. She knows me and she knows my dog. I still don’t understand the racist part. I think one of them was possibly Eastern European, but I certainly wouldn’t have had any issue with that.

I did assert myself and have told her that whilst I have no particular issue with the other two the rude, misogynistic builder will not be coming anywhere near my property.

In fairness to her she did apologise for this issue, the length of time the scaffolding has been in place, and for not keeping us updated.

She has been having major issues getting the work done. Before employing this company she had been let down by 2 others who wouldn’t even give her a start date after she accepted their quotes.

The man today is not actually an employee. He was contracted/ subbed to do the work by the original builder as he had got behind with his work due to an injury. The contractor will not be returning to her job.

She had not been aware that they were calling today. She has no idea how they knew I had power to my garage. She had arranged to have an extension cable fed through a small window when the work was being done, but hadn’t done this today as she was not expecting them.

The actual builder is said to be a ‘lovely’ man. She has asked if I will speak to him so that he can apologise and hopefully reassure me regarding the impact of the work.

I will speak to him, keep an open mind, and will be asking to see proof of public liability insurance as a bare minimum, and getting assurances re times of work, making good and closing the gate, etc.

I also think I can see a way for the access to be just via my front garden, which will save a lot of stress with the dog, so I will press for that.

In the meantime I have said I will let her leave the scaffolding in place.

OP posts:
AmberSkye72 · 20/06/2022 18:58

Oh, I would most definitely still call up someone of authority to lodge a complaint.

He was rude, condescending, unprofessional and demanding. You shouldn't even be bothered because it is not you that is having the work done.
You more than enough made concessions to allow the work to be done.

You, however did not make a concession that you would be talked down to, be treated rudely, having unreasonable demands made on you in such an unprofessional manner.

You also did not agree to be treated in a sexist manner that YOU as a female have NO say about YOUR own property. That you as a woman shouldn't have a right to make decisions about your own property.

I would let the neighbor know and get the company information so you can make a formal complaint

StrugglingPianist · 20/06/2022 19:01

The builder's tale is ridiculous, no? If you'd told him to F off when he knocked on the door as a courtesy why would he then open the gate to your back garden?

Well done on not putting up with his rudeness earlier and being willing to de-escalate the issue with assurances he won't attend again. I think you've done marvellously.

Sunbird24 · 20/06/2022 19:02

So in his story did the builder knock on your front door and get told to fuck off then go in your back garden and get attacked by your dog, or the other way round? Because both are stupid!
What a dick, hopefully the actual builder is lovely and won’t be contracting to that guy ever again.

Sirius3030 · 20/06/2022 19:03

Well done you!

saraclara · 20/06/2022 19:04

The man today is not actually an employee. He was contracted/ subbed to do the work by the original builder as he had got behind with his work due to an injury. The contractor will not be returning to her job.

That's really good news. And I'm glad that, as I guessed, she had no idea he was coming today and played no part in this. It looks as though the neighbour relationship will survive all this then. I'm sure she feels really bad about it.

Leftbutcameback · 20/06/2022 19:06

I think you did well OP - sounds like a sensible conversation and hope it goes well.

just a cautionary note on the scaffolding which we recently found out. They don’t remove it when the job is finished, I think they only remove it when they need it for their next job, so you might need to put some pressure on when that happens. It was fine for us as it was our roof and front garden but it was an extra couple of weeks. The scaffolders were lovely, and also hilarious, and I would recommend them, but I think it’s just how their industry works.

VeganVampire · 20/06/2022 19:07

Well what a (disappointingly 😉) reasonable and friendly way to resolve the problem.

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 20/06/2022 19:10

Leftbutcameback · 20/06/2022 19:06

I think you did well OP - sounds like a sensible conversation and hope it goes well.

just a cautionary note on the scaffolding which we recently found out. They don’t remove it when the job is finished, I think they only remove it when they need it for their next job, so you might need to put some pressure on when that happens. It was fine for us as it was our roof and front garden but it was an extra couple of weeks. The scaffolders were lovely, and also hilarious, and I would recommend them, but I think it’s just how their industry works.

Thank you for this.
I think the scaffolders might be the same ones, as they were friendly and funny. I am looking forward to seeing them again. It’s a shame it might be a while.

OP posts:
Derbee · 20/06/2022 19:12

LittlestBaoBun · 20/06/2022 14:39

He's an entitled misogynistic cunt. Well done for seeing him off.

Misogynistic language there.

Derbee · 20/06/2022 19:12

LittlestBaoBun · 20/06/2022 14:39

He's an entitled misogynistic cunt. Well done for seeing him off.

Misogynistic language there.

MeridianB · 20/06/2022 19:12

Good outcome, OP.

Are the other two part of the original builder’s firm? If so, they can vouch for your version, should you need it. The guy’s lies are shocking. He sounds dangerous.

riesenrad · 20/06/2022 19:13

That all sounds good OP and a very sensible resolution. He really was a first class w*nker wasn't he! Hopefully the builder will be more careful about who he sub-contracts to in future!

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 20/06/2022 19:18

MeridianB · 20/06/2022 19:12

Good outcome, OP.

Are the other two part of the original builder’s firm? If so, they can vouch for your version, should you need it. The guy’s lies are shocking. He sounds dangerous.

Thank you.

I am not actually sure if the others were also subcontracted.

My other neighbour overheard the conversation in my back garden, so could vouch that I was there with them ( without the dog), so none of what he said adds up.

OP posts:
KosherDill · 20/06/2022 19:26

I'm glad the neighbor accepted responsibility but it seems to me she could have groveled a bit more. The danger to the dog, let alone the misogyny and rudeness, is beyond the pale.

I would add additional stipulations re protecting the greenhouse, etc. -- and NOT at the expense of your time and money. Let the builder take care of that or find another way to get his work done.