Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Have just sent neighbour’s builder away

395 replies

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 20/06/2022 14:35

Our neighbour said she was having work done and we agreed access and to have scaffolding in our garden. We knew it would be inconvenient, but the work was only due to take a few days.

We made sure paths etc were clear and the scaffolding was put up about 10 days before the work was due to start.

It makes access through our normal route very tight, and blocks the majority of light to the kitchen, but is about what we thought.

It’s worse at the moment due to a pre existing agreement to look after my friend’s rabbits, as their run takes up a lot of space, and I have to navigate a ‘squirrel style assault course’ to reach my washing line.

The building work didn’t start as planned, and we have now had the scaffolding up for one month. The Tesco delivery man can’t get his trolley through, so we meet in the garden ( yes, I know ‘first world’ problems!).

We didn’t know work would be starting today, but mid morning my dog
barked ( fortunately he was safely in the house). I saw that my back gate had been wedged open, and men were bringing things into the garden.

They knocked on the door to complain that there were some things stored close to one of the access areas. ( the access itself was clear). I have a postage stamp sized garden and with the scaffolding and the rabbit run I don’t really have anywhere else to move things. The one who was doing all the talking said something like ‘it’s on you if it gets ruined then’.

I asked him to make sure the gate was shut when they were not working in my garden due to my dog ( I will have to take him into the open plan front garden on a lead whilst they are working). He told me they weren’t going to be opening and shutting gates all the time.

I asked when they would be working and he said they would be here when they are here and it might be a day this week and then when they had time over a few weeks. He was almost aggressively vague.

I wasn’t happy, the scaffolding is already a pain, and over a period of a few weeks, with no prior notice, I can’t guarantee that no one will accidentally let the dog out not knowing they are there or have left the gate open.

The final straw came when he again banged on my door and demanded I move the rabbit run, which is about 18” away from the path, and not especially in the way. My husband is away and I couldn’t move it on my own even if I had space.

He said it was my garden and my responsibility to move stuff to give him access. He wanted to set up a cement mixer in that space, and plug it in in my garage. (The garage is normally kept locked.) He was very unpleasant.

I admit I lost my temper there. I told him I was pleased he realised it was my garden and as such I wanted him to remove himself and all of his stuff from it.

I have seen the mess sometimes left by mixing cement and if he had been reasonable I would probably have put up with it, but he was not, and he is not running it on my electricity.

He started ranting that he had a right to be there to get to next door’s job.

I told him that access had been granted with my permission and I was now withdrawing it, and he needed to leave.

He then said he was wasting his time dealing with a woman and wanted to speak to my husband.

At that stage I told him to Fuck off, and left saying I would be phoning the police.

I was on hold for 101 but was quite surprised to see him packing up his stuff and going!

My neighbour is at work and unaware of the confrontation. I have no idea how she will react.

OP posts:
Poodles23 · 22/06/2022 17:19

When they take scaffolding down make sure someone is there to check they don’t damage anything out of spite or accident, take photos of your house and garden before.

Pluvia · 22/06/2022 18:03

My sister has just messaged me from the property that's being renovated. It's 26.5C in the house — hotter than it could ever get with the heat pump on. She's waiting for the carpenter to come round. He said he would but he's already 15 minutes late and isn't answering his phone.

HaveringWavering · 22/06/2022 18:51

Poodles23 · 22/06/2022 17:19

When they take scaffolding down make sure someone is there to check they don’t damage anything out of spite or accident, take photos of your house and garden before.

The scaffolders are not the same people. OP said they were lovely.

N1no · 22/06/2022 21:02

I think a formal complaint is absolutely needed and should be the reason for him loosing his job. It’s a customer facing job and requires polite communication without degrading comments.

GreenChihuahua · 22/06/2022 21:23

YANBU!
He was incredibly rude!

NandoLorris · 22/06/2022 21:41

OP, please google Neighbouring Land Act 1992. Neighbours do have a legal right to go onto neighbouring land for certain types of maintenance. Want you to be informed and armed with the facts!
(The contractor was a complete arsehole and well done for sending him packing 👏)

Pinkbasketcase · 23/06/2022 13:17

You done well to hold it together for so long. You had every right to chase the prick!! Argonaut arse that he is!!

Lisalisaandcultjam · 24/06/2022 10:54

YANBU 100% A couple of years ago the energy firm lettered the street saying they were laying new pipes and cables and "may" have to move our meters to an outside box. Now that wasn't a problem, which I'll explain later on....

Anyway, I heard shouting and swearing right outside my window and went to have a look. There were two of them and they'd dug up several huge holes on my front garden having ripped up all the membrane from under the chips.

I asked what they were doing and they said they had authority, never even looked up at me. I explained that I understood there was work to be done but that nobody had told me the garden would be dug up and they certainly hadn't asked my permission.

One replied that he didn't need to tell me f* all and to go back in the house! I told him he was out of order and he came right up into my face pointing and being really aggressive. He even said I was swearing at him (which I wasn't - I can swear but never swore once in that conversation).

He refused to admit that they should have knocked my door and at least said to me about it. I also said at that point that could they not swear since my then 7 year old was in his room and could hear them dropping C bombs and he got really aggressive again.

His foreman came to the door and apologised and said he would have a word but then was laughing and joking with him outside, so I'm certain he will have been a total knob with others since.

Others came to move the meter and couldn't have been nicer, telling me what they needed to do and even helped me lift heavy things out of the cupboard.

It's not the first time I've seen this kind of thing either, it happens a lot.

There's no need for people to be speaking to you like they have, especially when you are doing them the favour...and then to be blatantly chauvinist into the bargain would really piss me off too.

Stick to your guns. If you feel awkward and don't want to let your neighbour down, then you could insist they use someone else for the work - if that happened here, I don't think I'd want them doing my work. Also if you do, make sure ground rules are set.

Some of them just see it as a job they've got to do and don't care and demonstrate a pure lack of respect if their customers and those around them.

I hope you're ok, good luck,x

ChilledBeez · 24/06/2022 12:54

Good for you! I lost count of the men that have tried to push me around knowing there was no adult male around to help. Too many women are way too polite to these type of men. The absolute nerve of him! I know we are conditioned to be nice and helpful but some men really do take advantage of it - thus, causing you unwanted stress and anxiety from a situation that was not your problem to begin with. Screw that! You should be very proud of yourself.

Nanny0gg · 24/06/2022 13:04

Lisalisaandcultjam · 24/06/2022 10:54

YANBU 100% A couple of years ago the energy firm lettered the street saying they were laying new pipes and cables and "may" have to move our meters to an outside box. Now that wasn't a problem, which I'll explain later on....

Anyway, I heard shouting and swearing right outside my window and went to have a look. There were two of them and they'd dug up several huge holes on my front garden having ripped up all the membrane from under the chips.

I asked what they were doing and they said they had authority, never even looked up at me. I explained that I understood there was work to be done but that nobody had told me the garden would be dug up and they certainly hadn't asked my permission.

One replied that he didn't need to tell me f* all and to go back in the house! I told him he was out of order and he came right up into my face pointing and being really aggressive. He even said I was swearing at him (which I wasn't - I can swear but never swore once in that conversation).

He refused to admit that they should have knocked my door and at least said to me about it. I also said at that point that could they not swear since my then 7 year old was in his room and could hear them dropping C bombs and he got really aggressive again.

His foreman came to the door and apologised and said he would have a word but then was laughing and joking with him outside, so I'm certain he will have been a total knob with others since.

Others came to move the meter and couldn't have been nicer, telling me what they needed to do and even helped me lift heavy things out of the cupboard.

It's not the first time I've seen this kind of thing either, it happens a lot.

There's no need for people to be speaking to you like they have, especially when you are doing them the favour...and then to be blatantly chauvinist into the bargain would really piss me off too.

Stick to your guns. If you feel awkward and don't want to let your neighbour down, then you could insist they use someone else for the work - if that happened here, I don't think I'd want them doing my work. Also if you do, make sure ground rules are set.

Some of them just see it as a job they've got to do and don't care and demonstrate a pure lack of respect if their customers and those around them.

I hope you're ok, good luck,x

I'd have phoned the police for threatening behaviour. And complained all the way to the top of his company

ifIwerenotanandroid · 24/06/2022 13:22

NandoLorris · 22/06/2022 21:41

OP, please google Neighbouring Land Act 1992. Neighbours do have a legal right to go onto neighbouring land for certain types of maintenance. Want you to be informed and armed with the facts!
(The contractor was a complete arsehole and well done for sending him packing 👏)

IIRC, person A can refuse access, then neighbour B can get a legal order for access. That order can contain certain restrictions e.g. on when the work can start, how long it's allowed to take, etc.

Might be useful - I can't remember exactly but I checked the legal position when I had a problem neighbour who gleefully made it obvious that he wanted to do as much damage as possible to our garden during the work on his house. We refused him access (obviously!) & he found another way to do it. I think he was too ignorant or too tightfisted to go down the legal route.

We now have nice neighbours in that house & we granted their workmen access to the garden & they were no trouble at all. The scaffolding was there FOREVER though!

Lisalisaandcultjam · 24/06/2022 14:39

Nanny0gg · 24/06/2022 13:04

I'd have phoned the police for threatening behaviour. And complained all the way to the top of his company

I wish I had have phoned the police now. I did put some very scathing feedback when they randomly chose my address post work to give feedback.

Scoobydoobydo · 24/06/2022 19:24

WTAF?
access ok
the rest? Fuck off!
no cement mixer… mess and drive the dog and rabbits bonkers
no electricity … can you imagine how much they use?

BlueMongoose · 26/06/2022 15:00

bluebell34567 · 21/06/2022 10:06

and the neighbours are never grateful. thats so true.

Not always. My parents allowed scaff on their property when next door were having an extension. The scaffolders were really nice, as were the builders. When my Dad had a fall, Mum ran out to the builders, and one of the young men came in and pciked dad up and checked he was okay. And the neightbours got Mum and Dad a gorgeous big bunch of flowers at the end of the job (which did take a while due to lockdown intervening). It is possible if everyone puts a little bit of effort into it for the world to be a nicer place....

Lizzy53 · 26/06/2022 20:12

The attitude to single women by tradesman stinks in this country. They need a good kick up the a. But if a husband or partner is around then completely different attitudes.

StonedMason · 03/07/2022 09:28

On the one hand this sort of unprofessional bad mannered, arrogant, self entitled, rude builder boy should not be tolerated by customers or anyone else. I work in construction and we have far too many of them, the bad customer relationships usually correlate with bad work as well. On the other hand there is a severe shortage of good companies and trades and these tedious and often aggressive fellas (100 percent men) know it. Also, from what I recall, while you have to allow access I don't this extends to siting scaffold in your way, they should be designing it to maintain your space by for example building it out and spanning from overhead

Tara336 · 03/07/2022 09:36

@Lisalisaandcultjam I had similar, we were told that the gas pipes needed replacing and they would need access to connect the new ones to our meter. All seemed fine until the foreman "let slip" that to put the new pipes in they will need to dig up our newly laid driveway! I said over my dead body will you be doing that! Suddenly I was labelled as uncooperative. I said ok let's go and dig your garden up then and see what you think? In the end they agreed they would not be digging anything up and would feed the pipes in. On the morning the work was due to take place they didn't turn up and I saw them driving off down the road (they had been a no show before) so I left a note on the front door with our mobile numbers and popped in to work for half an hour. I then came home to find the road in front of my house dug up and the foreman marched up to me and started screaming at me about how he'd been waiting since 8am to start work (liar as I saw him driving down road at 9am) he then said how dare I swear at him (I didnt) and what did I think I was doing loading my car up with luggage where did I rhink I was going?

I had told him previously I could be in to let him have access to the meter but would be leaving in the afternoon for a stay at my parents. The foreman neglected to tell me they would need access to my home again I the afternoon to have someone else check the gas supply! He was behaving like a petulant child and his two colleagues just sat in their hole on the street looking embarrassed. I told him I was done, get off my property and don't come back.

The company he worked for apologised, said he'd had some bad news and should not have taken it out on me. I said he was not to set foot on my property again.

Lisalisaandcultjam · 03/07/2022 11:06

@Tara336 that's terrible and sounds almost identical to us that time. You're right too that they don't show up when they say either. When I questioned that they told me that they weren't just responsible for laying pipes, they were called out all hours of the day and night to gas leaks and this was cited as a reason that one guy was really aggressive towards me! I told the foreman that maybe they shouldn't be out laying pipes if they've been up all night. It's not exactly safe is it.

Also, after all the work I had to repeatedly ask them to fix what they'd done to my garden as they had promised. They came to fill all the holes in and moved the chips back over patches of membrane they had torn up. I kept at them and they eventually came back to do it. I'm sure it had been a lie that they were going to fix it as they did the same to my neighbours and didn't come back to fix it like they promised him.

My Dad had a new meter fitted a few weeks ago and there was a leak from it as they hadn't tightened things up properly which is a bit scary.

maddening · 03/07/2022 11:14

Surely access is to move via the garden and the scaffold being allowed to sit on your property. Not to actually do work in your garden and use your electricity.

HappyMediocreTime · 07/07/2022 21:25

How's it going now, OP?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page