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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Have just sent neighbour’s builder away

395 replies

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 20/06/2022 14:35

Our neighbour said she was having work done and we agreed access and to have scaffolding in our garden. We knew it would be inconvenient, but the work was only due to take a few days.

We made sure paths etc were clear and the scaffolding was put up about 10 days before the work was due to start.

It makes access through our normal route very tight, and blocks the majority of light to the kitchen, but is about what we thought.

It’s worse at the moment due to a pre existing agreement to look after my friend’s rabbits, as their run takes up a lot of space, and I have to navigate a ‘squirrel style assault course’ to reach my washing line.

The building work didn’t start as planned, and we have now had the scaffolding up for one month. The Tesco delivery man can’t get his trolley through, so we meet in the garden ( yes, I know ‘first world’ problems!).

We didn’t know work would be starting today, but mid morning my dog
barked ( fortunately he was safely in the house). I saw that my back gate had been wedged open, and men were bringing things into the garden.

They knocked on the door to complain that there were some things stored close to one of the access areas. ( the access itself was clear). I have a postage stamp sized garden and with the scaffolding and the rabbit run I don’t really have anywhere else to move things. The one who was doing all the talking said something like ‘it’s on you if it gets ruined then’.

I asked him to make sure the gate was shut when they were not working in my garden due to my dog ( I will have to take him into the open plan front garden on a lead whilst they are working). He told me they weren’t going to be opening and shutting gates all the time.

I asked when they would be working and he said they would be here when they are here and it might be a day this week and then when they had time over a few weeks. He was almost aggressively vague.

I wasn’t happy, the scaffolding is already a pain, and over a period of a few weeks, with no prior notice, I can’t guarantee that no one will accidentally let the dog out not knowing they are there or have left the gate open.

The final straw came when he again banged on my door and demanded I move the rabbit run, which is about 18” away from the path, and not especially in the way. My husband is away and I couldn’t move it on my own even if I had space.

He said it was my garden and my responsibility to move stuff to give him access. He wanted to set up a cement mixer in that space, and plug it in in my garage. (The garage is normally kept locked.) He was very unpleasant.

I admit I lost my temper there. I told him I was pleased he realised it was my garden and as such I wanted him to remove himself and all of his stuff from it.

I have seen the mess sometimes left by mixing cement and if he had been reasonable I would probably have put up with it, but he was not, and he is not running it on my electricity.

He started ranting that he had a right to be there to get to next door’s job.

I told him that access had been granted with my permission and I was now withdrawing it, and he needed to leave.

He then said he was wasting his time dealing with a woman and wanted to speak to my husband.

At that stage I told him to Fuck off, and left saying I would be phoning the police.

I was on hold for 101 but was quite surprised to see him packing up his stuff and going!

My neighbour is at work and unaware of the confrontation. I have no idea how she will react.

OP posts:
Campervangirl · 20/06/2022 17:06

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 20/06/2022 17:00

Have just had brief text from neighbour.
It sounds like the builder got his side of the story in first.
She has a break at 6.00pm and suggests speaking by phone then.
It’s hard to interpret tone from a text.

Ooh don't back down to the neighbour if she gets shirty.
You've got an hour to get your facts straight, quote what you put in your op.
Don't take any shit (or prisoner's😁) you're on a roll op!
You've the vipers nest behind you ♥️

saraclara · 20/06/2022 17:06

Wriye down everything that happened and everything that was said while it's clear in your memory, so that if your neighbour challenges you, you don't forget anything.

Online2022 · 20/06/2022 17:06

Just tell her everything from this post

carefullycourageous · 20/06/2022 17:07

Don't try to get your version in, just listen to what your neighbour has to say. Then reflect on it for a bit, then go back.

MarinoRoyale · 20/06/2022 17:07

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 20/06/2022 17:00

Have just had brief text from neighbour.
It sounds like the builder got his side of the story in first.
She has a break at 6.00pm and suggests speaking by phone then.
It’s hard to interpret tone from a text.

Remember that that need your cooperation, you gain nothing from this! So unless I got an apology and an assurance there’d be no repeat performance by the builder, I’d be permanently withdrawing consent.

KosherDill · 20/06/2022 17:08

Don't worry about what he told her.

Write out your talking points (use your original message here) so that you don't forget to tell her about any of his behaviour.

In your shoes I would insist the scaffolding be removed. Or a huge fee, including arrears to the day it was first installed. And a different builder; there is NO WAY that one would step food on my property again.

Agree with others about the lock for the rear gate.

I will be very interested in an update!! Stay strong!

Fifiellz · 20/06/2022 17:09

I had the same issue with neighbours last year. I allowed them garden access only to build a wall for an extension on our boundary wall. Work to take 3 days max. Had a legal party wall agreement all signed in which I stated that under no circumstances must my garden be unsecured ever due to nature of my job (and dog) and lots of stipulations from them on how they were going to ensure my property remained secure blah blah

Came home from school run one day and all fences were down, two builders stood having a fag on my decking, concrete mixer merrily spewing shit all over my newly landscaped garden.

I hit the roof, asked how long it was going to take - they said vaguely 1 or 2 weeks. I threw them out of my garden and refused access for the remainder of the job.

Relationship with the neighbours is fine, the builders were still able to do the job, just less conveniently and if they hadn't taken the piss I would happily have allowed access.

limitedperiodonly · 20/06/2022 17:09

Found it. It was advice from a friendly surveyor. My neighbour agreed to £1,000 for a 28-day period with a £150 penalty for each week or part week (so that included just one day) for going over. I was looking forward to that penalty but the scaffolders were there at 7am on the start of the extra day so I couldn't charge them for that. Drat! I don't know what you'll get - I say it was a neighbour but was a local property developer who'd bought the house next door. He was renovating the whole house so it was a very expensive project for him he didn't want delayed but you should be able to get something that will ease your pain because your neighbour won't want her project being messed up for lack of access either. Tell her you'll talk only to her not her builder and insist on her phone number.

MotherofTerriers · 20/06/2022 17:09

Use your OP to make a list of reasons why you told the builder to leave, in case you forget something
Don't put up with her being stroppy. You can just tell her to get the scaffolding taken down, you've already had it up for longer than agreed

Whammyyammy · 20/06/2022 17:10

Tell the neighbour straight, how it was, its your garden and you've been obliging.
It's innyiyr neighbours interest to make amends with you and builder, not yours.

My oh has recently done building work to our house, and you're right, the mess created frim mixing cement and concrete wss awful, luckily he did it in an area which wss planned to be landscaped after (now,!!)

sittingnexttochoppysea · 20/06/2022 17:10

Basically send the neighbour your first post OP, you've articulated it all very well on there.

Littlebirdyouaresosweet · 20/06/2022 17:11

What an arse hole.. Well done op!

StressedMumm1e · 20/06/2022 17:11

He sounds like a peach!

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 20/06/2022 17:11

Campervangirl · 20/06/2022 17:06

Ooh don't back down to the neighbour if she gets shirty.
You've got an hour to get your facts straight, quote what you put in your op.
Don't take any shit (or prisoner's😁) you're on a roll op!
You've the vipers nest behind you ♥️

Thank you.

I will try to be fair to my neighbour, but hell will freeze over before that man sets foot on my property again.

OP posts:
limitedperiodonly · 20/06/2022 17:13

Trying to backdate the storage rental fee for the scaffolding probably won't get you anywhere because you did agree. Concentrate on how much it's golng to cost her going forward and insist on proper terms of behaviour and site maintenance from her builders.

Jofergo · 20/06/2022 17:14

She needs this access more than you!! Don’t forget that.

you are doing her a massive favour. Scaffolding in your garden over summer.
it’s a big ask.

now builders refusing to close gates & wanting to run their cement mixer in your garden using your electricity.

assuming no right of access on deeds you could totally withdraw from the arrangement.

her contractors were totally unreasonable on the basis of your description .

billy1966 · 20/06/2022 17:15

Her tone!!!

She should be concerned about yours employing a thug and imposing on you for weeks and not having the decency to give you her number!

You owe her nothing.

Write down exactly what you remember.

I would listen to what she has to say.

THEN tell her that you are considering the reporting to the police for his aggressive thugish behaviour.

OP, i mean this kindly but you will be spectacularly naive if you allow scum like that builder on your property again.

He made it crystal clear he could give a damn about your home an property.

On what planet does neighbour and builder think your utilities are there to be used?

He was planning on mixing cement on your property?

Unbelievable.

Youaremysunshine14 · 20/06/2022 17:16

It doesn't matter if he got his side across first. It's YOUR garden and you can decide who sets foot in it. Don't let your neighbour guilt trip you into thinking you've done something wrong in telling him to get lost.

SarahProblem · 20/06/2022 17:17

Let us know how it goes OP.

Youaremysunshine14 · 20/06/2022 17:17

And make sure you tell her he was so being so aggressive that you felt compelled to call the police.

Pullpverchuck · 20/06/2022 17:17

It doesn’t matter what the builder has said or what she will say (unless it’s to apologise) don’t let them use your garden as access for the work end of and no doubt the scaffolding will be there til the company get another job after the neighbours job is finished that is what they do around my way so they don’t pay for storage.

OopsAnotherOne · 20/06/2022 17:18

Just to echo the previous posters, OP you've done nothing wrong, in fact you were very accommodating to her requirements. As another neighbour claims to overheard parts of your conversation with the builder, that's essentially a witness to the sort of tone and attitude those builders had with you. You have every right (and a very valid reason) to kick them off your property and if your neighbour gets arsey, you can explain that her issue is best taken up with the builders who were so unbelievably rude to you that it became impossible for them to do their job.

Remember, the builders being sent home is not your fault, it is the fault of the builders. If they have treated you with decency, they would have been allowed to do the work uninterrupted.

iRun2eatCake · 20/06/2022 17:20

I wouldn't trust those builders to have access to my property and treat it with respect.

Your neighbour will side with the builder and will promise the world as she wants the work done but ultimately this is YOUR property and nothing the builder or neighbour can say can make you agree access.

What do you want to happen?

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 20/06/2022 17:21

Fifiellz · 20/06/2022 17:09

I had the same issue with neighbours last year. I allowed them garden access only to build a wall for an extension on our boundary wall. Work to take 3 days max. Had a legal party wall agreement all signed in which I stated that under no circumstances must my garden be unsecured ever due to nature of my job (and dog) and lots of stipulations from them on how they were going to ensure my property remained secure blah blah

Came home from school run one day and all fences were down, two builders stood having a fag on my decking, concrete mixer merrily spewing shit all over my newly landscaped garden.

I hit the roof, asked how long it was going to take - they said vaguely 1 or 2 weeks. I threw them out of my garden and refused access for the remainder of the job.

Relationship with the neighbours is fine, the builders were still able to do the job, just less conveniently and if they hadn't taken the piss I would happily have allowed access.

This is awful, so disrespectful of them.
Well done for ejecting them.

OP posts:
SoftwareDev · 20/06/2022 17:21

OP I salute you for not putting up with the builders attitude!

Absolutely stand your ground - too bad if it makes his life more difficult. Pity he couldn't have thought of that beforehand! Perhaps in future he will reassess how he communicates with people.

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