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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Have just sent neighbour’s builder away

395 replies

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 20/06/2022 14:35

Our neighbour said she was having work done and we agreed access and to have scaffolding in our garden. We knew it would be inconvenient, but the work was only due to take a few days.

We made sure paths etc were clear and the scaffolding was put up about 10 days before the work was due to start.

It makes access through our normal route very tight, and blocks the majority of light to the kitchen, but is about what we thought.

It’s worse at the moment due to a pre existing agreement to look after my friend’s rabbits, as their run takes up a lot of space, and I have to navigate a ‘squirrel style assault course’ to reach my washing line.

The building work didn’t start as planned, and we have now had the scaffolding up for one month. The Tesco delivery man can’t get his trolley through, so we meet in the garden ( yes, I know ‘first world’ problems!).

We didn’t know work would be starting today, but mid morning my dog
barked ( fortunately he was safely in the house). I saw that my back gate had been wedged open, and men were bringing things into the garden.

They knocked on the door to complain that there were some things stored close to one of the access areas. ( the access itself was clear). I have a postage stamp sized garden and with the scaffolding and the rabbit run I don’t really have anywhere else to move things. The one who was doing all the talking said something like ‘it’s on you if it gets ruined then’.

I asked him to make sure the gate was shut when they were not working in my garden due to my dog ( I will have to take him into the open plan front garden on a lead whilst they are working). He told me they weren’t going to be opening and shutting gates all the time.

I asked when they would be working and he said they would be here when they are here and it might be a day this week and then when they had time over a few weeks. He was almost aggressively vague.

I wasn’t happy, the scaffolding is already a pain, and over a period of a few weeks, with no prior notice, I can’t guarantee that no one will accidentally let the dog out not knowing they are there or have left the gate open.

The final straw came when he again banged on my door and demanded I move the rabbit run, which is about 18” away from the path, and not especially in the way. My husband is away and I couldn’t move it on my own even if I had space.

He said it was my garden and my responsibility to move stuff to give him access. He wanted to set up a cement mixer in that space, and plug it in in my garage. (The garage is normally kept locked.) He was very unpleasant.

I admit I lost my temper there. I told him I was pleased he realised it was my garden and as such I wanted him to remove himself and all of his stuff from it.

I have seen the mess sometimes left by mixing cement and if he had been reasonable I would probably have put up with it, but he was not, and he is not running it on my electricity.

He started ranting that he had a right to be there to get to next door’s job.

I told him that access had been granted with my permission and I was now withdrawing it, and he needed to leave.

He then said he was wasting his time dealing with a woman and wanted to speak to my husband.

At that stage I told him to Fuck off, and left saying I would be phoning the police.

I was on hold for 101 but was quite surprised to see him packing up his stuff and going!

My neighbour is at work and unaware of the confrontation. I have no idea how she will react.

OP posts:
DanaScully53 · 20/06/2022 16:30

Good for you Op. I wouldn't let him anywhere near my property again. Like someone else said, get a lock on your gate ASAP. Hope you get something sorted with your neighbour.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 20/06/2022 16:30

Well done! I'd be beyond furious if it were me. The trick wil be to present to your neighbour what happened in a manner that doesn't make them think you are furious with them (yet).

hopeishere · 20/06/2022 16:31

Using your electric to mix cement in your garden. Away to fuck with that.

baffledcoconut · 20/06/2022 16:32

Well done OP! Their attitude is disgusting.

diddl · 20/06/2022 16:41

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 20/06/2022 16:24

Use a generator??

True!

That's all something he should have thought about when he initially looked at the job isn't it?

DameHelena · 20/06/2022 16:41

I'd have given them their marching orders when they wedged open the back gate without having let you know they were there.

Or at the threatening ‘it’s on you if it gets ruined then’. comment.

Or at the aggressive vagueness.

Or at them wanting to set up a cement mixer and plug it in in your garage. (how did he know that was where to plug it in?!?)

Or when he said he was wasting his time dealing with a woman.

In short, he's a cunt several times over. Access to the garden doesn't mean treating it like it's theirs and ordering you about. And it doesn't mean putting up with delays and unknown work days and finish dates. Good for you for throwing him out. I hope your neighbour will be mortified. I feel for them having to deal with these guys TBH.
I would though casually mention the garage electricity and ask how on earth they could have known. I do wonder if your neighbour told them to do this.

FlissyPaps · 20/06/2022 16:46

Good for you for sticking up for yourself and your home OP!💪

As many others on this thread I’m shocked at the cheekiness of them wanting to use your electric. Cheeky Fuckery at its finest.

If I were your neighbour I would be mortified.I do hope it’s all sorted soon and you have full access back to your garden.

Flederjo · 20/06/2022 16:48

And please please keep this thread updated, @Allthecoolusernamesaregone !!!!

HannahSternDefoe · 20/06/2022 16:50

Do you have an isolator switch in the house for the electric supply to the garage? (assuming there's no freezer etc in there that needs power)
Turn it off if you can, just in case the cheek bastards come back and try to use your power.

They can mix the mortar by hand if they need to - it's a bit like mixing muffin batter Grin

I wouldn't let them back in - access will have to be from your NDN side only.

HaveringWavering · 20/06/2022 16:50

I was already furious on your behalf at the point where they marched on to your property and wedged open your back gate without ringing the bell and speaking to you first! The rest is insane. Well done OP.

Witchofthedales · 20/06/2022 16:51

You are NOT being unreasonable. What a complete and utter CF. Also you've gone above and beyond for your neighbour, if I were your neighbour I would be very embarrassed by this builder's behaviour.

HaveringWavering · 20/06/2022 16:51

Sounds pretty lucky that your dog didn’t escape today?

limitedperiodonly · 20/06/2022 16:56

This brings back memories of a neighbour's builders! You were absolutely right. When you talk to your neighbour this evening negotiate a payment for the scaffolding in your garden with an end date for it to be removed including a penalty for each day beyond that it stays up. You should be able to do that even now because the alternative is that she will have to get if removed and that will cost her. I'll dig out my old one to give you a guide. It's probably better to do that than argue about it being taken down. But do get it in writing and get an independent witness (we used another neighbour) to sign it too. Unless the builder is a safety threat to you it's probably best to let him get on with it. But again get in writing a clear end date, hours when he will be on your premises (8am to 5pm weekdays), obstacles to be cleared by the builder and put back after the end of the job, no excessive noise (shouting, radio) garden to be secured at all times, no cement mixing, no use of your electricity, all mess to be cleared up at the end of the date and neighbour to be liable for damage. Not the builder because he'll ignore you. Be prepared to put the stuff back by yourself. Stand your ground - it sounds like you can do that! Good luck and let us all know how you get on.

WB205020 · 20/06/2022 16:56

Depending on how your neighbour responds i would be inclined to demand the scaffolding is removed or at the very least this state that you don't want this builder to step foot on your property again.

WB205020 · 20/06/2022 16:59

I second everything @limitedperiodonly has said. Its vital this is in writing so if you haven't got it done so now, please get something drawn up, signed and witnessed because now you have started to have problems it will go down hill and if there is damage, or future problems you will face and uphill battle to resolve it. I would restrict access until this is sorted.

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 20/06/2022 17:00

Have just had brief text from neighbour.
It sounds like the builder got his side of the story in first.
She has a break at 6.00pm and suggests speaking by phone then.
It’s hard to interpret tone from a text.

OP posts:
MeridianB · 20/06/2022 17:02

You gave the scaffolders access then made them tea and let them use your loo? That's super nice - your neighbour needs to make more effort to be in for these people. It sounds like s/he didn't know about the builders coming today but please don't feel you have to host while your neighbour is at work. You're doing enough!

There is not a chance in hell I'd have the abusive builder on my property in any circs.

MeridianB · 20/06/2022 17:03

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 20/06/2022 17:00

Have just had brief text from neighbour.
It sounds like the builder got his side of the story in first.
She has a break at 6.00pm and suggests speaking by phone then.
It’s hard to interpret tone from a text.

Don't worry about what he has said. You know the truth and your neighbour should trust you and respect your position. Don't be guilt-tripped into letting the same guy back!

WhiskersPete · 20/06/2022 17:03

What a CF! No way would they be coming in my garden again.

Soubriquet · 20/06/2022 17:04

I honestly wonder what excuse he has given to her.

saraclara · 20/06/2022 17:04

The neighbour who gave me the number overheard some of the conversation, and also him calling someone (me?) a fucking bitch to his colleague.

Will s/he be prepared to back you up to the neighbour do you think? I really hope so.

LookItsMeAgain · 20/06/2022 17:04

My suggestion is that she is there when the builders arrive and when they leave. You should not be expected to wait in (even if you're working from home, you're actually working not being at the beck and call of her builders).

I'd ask her what her builders said to her about the incident and sit and wait and I'd actually be taking notes during the conversation (just so you are prepared for when the builders return, if they do).

Invisibelle · 20/06/2022 17:05

Who on earth are the 2% that voted YABU?

aloris · 20/06/2022 17:05

I don't know why it matters that her builders got their story to her first. You are generously allowing her the use of your garden for something that has no benefit to you. Surely the onus is on your neighbor to ensure it is not too burdensome on you? Why has she not given the builders access to her electricity? Should she (or her spouse, if she has one) not be there to ensure her builders have what they need to get her work done?

WeAreBob · 20/06/2022 17:05

I wouldn't be too reliant on the neighbour believing you. She knew she wouldn't be in but hadn't made any arrangements for them to access electricity. Sort of sounds like she planned for them to use yours.

Just be totally honest about what they said and how you responded and don't rise to anything insulting the builder may have said to her and she repeats to you.