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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Have just sent neighbour’s builder away

395 replies

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 20/06/2022 14:35

Our neighbour said she was having work done and we agreed access and to have scaffolding in our garden. We knew it would be inconvenient, but the work was only due to take a few days.

We made sure paths etc were clear and the scaffolding was put up about 10 days before the work was due to start.

It makes access through our normal route very tight, and blocks the majority of light to the kitchen, but is about what we thought.

It’s worse at the moment due to a pre existing agreement to look after my friend’s rabbits, as their run takes up a lot of space, and I have to navigate a ‘squirrel style assault course’ to reach my washing line.

The building work didn’t start as planned, and we have now had the scaffolding up for one month. The Tesco delivery man can’t get his trolley through, so we meet in the garden ( yes, I know ‘first world’ problems!).

We didn’t know work would be starting today, but mid morning my dog
barked ( fortunately he was safely in the house). I saw that my back gate had been wedged open, and men were bringing things into the garden.

They knocked on the door to complain that there were some things stored close to one of the access areas. ( the access itself was clear). I have a postage stamp sized garden and with the scaffolding and the rabbit run I don’t really have anywhere else to move things. The one who was doing all the talking said something like ‘it’s on you if it gets ruined then’.

I asked him to make sure the gate was shut when they were not working in my garden due to my dog ( I will have to take him into the open plan front garden on a lead whilst they are working). He told me they weren’t going to be opening and shutting gates all the time.

I asked when they would be working and he said they would be here when they are here and it might be a day this week and then when they had time over a few weeks. He was almost aggressively vague.

I wasn’t happy, the scaffolding is already a pain, and over a period of a few weeks, with no prior notice, I can’t guarantee that no one will accidentally let the dog out not knowing they are there or have left the gate open.

The final straw came when he again banged on my door and demanded I move the rabbit run, which is about 18” away from the path, and not especially in the way. My husband is away and I couldn’t move it on my own even if I had space.

He said it was my garden and my responsibility to move stuff to give him access. He wanted to set up a cement mixer in that space, and plug it in in my garage. (The garage is normally kept locked.) He was very unpleasant.

I admit I lost my temper there. I told him I was pleased he realised it was my garden and as such I wanted him to remove himself and all of his stuff from it.

I have seen the mess sometimes left by mixing cement and if he had been reasonable I would probably have put up with it, but he was not, and he is not running it on my electricity.

He started ranting that he had a right to be there to get to next door’s job.

I told him that access had been granted with my permission and I was now withdrawing it, and he needed to leave.

He then said he was wasting his time dealing with a woman and wanted to speak to my husband.

At that stage I told him to Fuck off, and left saying I would be phoning the police.

I was on hold for 101 but was quite surprised to see him packing up his stuff and going!

My neighbour is at work and unaware of the confrontation. I have no idea how she will react.

OP posts:
TortugaRumCakeQueen · 20/06/2022 15:12

Wow, well done you!

Get a bolt asap, and fix it to the bottom of your gate, so no one can get in.

Cherrysoup · 20/06/2022 15:12

Wanted to speak to your husband? I'd have laughed in his stupid face!

courtrai · 20/06/2022 15:13

Well done you! Sounds a complete knobber. Our neighbours had scaffolding in our garden 'for a couple of weeks'. Went up in October; didn't come down til May. The builders thought this gave them free access at will. It was a complete pain in the arse and a total bloody mess. Never again

PolkaDotMankini · 20/06/2022 15:13

Wow. I would have thrown him out too. It's not your building work so there's absolutely no reason for them to do anything but gain access on your land. Have you spoken to your NDN yet?

Yaya26 · 20/06/2022 15:14

Gosh He’s a right charmer! Dick!

EL8888 · 20/06/2022 15:14

Totally reasonable. Good on you. He sounds insufferable and very entitled. Your house and garden aren’t ran or arranged for his convenience. How did he think you were going to move the massive rabbit run?!

LookItsMeAgain · 20/06/2022 15:14

11Hawkins · 20/06/2022 14:41

I would text your neighbour and tell her you've withdrew your consent and to get the scaffolding down. She'll have to do the work another way without using your access.

Got as far as this post and 100% agree with withdrawing the consent to having the scaffolding in your garden.

CF builder is now going to be causing your (probably usually nice) neighbour some headaches. All could have been avoided had the neighbour left their gate open for access to their site.

Actually scratch the idea that the neighbour is usually nice. If they had thought about it, they should have left some way for the builders to access their garden to begin the work.

At most, and only if you want to continue to be a nice neighbour, you should only permit the scaffolding to remain. Access to same is now withdrawn. They should also have given you a timeline so my advice would be to give them until the end of July (don't builders usually take the first two weeks in August off as holidays) and then it must be gone.

TheThreadisMildlyAmusing · 20/06/2022 15:15

Well done for not putting up with that misogynistic crap, and no way would I be letting my neighbour's builders run a concrete mixer in my garden and definitely not using my electric for anything. That concrete mixer should be in the neighbour's garden not yours.

Fucking caveman.

Meraas · 20/06/2022 15:18

You did 💯 right OP. I’m proud as punch!

Collaborate · 20/06/2022 15:20

I'm simply puzzled at the 1% who voted YABU - unless it was an accident or the builder himself.

Perhaps consider entering in to a new agreement with the neighbour that places strict time limits on how long the scaffolding will remain on your land and financial penalties in default.

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 20/06/2022 15:21

Wow, thank you for supporting my actions.
I did feel a bit like I had shot myself in the foot as I will now probably have scaffolding up for a lot longer.
To try to answer some of the questions without tagging individuals :

I spoke to my neighbour once about the delay, probably a week after the work should have started. She said it was due to start the next day, but again it didn’t happen.

I assume she realises some of the access problems as she has similar scaffolding her side. She won’t know the extra problems caused by the rabbit run. DH and I do have a bit of a chuckle about our acrobatics to reach the washing line. The rabbits are going home this weekend.

We get on OK. We are neighbours and not friends. I am a bit surprised that we have never exchanged phone numbers. If we had I could at least get in first with my explanation.

She didn’t give us many details, but I think she is having the house re pointed.

The cheeky builder wanted to use my electricity as it is in the garage ( not sure how he knew that) so his cable would reach, and because my neighbour was out and hadn’t given him access to her supply.

I wonder if she even knew they were coming today.

I hope she hasn’t paid in advance.

OP posts:
ArcheryAnnie · 20/06/2022 15:22

Well done!

Be sure to tell the neighbour every single point you raised in your OP. Email it to them if necessary.

Pipsquiggle · 20/06/2022 15:22

What a complete knob.

Well done you!

He wanted to speak to your husband 😡

caramac04 · 20/06/2022 15:22

Builder is a complete bellend. However I wonder if he’s decided he doesn’t want the job now and will use you as an excuse to welch out.
if so you’ve done your neighbour a massive favour. Let’s hope the twat doesn’t try to be horrible going forward. Phone ready to record at every interaction as he’s not to be trusted at all.

billy1966 · 20/06/2022 15:23

I can't believe you have tolerated this for a month and now to be abused on YOUR property by your neighbours builder.

Under ANY circumstances he would not be doing any work near my property.

He's a cowboy and completely untrustworthy, threatening and abusive.

I think reporting him to 101 is a good idea.

Billybagpuss · 20/06/2022 15:24

You can guarantee he’s already been in touch with her, I’d be inclined to try and catch her when she gets home, you sound reasonable so just explain what happened and work out beforehand what compromise you’re willing to accept so she can still get her work done.

AdoraBell · 20/06/2022 15:25

Well done 👍 just be prepared for your neighbours to think he was polite and you were unreasonable, because that’s what he’ll say to them.

NumberTheory · 20/06/2022 15:27

Glad you stood up for yourself. Hope you feel strong for having done so rather than shaken by his vile attitude.

If you are still prepared to allow the neighbour access I would tell them that particular builder is not allowed and that they will personally need to be there every time the builders are in the future.

If you aren't, you probably need to put a lot of pressure on them to get the scaffolding removed. Scaffolders are notorious for leaving scaffolding up until they need it at another job (i.e. using you as storage).

I doubt your neighbours knew what it was going to be like (because most of us are taken by surprise by just how unprofessional poor tradesmen are) but it's their work that they want doing and they are going to have to buffer the impact on you.

soberfabulous · 20/06/2022 15:28

Literally giving you a round of applause OP.

You are a badass: stand your ground this Bloke is a prize prick.

Georgeskitchen · 20/06/2022 15:29

Wow that's CFery even by CF standards. What a disgusting man and I bet if your DH WAS home he wouldn't dare to behave like that!!

maddy68 · 20/06/2022 15:30

You are not being unreasonable to treat him that way (but your poor neighbours , they may well have had to pay upfront for the work etc. ) So you are being a bit unreasonable to them.

He's right that you need to clear the access. If they did it and some damage occured or went missing they would be liable

I would go and explain to your neighbours the situation

Lsquiggles · 20/06/2022 15:31

If work has been stop/start then I imagine your neighbour might be angry that you've sent them away but I don't think you were in the wrong at all, what a horrible man!

Calliewoo · 20/06/2022 15:35

It sounds as if you went out of your way to please. He sounds like a lot of builders
who are used to working with only men and can't converse with a woman.
It's his hard luck. Manners go a long way and he certainly doesn't have any.
Don't know what planet he's from but maybe he doesn't want the job and its an
excuse. Not your fault at all!

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 20/06/2022 15:35

He's right that you need to clear the access. If they did it and some damage occured or went missing they would be liable

Not really. He needed access to get to the scaffolding/walls not "working in your garden cos your neighbour is out access". And OP has absolutely no reason to feel in anyway bad or beholden to her neighbour - who should be apologising unreservedly for the dick behaviour of her contractor.

If the neighbour is in any way angry then OP has no need to let them maintain the scaffolding, so it would be surprising if neighbour did anything other than apologise!

UrsulaPandress · 20/06/2022 15:35

Wow.

Hope the scaffolding comes down soon and peace is restored to your garden.

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